Guess the Plot
1. Tyler Azrael knows the deadly secret of Anne Baskerville, the matinee idol who made her fortune in her lingerie, but he will never reveal what it is --unless hypnotized by a particular bit of music -- the tune that makes all Azraels talk, thanks to a curse laid on them in 1244 by a wand-waving schoolmaster. Tyler is flattered when Anne's beautiful nemesis, Jane Durong, challenges him to a game of musical chairs -- but danger lurks!
2. As Viggo the Terrible closes in on tiny Waldidge Castle, the family curse of the Queen's secret paramour, Azrael Linguini, causes him to disclose his position with an unfortunate fart and he is nearly smote asunder by Viggo's minions, who decide to take him prisoner and torture him until he reveals the whereabouts of the tiny Prince. Will another gaseous emission overpower the torture mistress and save Azrael?
3. When Hagai comes into possession of a stone that was once owned by the legendary pirate Azrael--a stone that can tell the future--he wonders if it's more trouble than it's worth, especially when Sam the Sky Sailor decides he wants the stone for himself. Sam manages to steal the stone, which annoys Hagai, so he offers to join Sam's crew, which Sam agrees to. Can these two possibly learn to work together with air pirates and the police chasing them?
4. Amos Azrael cannot tell a lie, thanks to the curse of a witch he cheated on in 1734. This would be bad in ordinary times, but when he realizes the only way to save England from a zombie horde is to get Queen Victoria to marry their leader, it makes his task impossible. Will Wales fall next? Or Scotland?
5. When Dr. Watson warned accountant Belinda Jameson her warts were Azrael's Curse and she must soak in healing waters spewed by the lost Rimbimala geyser, or be blemished forever -- she tried plastic surgery. Too bad it didn't work. Now she's studying antique maps of Amazonia and preparing to embark into wildest Ecuador. Will she ever find that geyser? Or will she vanquish a drug cartel, tame a screaming monkey, and marry Arturo, the suavest guide in the Andes?
6. The Prince of Darkness stubs his toe on the bedstead one night and curses half the world's population to continually re-enact the musical "Pump Boys and Dinettes." Can Sister Theresa the Novitiate pray the world back to sanity or will half the human race die in second-rate musical production numbers?
Dear Evil Editor:
Hagai's mother died eighteen years ago – or so he thought, until he receives a package bearing her signature. The package contains a stone capable of telling the future
and sets him on a journey he never thought he'd take, facing sky sailors and air pirates who want the stone for themselves. [Gimme that rock. I trust it to know what's going to happen in the future.] He can't let the sky'lers have it, but wishes he could when he's just about crushed by an airship, almost beaten to death by pirates, and nearly knifed by a wanted sky'ler named Sam Draper – and that's only the first day. [Did the rock tell him any of this stuff was gonna happen? Because if not, I'd happily hand it over to Draper.]
When Sam nicks the stone from him, Hagai does the bravest thing he's ever done: he demands it back. [When your enemy is holding a rock, it's seldom a good idea to demand that he give it to you.] Sam refuses, of course, but Hagai surprises them both by asking to fly with Sam. For reasons of his own, Sam agrees. Now Hagai, who grew up wanting nothing to do with sky'lers, is crew to one and fugitive from both pirates and police. He won't give up until he finds his mother… if she's still alive. [He just received a package from her. Either she didn't die eighteen years ago . . . or the postal service in this place needs a serious upgrade.]
Azrael's Curse is a 110,000-word work of science fiction, available on request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
[Note on the title: The stone, which seems to bring more trouble than help, was once the property of the legendary air pirate Azrael. Both Azrael and the stone mysteriously disappeared about four years before the story begins.]
Something about the tone/content makes it seem like a book for kids. Maybe you should work in the where and when and Hagai's current age and some higher-level-of-sophistication plot point. Like, what's the bad part about Sam knowing the future? Does he want to rule the world?