Thursday, March 08, 2012
Guess the Plot
1. In this, the second volume of my epic trilogy about adolescence, I move on to high school. Don't miss my first book about junior high, "Inferno," and my third book about college, "Paradise."
2. When his brother Joey dies, Clayton gets his girlfriend pregnant. The plan is for Joey's soul to wait in purgatory for nine months and then move into the baby.
3. A zombie's memoirs of the time between then and now.
4. When alternative medicine enthusiast Anna Manion opens up Purgatory, her new colonics salon, her first customer is the shy but handsome Max Maxwell. Love blossoms in the unlikeliest of settings.
5. An attention-starved, cross-dressing zombie yearns to be human again, but to purge himself of his curse, he must convince the local pastor to let him enter purgatory. Will he agree to give up his tutu and heels?
6. The devil is struggles to get out of hell and into purgatory. He hopes to atone for his sins and make it back to heaven. But Jezebel has other plans...
Dear Evil Editor,
When an armed robbery takes the life of six-year-old Joey Stockton and critically injures his older brother, Clayton. [Um...] He struggles to find meaning in life while continuing to deal with the absence of his father, who he lost earlier to cancer. [Ah, I get it. I was complaining about too-long sentences recently, and you didn't want me complaining about your too-long sentence, so you stuck a period in the middle of your too-long sentence, thinking that made it into two just-right sentences. Might have worked if you'd changed "and" to "it."] He is a self-proclaimed agnostic but struggles to find closure of his little brother’s ill-timed murder. [You've gone adjective crazy.
1. Pretty much anyone's religious beliefs are "self-proclaimed."
2. Of course Joey's his "little" brother. Joey was 6, and Clayton's already been described as the older brother.
3. As for "ill-timed," is the murder of a six-year-old kid ever not ill-timed? I hope no one would console the parent of a recently murdered child by saying, Hey, at least it was good timing.]
Clayton, only eighteen years old, succumbs to the early stages of depression caused by the loss of his brother and father. He turns to drugs and alcohol for immediate ecstasy but constantly longs for the bond his family once had. It isn’t until after piecing together unexplainable mysteries correlating with Joey’s afterlife, [What does that mean?] that he figures out the love he yearns for, [no comma] can be recreated with his girlfriend Brittney. [There's something wrong with an eighteen-year-old boy who hasn't long ago figured out that his girlfriend can provide the "love" he yearns for.] With Joey’s reincarnated soul needing a host, and Clayton and Brittney’s baby [Whoa. They have a baby?] needing a soul –the reincarnation system God relies on can detect the chemistry between the brothers, but lacking emotional ties, it bypasses the conflict of interest that could wreak havoc on humanity. [The system sounds soulless. Lemme see if I've got this straight. God set up a detection system that determines who gets which soul, and one wrong step by the system would wreak havoc on humanity, but the system has a massive glitch?]
PURGATORY is about two worlds secretly coexisting as one, and how the death of a child and his brother’s determination could finally solve life’s most notorious question – what really happens after we die? I would love to send you my YA/urban fantasy manuscript, PURGATORY, which is complete at 84,000 words. PURGATORY is a standalone novel with recommended series potential.
You make it sound like the soul transfer works out because the reincarnation system lacks emotional ties. A better idea would be for Clayton to somehow beat the system in order to get his brother's soul into his child. As far as I can tell, Clayton doesn't do anything. He needs to actively participate in getting what he wants.
Does the reincarnation system take into account the fact that a lot more people are born than die? When the population of the planet was 100,000, were there seven billion other souls hanging around waiting for the day when the population would be seven billion? If not, and souls are provided by deaths, there aren't enough to go around.
Those who believe in the soul probably like to think their souls are amalgams of their parents' souls, not a metaphorical junker chosen by a computer from a used car lot in Albania.
Does Brittney mind that she had no input into her kid's soul? How will Clayton know whether the baby has Joey's soul? Is Clayton going to one day tell his child that he/she has Joey's soul?
The first half of the query sounds like literary fiction. Then it seems to become inspirational. Urban fantasy wasn't on my list. Unless . . . Is Brittney a demon hunter?