Friday, March 23, 2007
Guess the Plot
1. When the computer industry nosedives, one geek decides to switch majors. Follow Cole, as he spends an entire biology lab attempting to dissect a computer mouse.
2. Before his death Hitler sent a guy to America to start a college, training people for leadership roles in all walks of life. Sixty years later, alumni of the college are ready to make their move, and if they succeed . . . the U.S. will have its first Nazi president.
3. This tell-all expose on the Electoral College shows what really happens on election night and in the months following: the shocking S&M parties, illicit use of hallucinogens, strip poker, and even drinking games based on FOX News shows. Is this any way to choose the leader of the free world?
4. When a group of college professors attempt to take over the world, and educate all the illiterate by force, only one thing stands in their way... some of the professors can't read.
5. The farmers didn't mind Tim setting up his "college" on the Perkins place. It was cute that all them girls wanted to get eddy-cated. Suspicions arise, however, when the girls start coming home . . . different.
6. When Tera wins a scholarship to her local community college, she is thrilled. Now she can achieve her dream of becoming a taxidermist. But soon after she starts classes, she discovers someone is practicing taxidermy on the students.
I see on your website that you represent mystery/suspense, among others. [Be more specific: say "among other stuff."] My novel, THE COLLEGE, is complete at 80000 words.
One week before the fall of the Third Reich in 1945, Hitler secretly sent off his teacher from Berlin to America. [His teacher? Whom are we talking about? Hitler probably hadn't been in school for forty years, and when he was in school he surely had more than one teacher.] The man faded into obscurity in upstate New York while his death was faked in Istanbul. Soon after, a college more exclusive than Harvard was born in New York State with a single-minded vision of training up the next generation of white extremist leaders. More than 60 years had now gone by. In that time, THE COLLEGE had successfully placed its leaders in all areas of commerce. [Unfortunately, most of them have now taken early retirement.] [So, is THE COLLEGE the name of the college? Has the administration ever heard of lower-case letters?] [I can see not wanting to call the place Nazi University, but if you want your graduates to get jobs in all areas of commerce, it might be better if job interviews don't go:
Interviewer: And where did you get your business degree?
Applicant: THE COLLEGE.
Interviewer: What college?
Applicant: Just THE COLLEGE.
Interviewer: STOP YELLING. We'll be in touch. Next.]
Now it had its first Senator. With the Presidential elections looming in the near future, [No need to provide the definition of "looming."] THE COLLEGE’s plans were coming to a head. But all its careful planning could become undone when THE COLLEGE hired its first non-white faculty member. Lee, a top Stanford graduate, was hired to fulfill accreditation purposes. [If full accreditation requires a racially diverse faculty, I would argue that hiring one black guy isn't gonna do it.] As Lee inadvertently discovered the secrets of THE COLLEGE, [He looked through the catalog of course offerings and put two and two together:
English 212: Fantasies of Literature, from Wonderland to Oz to the Holocaust
Religion 160: Why God likes white people best
History 265: The 20th century's most benevolent leaders, from Gandhi to Hitler
Political Science 115: Getting away with genocide in the 21st century
Chemistry 101: Building your own home gas chamber]
he became a target for elimination.
[We must kill Lee.
Why, Herr Dean?
He knows too much.
But he's the only black guy on campus.
That's the other reason.]
Will he survive and expose THE COLLEGE’s past and its plans for the future before America, unknowingly, elects a Nazi President? From corrupt officials to racism, THE COLLEGE is a mystery/suspense novel that combines historical facts [Historical facts like, There was once a guy named Hitler.] with current issues.
Can I interest you in a few sample chapters?
Thank-you very much for your time and consideration.
If you don't want to put the whole thing in the present tense, at least do so with the part that takes place in modern times. It'll read much better.
Not sure why they need to fake the guy's death in Istanbul. Plenty of Germans died in Germany during the war.
I'm not sure what's involved in starting a college, but I'm pretty sure they aren't just born.
I think you've got your work cut out for you if you want people to buy into this plot. I mean, the first graduates of THE COLLEGE are now about 70. The first faculty members are probably dead. Finding new faculty members on a regular basis for a Nazi curriculum wouldn't be easy. Sure, there are neo-Nazi groups, but how many of their members are qualified to teach college classes?