Thursday, November 11, 2010
Guess the Plot
Living in Forgotten
1. George accidentally opens a portal to Forgotten - the land of awkward titles.
2. Annie lives in, um... uh... someplace, where she's a grocery clerk at, uh... some grocery store or other. Something happens.
3. The protagonist, whose name escapes me, leaves her hometown and, unable to remember its name or location, searches desperately for a way to return there.
4. A guy with a funny name was the mayor of Wherever when he got into some naughty trouble with the milkmaid, or was it the baker's wife? Anyway, a lot of crazy stuff happened and then, um, the end.
5. Khris thought it would be a good idea to move to Forgotten, which is filled with gangs and thugs and thieves, but now that he's here it's not the exciting adventure he was expecting. Can he find his way back to Privileged before he gets killed?
6. Forgotten, Illinois lives up to its name. They forgot to build a school, a church, a town hall or even a Wal-mart. When wannabe Senator, Bob Forthwright, makes a PR mission out of bringing these things to 'poor' Forgotten, the citizens revolt- led by hot country bumpkin Mary-Alice McMaddock.
7. After a brief stint of notoriety, a Payphone’s Occlusion is cast into a dimension of forgotten shadows. When the phone itself shows up in a background scene of Cheaters, fame and fortune return…but at what price? Calls cost more than 10 cents these days and the Occlusion can’t even scrounge up a nickel.
8. Alexandra Capricorn can't remember how she got to Forgotten. She can't remember her three ex-husbands, discovering Blackbeard's lost treasure, or what happened to her twin sister. She's not the only one--everyone in Forgotten has had their mind erased by evil producers mining their pasts for soap opera gold. Can Alexandra stop them in time?
9. Janie Kent loves her job running Ciudad Olvidado, a sleepy trailer park. But when drug dealers try to move in on her territory, ex-Marine Janie organizes her cadre of misfit tenants into a makeshift army, all while trying to duck the notice of that cute sheriff.
10. M’jula sells real estate on The Forgotten Planet, a Gas Giant orbiting a dying sun. She’s just discovered a legal loophole allowing considerable leeway in her depictions of the methane-rich frozen wasteland. Bring on the wealthy willing to buy "sight unseen". But the Alpha Centauri Mafia do not easily forgive being swindled.
Dear Evil Editor
Living in the streets of Forgot wasn’t the adventure Khris had hoped for. [Although it does get pretty exciting at rush hour.] Stealing, hiding from the gangs and keeping his home a secret wasn’t exactly what he had imagined. [The second sentence is more specific than the first, but basically, both say the same thing. They can easily be combined into one sentence.]
When running away from a bunch of thugs, he runs into a small mute boy with a very big talent. [He has the ability to speak with perfect enunciation, almost unheard of among mutes.] Together they learn to understand each other as well as to trust others. But life in Forgot never stays easy.
In the Forgotten, a gang will corner them into an impossible heist [The first paragraph was past tense, the second was present, and now we're in future tense? I can't wait to see what we progress to in the 4th paragraph.] while in the Privileged, the PC get ready to hunt for more talented, a hunt that will leave many dead and many more missing. [If that sentence is clear to you, it's either because you wrote the book or because your mind works in mysterious ways.]
Can they live the streets especially on the wrong side of the wall? [Ah, the hypothetical tense.] [Also, what wall?]
My young adult fantasy, LIVING IN FORGOTTEN, is complete at 69,000 words. It's the first instalment [sp.] of a planned trilogy, yet it is quite capable of standing on its own. [The word "quite" is almost always useless. Note that I didn't say "quite useless," as that would have meant the same thing.] LIVING IN FORGOTTEN is my first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
What is Forgot? What is Forgotten? Why isn't the title Living in Forgot or Living in the Forgotten?
What is the mute boy's big talent?
Start over, and this time summarize the book such that someone who's never read it has some idea what you're talking about. Apparently the city of Forgot is divided by a wall into areas known as the Forgotten and the Privileged. Apparently Khris is from the latter but has crossed into the former seeking adventure? Why don't you just tell us this? Then tell us what happens to Khris. If the Forgotten isn't all he was hoping, why doesn't he just go back to the Privileged? What does he want and who's stopping him from getting it?
If the Forgotten is the bad part of Forgot, why do you claim that life in Forgot never stays easy? Shouldn't that be Life in the Forgotten never stays easy?
No way would the privileged allow their city to be named Forgot. You don't see the Park Avenue crowd campaigning to have New York City renamed Homeless Shelter. Also, I can see the forgotten referring to the two sectors as Forgotten and Privileged, but the privileged would probably have different names for them, like the Industrious and the Iniquitous. In short, if Khris is originally from the Privileged he probably doesn't call it that.
Do we have to name this place Forgot? It makes me think the novel is an allegory, and you want to make sure we get it.
Does PC stand for Politically Correct? Because the politically correct probably wouldn't participate in deadly hunts of talented people. If it stands for Privileged Commandos, use the words. You can't just toss out terms like the Privileged, the wall, the PC as if everyone knows what you mean.