The turning point in Graham Chansky's life was the day he brought a live cow to school for show-and-tell and slaughtered it in the front of his third-grade science class. Sure, the cow's screams, which could be heard over the roar of the chain saw, were disturbing, and the blood was flowing like a river, and no doubt Mrs. MacReady wasn't happy with Graham, but at least for once Steffie Carruthers noticed him.
Graham has been content to remain a shy kid, always sitting in the back, never raising his hand, but when Steffie moves to Wormdale, Graham vows his life will change. In fourth grade he comes to school drunk out of his mind every day. In sixth grade he murders his mother. In tenth grade he instigates a war between Mexico and Guatemala. All to win the heart of the beautiful Steffie Carruthers.
In his waning years, haunted by dreams of his lovely mother, an innocent cow, and two million dead Guatemalans, Graham looks back on his life. Sure, he's had a perfect marriage to Steffie, but at what cost? Was it all worth it? he wonders. He decides that it was.
Bad Things Haunt Good Men is a 90,000-word autobiographical memoir of a man who would do anything for love, including that. Interestingly,