Monday, March 22, 2010
Guess the Plot
1. Which tourniquet? Yes. No, that's what I'm asking, which tourniquet? Yes, Witch Tourniquet. Which tourniquet? Exactly.
2. Joan thought she had problems when zombies started sprouting in her flowerbeds. Then, this morning it rained lobsters. Maybe scrubbing the marks off that oddly-shaped stone in the back was a bad idea.
3. Called two a bloody seen, EMT Hairy is inn the zone. Cot off guard by the charms of accident victim Merry, he falls head over heals. Meanwhile, he kneads too figure out witch tourniquet will fit thee fatso with thee concussion.
4. After setting the governor's tie on fire, Alice is sentenced to be executed. She is sent to Gallows Hill. There, a group of dead witches stalk her dreams and plot to kill her. That was one hell of a tie.
5. Wounded in battle, Steve Logan is dying when a "nurse" stanches the bleeding with a spell. Is this the beginning of a beautiful romance, or will Steve be unable to deal with the fact that his true love is a witch, sort of like Darren didn't want Sam doing magic on Bewitched?
6. Nearsighted witch Polly thought the big sign was advertising a "Witch Tournament" and decided to enter. When she finds out it's basically a witch bloodletting, hilarity ensues.
Dear Evil Editor,
After setting the governor’s tie on fire, Alice Sheraton is discovered to be a witch; thus, the governor appoints [Schedules? Sentences?] her for an execution. Her status as a socialite, however, sets her free when her father bails her [out] and sends her to a safe house known as Gallows Hill. [I'm surprised that a legal system would allow bail for someone sentenced to die. Especially if she's a socialite.] Downtrodden, she resigns herself to being hated by the world and living a life that has no future for witches. [We just did a novel about a persecuted werewolf, now we have a persecuted witch. It's an inevitable backlash against authors who stereotype murderous villains as evil.]
But Gallows Hill isn’t the safe house she expected it to be. On her first night there, Alice finds her way to a secret library where she discovers a hellish cross that sends her visions and nightmares. To worsen matters, a dead witch called a Shadowman begins stalking her dreams, urging her to destroy the cross. [If I had a hellish cross that was sending me nightmares, I wouldn't need any urging to destroy it.] Tired of nightmares and seeking a purpose for her life, she tries to get rid of the cross, only to discover that the same Shadowman who sent her the warning wants to kill her for reasons unknown to her. [If someone wants to kill me, I don't need to know the reasons. I'm long gone.]
Not only does her stalker want to kill her, but when she can’t get rid of the cross, [Whaddaya mean, she can't get rid of it? Did she try throwing it in a lake or in a trash dumpster, or putting it in an envelope and mailing it to Ethiopia?] the leader of the Shadowmen Alliance orders her death as well. [Once you've said that one Shadowman wants Alice dead, telling us another Shadowman wants her dead doesn't raise the threat level much. Move on.] Now she must escape Gallows Hill before any of the Shadowmen have a chance to kill her. [Why didn't she need to escape Gallows Hill before the first Shadowman had a chance to kill her?]
Witch Tourniquet is a YA fantasy complete at 95,000.
My name is _______ ________, [as you will discover at the end of this paragraph when you read my signature,] and I have been published in The Oddville Press Issue V and used to write articles aimed at teens in The Xtreme section of The Augusta Chronicle. [Can you get me into the Masters?] I am also the president of the Augusta State University Creative Writing Club [Change your name to the Southeast Writers Alliance. Being president of a club doesn't sound impressive.]
I'd prefer a title that means something to me.
You'd think a live witch could handle some dead witches. Is a Shadowman more powerful than a witch? As a witch, what powers does Alice have? Can't she save herself with magic, like by turning her executioner into a warthog and transporting to another country? What's the point of making her a witch if she can't do witchcraft?