Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Guess the Plot
1. Gabriel, Prince of Vampires, must find a young bride to bear his heir or his line will die, so he chooses 16-year-old Amy and Jesus H Christ I already hate this book.
2. Fury must survive the citadel's eight floors of torment in order to die. If she doesn't survive them, she lives. It's a bit paradoxical, but trust me, it all makes sense in the book.
3. Finally. The REAL story of Hudson's disastrous voyage to discover the Northern Passage. As described in the newly-discovered diaries of Juet, Hudson, mauled by a werecaribou while on a water-gathering expedition, fled the Discovery to protect the crew from his ravenous appetite for timber. Told in verse.
4. "Dearly Beloved..." Pastor Anton always says at the beginning of his Sunday sermons. But he knows that fully one tenth of his flock are The Accursed, beings in human skin who walk the earth "converting" mortals. How is the pastor so adept at recognizing these lost souls? He's one of them.
5. Frederick loses jobs. A bankrupt restaurant, laid off from a delivery service, and fired for cursing a customer. One night on his way home from the pub, he meets Leo de Leeuw, a lion. Leo promises him great wealth if he helps other lions escape from the zoo. He gives up drink and works obsessively for weeks. Finally, he frees the lions. But he doesn't get paid. The lion was lyin’.
6. Bayleigh's school is a nexus--all kinds of magic and bizarre creatures roam its hallowed halls. All, except for her. Because in this place of magic, undeath and love, she's . . . the accursed.
Dear Most Evil Editor,
The Accursed is a dark fantasy about a woman who can’t remember her real name and doesn’t know why she’s unable to die. Since you [represented, made your preferences plain, et al] I thought you might be interested in this book.
Fury is a matchless fighter haunted by a past she can’t remember. [If she can't remember her past, how does she know it's her past that's haunting her? Maybe it's the ghost of Christmas future.] Though her every wound heals in moments, pain is her constant companion. With a single touch, Fury can heal others by taking their injuries as her own. ["The Empath." Star Trek, episode #67.] Death refuses to allow Fury beyond its gates, [She's already beyond them. She wants to get inside them.] and, searching for a means to die, Fury enters Nekatix, the infamous city without laws. [Well, there's one law: you must return your DVD or they won't send you another one.] There, she meets Vorlinax, [Sounds like an antacid.] a ruthless Guildlord fascinated with her capacity for survival. In return for becoming his bodyguard, Vorlinax agrees to find her entrance into the next world. ["If you be my bodyguard, I can be your ticket to hell."--Paul Simon.] [What makes her think he can find her a way to die?]
She serves Vorlinax alongside Nevrik, [Amazing how three such different words can sound like the same word. I recommend changing them to Netflix, Vortex and Newman.] a pervasively cheerful swordsman with silver pupils eerily similar to Fury’s own. When the nameless ‘High Ones’ take Fury prisoner for breaking the city’s only law [I told you there was a law.] and touching a Monument, more than infatuation urges Nevrik to find and set her free. Someone wants them to delve into the deepest secrets of Nekatix and destroy the city at its core. Enduring fire, steel, lightning, and countless other torments, Fury faces death when she no longer wants to meet it. From the buried memories of her mother’s brutal murder to the origins of her immortality, Fury will leave no secret untouched or foe intact to punish those responsible for her pain.
If Fury falls to madness or despair before reaching the heights of Nekatix’s Unwrought Citadel, she will spend eternity in ceaseless anguish. [She's immortal and in pain. She's already spending eternity in ceaseless anguish.] Only if she overcomes eight floors of torture, illusion, and memory [Are the torments actually countless, as previously stated, or are there eight of them?] will Fury find the escape for which she longs. [Which is what? Is she back to wanting death? Is overcoming all eight floors the way to destroy the city from its core? What happened to Vortex?]
Thank you for your time and consideration. The Accursed is 100,000 words.
It's not clear enough what's going on. Did the nameless High Ones put her in the Unwrought Citadel? Or did she go there willingly after Newman rescued her from them?
Is anyone fighting with her in the citadel?
If surviving the eighth floor destroys the city, and I'm the High Ones, I'm snatching her out of the citadel as soon as she reaches the seventh floor, locking her in a safe, and throwing it in the ocean. I'm not gonna assume she'll never get past Borgo the Disemboweler on floor 8.
Focus more on story. Tell us what happens, chronologically.