Guess the Plot
A Lie of Omission
1. When Jennifer starts dating Kelley, she fails to say anything about her current engagement status (to 3 men & 1 woman), her current marital status (qualifies as bigamy in most states), and her current number of dependents (6 if you count granny). On the other hand, Kelley fails to tell her he flunked out of college, he's unemployed, and he's not even human.
2. "I had a vasectomy a long time ago." That was all Rob had to say, but he didn't, so Lydia wondered why she wasn't getting pregnant. Was it her fault? Not according to her doctor, and Rob won't get tested. He does, however, try to comfort Lydia by taking her shopping at a big box store.
3. For some time, Sondra has known the date her husband would die, but has never told him. The guilt over that lie of omission has been eating away at her, as she considers herself intensely honest. Would it help or hurt their marriage, she wonders, to tell him the date? And to tell him about the alibi she has carefully planned for that date? And about the gun she has purchased? It's the lying that's tearing her apart.
4. When Pinocchio says his nose will grow, he’s telling the truth. But he’s omitting the part about it growing only when he lies. So does his lie of omission then cause his nose to grow, but in the process thereby turning it into the truth? This and other fairy tale paradoxes guaranteed to make your children's brains ache.
5. Elizabeth has been acting as Queen Regent for 16 years. Now rumors are swirling about the next king to be. As the rumors go wildly out of control, how can she explain to her subjects that there isn't, and never was, an heir?
6. John got laid off from his job two years ago, but has failed to inform his wife, Annie, of this. He's more than replaced his lost income by selling opiates and heroin on street corners. Now that the economy has picked up, John's former boss wants him back. Should John take the offer, even though he's now making twenty times his original salary?
7. Omission realizes she’ll never get published after a literary agent throws a sheaf of papers that is her manuscript in her face and screams "fool!" But when she meets a magical little man who lives under a rainbow, she’ll do anything he says to make her dream come true.
8. Your field guide to dishonesty.
Their relationship of small joys quickly leads to bigger commitments. Unlike his childhood and his first marriage, Lydia is stable and kind. [Unlike his mother and his first wife would be better; you're comparing apples to dead apple trees and aphid-infested orchards.] Rob should tell her about his vasectomy, but he doesn't. He's afraid he'll lose her.
His vasectomy doesn't have to be a big deal, especially because Lydia would adopt before getting science involved. [Sounds like they've had a discussion about children, which apparently went like this:
It fails, but an adoption from South Korea goes through. [Did the doctor declare that the operation failed, or does Rob think it failed because Lydia didn't get pregnant immediately? I ask because my research shows it can take a year for sperm count to get back to normal after a successful reversal.] Rob easily surrenders to the demands of parenting, but as his daughter's sense of displacement as a transracial adoptee grows, his guilt compounds. Even if it's too late for the truth, Rob can't live with his lie. [I hope you mean he kills himself; otherwise it goes:
A LIE OF OMISSION explores how cowardice and shame can shape a marriage and a family over two decades. A wry take on the compromises of partnership and parenting, A LIE OF OMISSION will appeal to fans of Taffy Brodesser-Akner's Fleishman Is in Trouble. Exploring transnational adoption and what goes unsaid in a seemingly strong marriage, A LIE OF OMISSION brings together elements of The Fourth Child by Jessica Winter and the film May December.
A bit about me: I live in Denver, Colorado with my husband and young children. My short stories have been featured in the Columbia Review, Fiction Southeast, and the Changing Denver Podcast. I am also an active member of Lighthouse Writers Workshop, a writing non-profit in Denver, where I held an artist salon for many years.
3 comments:
Hi author, congratulations on finishing your book. You need to include the completed word count with the other housekeeping info.
I'm not sure how much of this is setup and how much a part of the actual story. As EE demonstrated, most of it can be condensed into 1 para so more story progress can be included.
Is the adoption happening in chapter 2 or closer to the midpoint? More of the conflict caused by his daughter's sense of displacement might help. And is he somehow convinced it would have been better for her if someone else had adopted her? Would that have happened in her birth country so not the same issues or would he himself simply not have to feel guilty about it?
If Rob comes to a crisis point where he's thinking about suicide, you might want to explicitly say so, and give a few more details about what final straw tips him over the brink.
It's generally recommended to have only book titles among your comps. What seems to be looked at there is that people will buy your book because they bought other books that are similar in the ways you specified. People who went to see a film are not guaranteed to be in that category, so you might want to leave the film title off.
Hope this helps,
good luck
Thanks for this Evil Editor and Anonymous. I'm definitely struggling to balance the science-y details of the book with pitching the book. For what it's worth, Rob's doctor told him his reversal didn't work a few weeks after the procedure--I think EE's research is in the case of a successful reversal--and Lydia, who has volunteered at orphanages in South Korea, is adamant about not getting any testing done. The adoption happens midpoint in the book, so I'm hesitant to get too into the daughter's sense of displacement in the query. Basically, the plot of the book is a happy relationship with a lie at the center. Rob is the narrator, and somehow is likable, despite all the lying. It's kind of a hang-out book, which makes it hard to pitch. Also, the inciting incident is, admittedly, absurd.
Hello fellow writer! You have some impressive credentials.
I think this story would be better from Lydia’s POV because…
The men I’ve met and heard of who’ve had vasectomies are never quiet about them. Everyone they know is aware of their vasectomy, even if they’re only thinking of having one. Also, this is something men often reveal in the first few dates, so I’m not buying that Rob would be quiet about this. Men are hardly ashamed of this procedure.
This feels more like a short story than a novel. I think it would work way better as a novel if it was told from Lydia’s POV. She could be a woman in her late thirties/forties who suddenly wants a child and is struggling to find the right man. Rob could be her hero, but does he want to be? Lydia’s clock is ticking as she waits for Rob to man up. You could also throw in some family drama: Lydia’s mom keeps reminding her she’s childless and pushing 40 and Lydia’s sister is happily married with six kids.
Here’s a story suggestion that has more of a romance angle:
Lydia has always been on the fence about having kids. She loves the freedom of blowing money at her favorite big-box stores and binging on all the pizza and hot dogs therein. But when she meets Ron, a man who complements her in every way, he makes her want to start that family she never had. Problem is, Ron had a vasectomy years ago and isn’t sure he wants to reverse it.
Lydia and Ron are perfect for each other, and Ron sure knows how to treat a lady. He buys Lydia whatever she wants and more at Costco, Walmart, and Lowe’s. They’re even planning a trip to Sweden this summer to see the IKEA Museum. The man is loaded with love and affection for Lydia, but he still isn’t sure he wants kids.
When Lydia has a panic attack in the middle of Home Depot on her 40th birthday, Rob speeds her to the hospital, terrified of losing the woman he loves. And when Lydia confesses that her panic attack happened because she’s 40 and definitely wants kids, Ron goes quiet. Will he leave Lydia alone in the hospital or agree to reverse his vasectomy and tie the knot?
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