The small crowd applauded at the previous answer, the contestant sat with the others, all pretty, all done to the nines. Make-up just so, dresses all alike, smiles fixed on with Vaseline petroleum jelly.
“And now we'll hear from Miss Des Moine, Jennifer Haynes.”
Jennifer Haines walked up in stairs and to the microphone. She looked to the audience, her smile as in place as her brown hair.
“Distinguished judges, ladies and gentlemen. If I could be anyone in history, I would be Adolf Hitler.” The audience sucked its collective breath. “I don't think I could be as smart as Cicero, as courageous as Winston Churchill, or, alas, as honest as George Washington. But I would also not be as evil as Hitler, I could stand and say no to the things he did. I could turn away from wrong. And if the world seems to lack heroes, maybe it needs to start with people who will just say no to doing wrong.”
The applause was more than polite, it was stunned polite. People were out of sync, starting way too early or way to late, and sometimes starting, stopping, and starting again.
“Did you get that? Did you get that?”
“It's not like a war or sporting event, I point the camera and it gets all the action. Jeez, Jekkie, like I don't know what I'm doing.”
“It's not like that, Henry. I'm going to lead with this, tonight. It's gold.”
"I'll admit it was refreshingly original," Henry said. "But no one will care unless she wins."
"She'll win. The parade of Abe Lincoln and Sarah Palin wannabes was putting everyone to sleep."
The contestant had returned to her seat and Miss Cedar Rapids had moved to the microphone. "If I could be anyone in history," she said, "I would be Osama bin Laden."
Jekkie's mouth hung open. "You gotta admit one thing, Henry," he said. "For once the Miss Teen Jewish Princess of Iowa Contest is worth covering."
Opening: D Jason Cooper.....Continuation: EE/Anon.