Wednesday, January 31, 2007
New Beginning 204
Willis laughs, so I punch him in the face.
Maybe it’s a mistake, but it still feels good. Inside, I mean. The actual feeling of his teeth gauging into my knuckles is not pleasant. It’s still worth it, though. That's the last time anyone will laugh at my fluffy Bunny slippers. But Willis is an okay guy, so I help him to his feet.
He's actually my best friend. Sort of.
"What the hell?" he asks, rubbing his jaw.
"Sorry, I got carried away," I say. I didn’t even hit him that hard. I couldn't because of my Pixie Stix arms.
"Sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with you," he says.
I wonder that too. Sometimes.
We take a seat at the bar.
“I just can’t believe you wore slippers to the bar, man,” Willis says, shaking his head.
“Yeah well, I want to be comfortable,” I say.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asks. It is still early, so we actually get service without having to wait for an hour. The bartender looks annoyed. That annoys me.
“Bud light,” Willis says.
“Boddingtons,” I say.
After the bartender walks away, I assault Willis.
“What the fuck?” I yell at him.
“Jesus, what now?” he says.
“You just ordered a BUD LIGHT, that’s what. Now you look like a total fucking douche bag. And now I look like one too just for being seen with you,” I say.
He shakes his head. He doesn’t get it. That’s why he’s a tool and a douche bag. And he’ll never even know it.
The light catches the glass eye on the bunny slipper.
He just doesn't get it.
"Nothing," I say.
I told you he's a douche bag.
"Say what?" Willis asks.
"Dude! I said nothing!"
Face it. He deserves to die. We're going to have to kill him.
I look away from my slipper and turn my gaze to Willis. I nod. The slippers are right. They always are.
Opening: Chris Rylander.....Continuation: Rashenbo