I was closing the office early in preparation for my weekend trip to a major romance writers convention. I don't actually handle romance, but romance conventions are 98 percent women, so that pretty much settles that. Anyway, I had just cleared my desk and tossed the day's slush in the trash (unopened) when he walked in. Or should I say when I walked in? The guy looked just like me, except not quite as handsome. Also he was pointing a gun at me.
"I'm replacing you," he said.
"I look just like you, except a little more handsome. But I've never amounted to anything, and why should I work at making something of myself when I can just take over for you? It's not like you've done anything to warrant your fame."
"So you're gonna kill me?"
"No, I want you alive to witness how much more successful you are when I'm running the show. My hired goons will hold you captive indefinitely."
"But if I don't show up at a certain writers convention this weekend, people will know I've been kidnapped."
"Then I guess you better hand over your plane ticket and the confirmation number for your hotel reservation."
I did as he said, and he called in his goons to take me away. I wasn't worried. No mere mortal had any chance of surviving what this poor schmuck was about to go through.