A pharmaceutical genius tries to turn millions of men with hair loss problems into zombies with his brain-sucking Rogaine shampoo.
Dear Agent X,
I am seeking representation for my novel, Semi-Sentient Soap Scum on the Prowl, a 70,000 word horror novel with zany elements.
Sir Rodney Rillion is a devilishly handsome pharmaceutical genius with a problem. With his world travels and his easy, virile way with almost all women, Rodney has extended himself, wealth-wise and…otherwise, past the point of no return. He’s just about shot his wad.
Lying awake in bed one night in Singapore, with several female admirers sleeping all around him, Rodney decides he cannot abide taking these imminent losses lying down. Brilliant man that he is, he sees clearly, there in the dark, what he needs: a captive male audience for his new pharmaceutical product.
The only problem: this stop-hair-loss shampoo turns men’s brains into a soul-sucked stew, their zombiefied bodies a dead giveaway that something is amiss. That and the shampoo, when rinsed off, leaves a crusty soap scum with the brain power of the very hairy zombies trapped inside. Yes. Sentient soap scum.
How many women can Rodney add to his worldwide collection? How many zombie’s wives fit the formula for Rodney-love? How many will have to be zombiefied and ordered to eradicate said soap scum?
Or will the soap scum, in a giant genetic leap of faith, pull itself together and do battle with Sir Rodney and his female scum-cleaning minions?
I’m currently cleaning up and polishing the sequel to this novel, entitled Semi-Sentient Soap on a Rope.
Thank you for your time.