Guess the Plot
Worst of Luck
1. When Kennedy starts attending a school for magic users, one of his classmates curses him to body-hop into a new person every day--a person having the . . . worst of luck. Hilarity ensues.
2. When vice agents raid FiFi LaTouche's School for Young Ladies, ace detective Zack Martinez knows two things: nice girls don't wear red, and he should have changed his shorts that morning.
3. Mel Richards thought he was joining a gated community with high security, wealthy neighbors, and a 9-hole golf course. It's actually a cult ... with high security, wealthy members, and an 18-hole golf course whose back nine holes are in a province of hell.
4. The pot of gold seemed free for the taking after catching a leprechaun. Yet ever since Lewis started spending it, terrible things have been happening. Now he has to get back all the gold before the world ends. On Monday.
5. Felix loves sausage beyond all else. Hoping to bring the joy of this cuisine to a small Appalachian town, he sinks his savings into a new venture: The Wurst Restaurant. Weeks go by, but no diners. Felix joins the Navy and ships out as cook on the USS Indianapolis in July 1945. Felix figures war can’t be as bad as his failed restaurant.
6. Charlie's favorite days are the regular ones: wake up at sunrise, drink coffee, shower, eat a bagel, get dressed, drive to work in his taupe sedan. But today is not a regular day because the man dressed like Ronald McDonald is waiting for him at the stop sign again.
Dear Evil Editor,
I am submitting WORST OF LUCK (81,000 words), a fast-paced YA fantasy with quirky humor and touches of sarcasm, to you because [some reason I desperately hope will matter to said agent]. [I'd work this information into the paragraph after the plot summary.]
New-guy Kennedy Jacobs finds out exactly why Adina Anteloni doesn’t fit in at school when she sprouts a pair of horns and curses him at the spring dance. Adina is secretly a Zoandrian, a human-animal hybrid with a magical talent, and unfortunately for Kennedy, her talent is Curse Working. Now Kennedy is living through one terrible day after another, body-hopping from person to person [among people] who are experiencing the worst of luck, and Adina faces serious punishment if the Zoandrian Senate finds out she lost her temper … again. [Focus on one character; the punishment Adina risks is connected to Kennedy only tangentially.]
When Kennedy’s body-hopping lands him in the mind of a Zoandrian rebel, Adina isn’t able to hide her mistake any longer. The rebels suspect Kennedy knows their secrets, and the Senate is certain he knows too much about them all. [Why would body hopping into a rebel give Kennedy knowledge about all the senators?] [How do the rebels and the Senate know whose bodies Kennedy has hopped into?] The rebels want Kennedy dead while the Senate plans to strip him of his memories—even the ones he’s beginning to grudgingly cherish of Adina. It will take everything Kennedy and Adina have to remove the curse and turn their bad luck around … and maybe into something more.
WORST OF LUCK is a standalone novel with series potential that will appeal to readers who enjoy unlikely romances and stories featuring schools for magic-users. [If this is a school for magic users, you might mention that earlier. What magic abilities does Kennedy have? Why does Adina sprouting horns and putting a curse on someone show she doesn't fit in at school, if it's a school of people with magical abilities? Even if it does show this, Kennedy, being the new kid, wouldn't know it.] The humor and multiple perspective storytelling may appeal to fans of Anna Bank’s [Banks's] Syrena Legacy Series while the concept of living as a new person each day may appeal to fans of David Levithan’s Every Day.
Professionally, I am a freelance editor, the co-founder of a local critique group, and the lead author on a scientific publication about the endangered Georgetown salamander. Non-professionally, I am a crazy cat lady who loves Disney, dragons, and dessert.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Usually I expect even a paranormal YA book to focus on the relationships among the teens, and issues of a more personal nature than rebels and senators wanting to kill them or erase their memories. Stuff like drugs, bullying, sex, peer pressure. Perhaps putting more emphasis on Kennedy's romantic interest in Adina would help.
It's not clear how the Zoandrian Senate or the rebels get involved in what's happening at a school. Is there some kind of civil war going on?
Who's running Kennedy's body while he's in someone else's body? Is it a swap?
Why does Adina curse the new-guy? Why is new-guy hyphenated?
I think we can do without the Senate in the query. Tell us who the rebels are, and what they're rebelling against. And why is Kennedy attracted to the student who cursed him?
An example of a humorous body-hop would be better than just stating that the book has quirky humor.