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Guess the Plot

Isabella Vampirella Gets Her Fangs

1. Bitten by a rabid bat, Isabella turns into a rampaging monster who hunts the dark alleys of the night to rip out the throats and drink the blood of her unsuspecting victims. Also, she has a pony!

2. Third-grader Isabella is determined to show everyone how grown-up she is, but how can she when she doesn't have her fangs yet? Be careful what you wish for, Isabella. When she finally gets her fangs, she also gets a humiliating lisp!

3. Brought to the dentist about a terrible case of upper canine overbite, a teenage girl devours the specialist when he refers her to an oral surgeon. A kindly hygienist then opines that Izzie might be a born bloodsucker. Mystery solved. They celebrate by feasting on the receptionist.

4. "Every time a bell clangs, a vampire gets her fangs." If Isabella can get Mr. Potter to destroy George Bailey's happy home, she can earn her fangs and become a real vampire. If not, she'll have to kiss immortality goodbye.

5. In the Young Contessas, Isabella learns to float and put on makeup without a mirror. She would rather be in the Young Counts and learn to control wolves and turn into mist. When a mad scientist kidnaps her friends, Isabella will need both sets of skills to free them.

6. After being dumped by “Ivan the Terrible” of Miami, Isabella and her friends plan a trip to Isabella’s dream destination—Transylvania. But when the ship is attacked by vampires, Isabella’s new date—Todd, a dentist—may have more work than he’d ever bargained for.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Isabella just knows her life will be perfect once she finally gets her fangs!

Isabella is eight years old and thrilled to be starting the third grade with her friends Betha, a witch, and Jack, a werewolf. After all, she’ll officially be one of the big kids taking classes in one of the towers of the magical school, not having lunch until midnight and getting to play on the huge playground deep in the woods. That is until her parents don’t let her walk to school by herself, the teacher assigns seats and puts Isabella near the back of the class and her obnoxious classmate, Talia de la Nuit, thinks she’s so mature just because she has her fangs. ["That is, until..." isn't working as a transition in this sentence. It sounds like you're saying she isn't officially one of the big kids taking classes in the tower, etc., because she's sitting in the back. Maybe this paragraph should read:

Isabella is eight years old and thrilled to be starting third grade with her friends Betha, a witch, and Jack, a werewolf. After all, she’ll officially be one of the big kids taking classes in one of the towers of the magical school. But when the teacher puts Isabella near the back of the class and her obnoxious classmate, Talia de la Nuit, thinks she’s so mature just because she has her fangs . . . well, the thrill is gone.]

Isabella is determined to show everyone how grown-up she is; once she gets her fangs too. But soon Betha discovers her magic, Jack finds his howl and Isabella is feeling seriously left behind as everyone seems to be growing up without her. When Isabella finally gets her fangs she discovers they come with a terrible price. A lisp! With the help of her family, Isabella gets the lisp under control before class on Monday and learns that there’s more to growing up then [than] just getting a set of fangs. [Like what? Getting rid of a minor speech impediment to avoid embarrassment? It's not clear to me what important life lesson she learned. Not having fangs and having a lisp seem equally unimportant to me; I would expect her to learn that some things are far more important than whether you have fangs, but whether you have a lisp isn't one of them. Especially when she gets rid of the lisp almost immediately anyway. Now, if Talia de la Nuit drains the teacher's blood, Isabella would learn that not having fangs is better than spending your youth in juvenile detention for murder.]

ISABELLA VAMPIRELLA GETS HER FANGS is a 10,000 word early middle grade novel aimed at readers of Junie B. Jones and The Magic Tree house series of books who may want something a bit offbeat.

Thank you for your evil consideration.


Notes

I like the title better without the last name. Also, if you insist on using the last name you might use one other than Vampirella, as this is the name of a character who has starred in her own horror comic magazine off and on for about forty years. The character is surely trademarked. Obviously you can't trademark any old name, like John, but this article suggests that because Vampirella is a series of works, and is identified with other stuff, like really sexy posters, the name itself is a trademark.

If you can spell out clearly what Isabella learns, focus the plot summary around that.