Why you don't get published.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Fake Query #1
#587 Fake Plot:#3
Dear EE:
Musical enrichment is vital to the development of children's cognitive abilities. Therefore, I want to have you look at my idea for a combination of songbook/storybook/picturebook for toddlers: At Play on the Isle of Song.
Here, white Unicorns frolic with purple ponies [with only the occasional stab wound] on the Isle of Song, where all the flowers are happy all the time, and all the faeries are flower princesses. And there's a mean old dragon to boot!
The Flower Fairy, Daisy, is the Rose Princess. She has her own special song about sharing, 'Sharing Makes Me Happy', which encourages little ones to share.
The Purple Ponies have their own special song, too, 'Purple Drank is for Skanks', which aims to discourage drug abuse. [I assume there's an accompanying CD. If you've signed Prince to perform "Purple Drank," say so. It's a selling point.]
The Unicorns have their own special song, too, called "Stay a Virgin" [sung by Madonna on the CD,] which is meant to encourage little children [unikernals] to honor their bodies and not do sexual things until they are at least 12.
Finally, there's an evil dragon who wants to end all music and happiness in the land. His special song, 'Hooray for the RIAA", encourages children to express themselves freely.
I have a PhD from the University of Phoenix in Accounts Management and have won many awards from the Quincy Mass library writer contest.
Thank you for your time.
--Khazar-khum
Notes
Better than a CD would be a link to music files the toddlers can steal.
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5 comments:
You forgot "Say No to the Man in the Unmarked Van."
This made ma laugh out loud. It's so polemical. IT would make a good satire. However, to create a great satire, one needs the Bieber.
Khazar-khum, you owe us all an insulin shot.
If I'd been drinking Purple Drank, I would have choked on it at that part. The query definitely took a turn there! Unikernals made me smile too :) Thanks you both!
Why, thank you all! I was thinking of having the winner of the Battle of the Bands at the Alfalfa Festival do the songtrack, but I suppose Prince or Madonna would do, too. The Bieber is too out-of-touch with children today. We need experienced singers to reach their unformed minds.
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