Face-Lift 718

Guess the Plot

Lone Wilder

1. He thought he could get over his anxiety problems all by himself, but Stan Wilder is quickly realizing that he may be on his own forever, especially now that he can’t walk out his front door.

2. Eleven year-old Billy Keefer attempts to draw a new comic book hero called the Lone Wilder. But when the character leaps off the page - literally - and starts causing havoc in Billy's life, Billy realizes he's getting more than he bargained for.

3. Cornered in his mountain hideaway, Dracula escapes by time traveling to 1942 to join forces with Hitler. But a secret government agency uses equipment discovered in Roswell, New Mexico to send a super-powered agent after Dracula, an agent named . . . Lone Wilder.

4. No one wanted much to do with the stranger when he arrived in town. Pleasantville, Montana was a quiet place with no desire to host an ex-outlaw (or whatever he was--nobody was certain). But when the werewolves started showing up, only one man had the guts to deal with them: Lone Wilder.

5. After 7 years of partying with almost no effort at graduation, Van Wilder is forced to grow up and joins the Texas Rangers. But when he barely survives an ambush that kills five other Rangers, he decides to dig six graves and don a mask, leaving behind his original identity forever to become . . . the Lone Wilder.

6. Some folks thought the glory days of the old west were long gone, but cattle rustler Lone Wilder is back, and being six feet under for more than a hundred years has made him mighty grumpy.


Original Version

Dear Mr. Evil Editor,

Lone Wilder emerges from thirteen years of self-imposed isolation [When your name is "Lone," you're pretty much doomed to isolation, self-imposed or not.] to enter into the secretive and unregulated agency, the New Technology Testing Center. He learns that a time-traveling fiend called Dracula is responsible for the deaths of his parents as well as other atrocities throughout time. However, this Dracula is not the “vampire” that legend has made him out to be. He is a product of human cloning from ten thousand years in the future and bent on protecting the fate of his society. [Protecting the fate of his society from what? What is the fate of his society?] [Not clear if he's a clone of the original Dracula.] [Is he a vampire in any way? Does he drink blood?] [Wait a minute, Dracula is a character in your book, and your title is some other character? One whose first name is, inexplicably, Lone? Would anyone have gone to the new Sherlock Holmes movie if it were titled Lord Blackwood? What's a better title, Mary or Bride of Frankenstein?]

The NTTC discovers Dracula in his mountain hideaway [The guy travels 10,000 years to the past and then hides away in a mountain? Shouldn't he be doing something?] and launches an attack against him. Lone, thinking that he can do better than the NTTC agents, defies orders and faces off against Dracula. When Lone realizes that he is no match for the creature, one of the NTTC scientists snatches him from certain death using an untested technology which alters Lone’s genetic code. Finding himself suddenly empowered with certain extraordinary abilities such as superior strength and speed, Lone now has not only the will to destroy Dracula but also the means.

When Dracula escapes to 1942 Germany in the hopes of joining forces with Hitler, [Now that's refreshing. A time traveler who isn't trying to kill Hitler.] [Suggested title: Dracula Versus Hitler. You'll have to change the plot so Dracula and Hitler are enemies, but it's worth it for that title. Also, I recommend editing Lone Wilder out of the book.] Ablikin, the mysterious and elusive head of the NTTC, sends Lone after him using the transportation technology discovered in Roswell, New Mexico. [How convenient. You're hopelessly outmatched by a villain with time-travel technology from 10,000 years in the future, and you happen upon your own time-travel technology.] [How do they know what year Dracula went to? How do they know he time traveled rather than became invisible?] During his journey, Lone realizes that his presence is a bigger part of history than he could have imagined. [Especially if he somehow manages to kill Hitler. It was too much to hope that no one would try to kill Hitler.] Finding himself now trapped in the past, Lone uncovers Ablikin’s startling secret.

LONE WILDER is a tale of adventure complete at 109,000 words. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your ridicule and harsh comments (as well as those of the minnions!)

Sincerely,


Notes

We need to know how your Dracula is related to the Dracula.

A fiend who travels through history committing atrocities should have better things to do than kill Lone Wilder's parents. Wait, did he kill Lone Wilder's parents so Lone Wilder would never exist because he knew Lone Wilder would one day be responsible for his demise, and because he found the name "Lone" highly annoying, only he got the date wrong and Lone had already been born? It's always better to go after the grandparents than the parents. You don't have to be as accurate with your time travel.

If you insist on naming the guy Lone, I suggest that after he gains his super powers, he take on a cool superhero name like Time Man or Superguy.