Saturday, February 16, 2008

Fake Query 1 (Forced Air)

Doing a little "duct work" for lonely housewives has become a lucrative sideline for HVAC expert Gus Furness. Until he gets caught, that is, by an irate husband who is about to show Gus what can be done with sheet metal and . . . Forced Air.


FORCED AIR is an erotic comedy about a middle management desk jockey, Gus Furness, who is required to service HVAC systems when his firm’s union employees strike. Little does this bean-counter know that he’ll end up servicing more than central heating and air-conditioning units. He quickly learns the truth about men in tool belts and bored housewives.

On his first service call he is embarrassed for the woman who must answer the door dripping wet from the shower clutching a towel to her front. Embarrassed, that is, until she turns her bare back to him and takes his tool in her hand to tune-up her neglected heating unit. As his body tones from occasional labor and repeated service calls, the heat is turned up on Gus’s adventures. Eye-openers in the morning, matinees during the day, threesomes, and moresomes cause Gus to forget about risks until Jack Hammer arrives home early while Gus is pounding away.

Jack, with hands the size of hams and arms of twisted blue steel, is in a rage from suspicions his beetle-brain has stumbled upon. With Gus’s metal shears in hand, Mr. Hammer plans on making alterations to Gus’s equipment. With the fate of his technicals in the air, Gus escapes with only his Blackberry and barricades himself in the utility room and texts with lightning speed. Just as Jack’s axe is about to break down the door, Gus is saved by the cavalry, three score housewives mounted in SUVs and minivans.

--Wes Redfield

9 comments:

Dave F. said...

I like it. I like it. It sounds like fun and has all the elements of a successful parody.
This made me laugh: until she turns her bare back to him and takes his tool in her hand to tune-up her neglected heating unit. I'll never look at my furnace by American Heating (Who Can, Ameri-Can) again.

Pie Traynor ;)
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Sarah said...

What a romp! I think you should write this one. Love the names!

ril said...

Great. Fleshed out the fake plot and farcically funny to boot. Well done!

Whirlochre said...

Yes - this leaves no stone unturned regarding the initial fake plot and the additions made me laugh.

Clear, concise writing - I had no idea what an SUV was till I looked it up just now, but I got the joke.

As for 'technicals' - I'm making it my euphemism of the week.

Robin S. said...

Yeah, Wes. Servicing and then some!

This is so funny- that last paragraph had me grinning my ass of with the scene visuals.

I swear I think you should write this.

Brenda Bradshaw said...

I ADORE this! I giggled and I NEVER giggle. You should definitely write it if for nothing else but US to read!

Pretty please?? ~she begs prettily~

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I hope Robin is not jealous, because you really picked up on her style. Sometimes,when the service has been really excellent, writing a check just doesn't seem to be enough!!

ME

Robin S. said...

Hey.

pjd said...

Outstanding. I love puns and wordplay; excellent job. Plus, all men want to believe that Gus' story is true. (I think many women do, too.)