Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Guess the Plot
Dare You to Move
1. I dare you to move. No, I dare you to move. Well, I double dog dare you to move. Nuh-uh, ‘cause I triple dog dare you!
2. The Swingin' Seniors are playing Strip Statues this week. Can newcomer Homer hold his perilous pose until Gretchen's girdle gives out, or will he lose his drawers and his dignity to the laughter of the assembled ladies?
3. Susan shares a crummy apartment with two sloppy roommates, so when her loner uncle bequeaths her a mansion, she starts packing. Then she hears of an evil presence in the mansion's basement. How bad can it be? And what's a trunk novel anyway?
4. Fred Lyczenski hosts a new reality TV show: contestants pack up all their belongings and go live in a different neighborhood for a month. While filming the first episode "Louisiana swamp rat moves to Chinatown" the film crew stumbles across a money laundering scheme. Chaos ensues.
5. When she becomes the unwilling subject of a blog titled Guess Eleanor Cummings' Next Man, Eleanor Cummings must decide whether to fight back against the vicious rumor spreaders who are ruining her life, or to just move. Who knew junior high was such a pain?
6. Life's rough for members of the Filmore High chess club, considered the lowest of the nerds. Then geek princess Liz discovers that bad boy basketball star Tomas has a flair for the board . . . and the high school hierarchy will never be the same.
For Ellie Cummings, there’s only one way to survive eighth grade— be silent and invisible and don’t fall for a boy. [I wish it had been that easy for me. I made it through 8th grade with bribery, a flak jacket, and by imagining my French teacher, Miss Devereau, conjugating verbs in the nude.] This would have been a breeze, if Justin Sampson the cute ninth grader Ellie shared a secret summer friendship with hadn’t transferred to her school. [That sentence needs two commas, neither of them being the one that's actually there.]
After Justin brushes off the attention of several popular girls to hang out with Ellie, rumors infest the eighth grade class. Is Ellie Cummings having a secret affair with an older boy?
Yeah right! Seriously, not gonna happen.
And all it takes to vault Ellie from the safety of invisibility to the bright glare of notoriety is one amazing first kiss, a couple jealous girls, and some very compromising photos. Suddenly, she's the unwilling star of a blog titled Guess Eleanor Cummings' Next Man and St. Vincent Academy’s designated slut. [I would end that sentence after "Man"; if you do use the slut part, put it before the blog part so it doesn't sound like it's part of the blog title.]
How does a girl who’s never stood up for herself become a voice powerful enough to reach beyond the walls of her school? [Not clear what that means. Does she become this powerful voice? In what way? If she leads a crusade against Internet bullying, say so.] And what is she really running from, the sleazy girl someone has turned her into or the girl who just might be in love for the first time? [I had no idea she was running from anything. I thought she was standing her ground, becoming a powerful voice.]
Yeah right! Seriously, not gonna happen. That's nice voice, but if it means she would never date an older boy, I'm not getting that impression; I assume the kiss was with Justin? (Also, the difference in age between an 8th and 9th grader could be as little as a day, so it seems Justin would have to be another grade higher for this to be a scandal. Surely plenty of 8th graders who date would have 9th grade boyfriends? I mean, what girl would want to date an 8th grade boy?)
I assume this is just the plot portion of your query, as otherwise it would include the book's title, length, audience.
Make it clear why Ellie can survive 8th grade only by becoming invisible. She's not the new kid. It's her school. Why should she need to do anything different to survive 8th grade than she did to survive 7th grade?
In short, it's not bad, but there are some holes that need to be filled in.