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Guess the Plot

Crown and Thorn

1. A history of the trappings of royalty throughout the ages with photos and illustrations of ceremonies, religious/mystical effects, and the methods of getting the blood/squiggly bits out after a violent change in leadership.

2. Heroes Crown and Throne have been on the scene for years. Yet only their sidekicks, Tiara and Stool, know the trouble brewing behind the scenes. as  they try to keep their mentors in line.

3. Taji rebel Imek Kirshya expects to be executed by the Menahi, but if she can just get out of her chains and cage and get an audience with the king, maybe he'll forgive her and let her resume her rebellion.

4.When the crown of thorns Jesus wore as he went to his first death comes up for auction at Sotheby's, speculation is rampant: will it go to the highest bidder, or the most humble?

Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

A rebellion can be just and it can be brave–but when the other side has more men, cannons, and food, bravery and a just cause aren’t enough to win the war. In chains and entering the Menahi capital as a trophy of war, Taji rebel Imek Kirshya knows it all too well. Her only remaining goal is to die with dignity like her father and her grandfather before her; that way she won’t shame the hidden remnants of her army, who she can feel scrying on her from the mountains to see her fate.

Imek would prefer that they get it over with and behead her already, even if the king is feeling particularly vindictive and decides to also have her dismembered afterwards. Instead, she’s thrown in a cage for public display during the victory celebrations–and curiously enough, some Menahis are taking that as a chance [using that opportunity] to talk to her. There seems to be a political faction that isn’t particularly satisfied [on board] with their nation’s treatment of Taj, and it’s connected with the very man who led the army against her [Imek], Duke Adar Ben-Aiah. They find her presence useful, and at least one of them apparently thinks there['s] might be a better option than executing her.

Imek may not have been able to win [won] independence for her people–but maybe, if she can endure, if she can figure out who to trust, and if she can find a way to balance her personal feelings with her duty, she can seize [might find] opportunities that will [to] give Taj some degree of parity with Menah. And maybe, just maybe, giving up everything for her country will mean finding her own peace, not sacrificing it.

Crown and Throne is a soft magic fantasy novel written tactfully but dealing with mature topics. [Who has magical powers, and what can they use them for?] Inspired by the stories of rebels like William Wallace, Padraig Pearse, and Boudica, it also echoes the difficult balance of desire and responsibility in Intisar Khananai's Thorn, the complex court politics of Megan Whalen Turner’s “The Queen’s Thief” series, and the themes of dignity in captivity of Robin McKinley’s The Blue Sword. It is complete at 112,000 words and has the possibility of a sequel following the perspective of a secondary character. [Two inspirational rebels and two comps would be more than enough.] 

I am a middle school English teacher who spent over half a decade teaching ESL in the Middle East. This is my first novel.

Notes

When you're in chains and thrown into a cage for public view, trying to balance your personal feelings with your duty probably isn't on the top of your to-do list.

I think this reads better if you lose as many of the red words as you can bear to, and that would give you room for a little more of what happens in your book. The Menahi have won the war with Taj, and captured Imek, a rebel leader. At least one Menahi thinks there's a better option than executing Imek. What about the other 111,976 words?

What is this person's other suggested option? Do they help her escape, or convince the king to use her in some way? What's her plan, assuming she's free?