2009 Guess the Plot Awards

It would be too much work to choose the best individual Guess the Plots, so we honor the best complete sets.


3rd Place

The Lesser Species

1. Cows have had enough. It's time to knock humans to the bottom of the food chain.

2. Aliens land on earth and refuse to communicate with humans. Strange gases start coming out of their ships, killing any human who comes near them. One scientist realizes the chemicals in the gas are pesticides, and the aliens are carrying tanks full of the stuff to rid the Earth of . . . The Lesser Species.

3. A man is abducted from Earth by the Galactic Council and put into a zoo with other lesser species. He escapes and rigs the next election so that he becomes Galactic President. But once in power he realizes he'd just as soon have a plate of nachos.

4. Dogs vs. Cats. The final war that will end the debate once and for all.

5. Christof flexed his legs. It was time for the revolution. His army's carapaces gleamed. He was proud of them. So began his war against the lesser species. One day the Earth would again belong to Christof, king of the cockroaches.

6. Biologist Harold Carter is obsessed with the reproduction of the monotremes. He's spent decades in Australia, studying. Meanwhile his wife and children grow increasingly distant. Will he return to soul-crushing suburbia, or stay in Australia with his beloved platypi?


2nd Place

N

1. One man's struggle with Narcolepsy, and the challenge of staying awake long enough to finish a book about it.

2. Tired of being called a heartless bastard, a teenager leaves the Earth and crosses the galaxy accompanied by her spineless navigator Nigel, A.K.A. . . . N.

3. The letter pinned to the starlet's bikini said only "N." For Zack Martinez, homicide detective, this meant one thing: those first thirteen murders were related.

4. With a brutal serial killer holding him hostage and his life depending on a game, it's not the best time for Mason to discover he lost some of the Scrabble tiles.

5. Zorro II sets off on an epic journey to find an optometrist who's not afraid of a man with a sword. Turns out she's hot, too.

6. Q has gone missing and N is running the show with agents Orange and 013. Can they foil a plot to assassinate the PM?



1st Place

Don't Forget the Death Ray

1. A team of astronauts arrive in a new world, only to discover the atmosphere is full of poppy-gas that adversely affects their cognition and makes them vulnerable to kidnap by flying monkeys, green women, and singing midgets.

2. The ultimate reference work on how to write comic books. Includes invaluable advice like: Don't put an alien's third eye on the back of his head; Never make a spandex costume pink; and of course . . . Don't Forget the Death Ray.

3. All mad scientist Lysander Schultz wants to do is take over one, maybe two continents so his mother will finally stop complaining he's never accomplished anything. But then Mama Schultz gets wind of the plot and decides her baby boy can't possibly do it without her assistance.

4. What happens to megalomaniacal arch-villains whose powers fade as they enter their golden years and find they can no longer remember exactly what they were going to do with the world once they dominated it? This is the story of a most unusual assisted-care facility where, more often than not, weapons of mass destruction are found in the refrigerator rather than in that tray on the dresser where they belong.

5. Ironic hipster Lance McAllister's blog, "Don't Forget The Death-Ray," is a send-up of science fiction cliches and alien abductions. It's all fun and games--until the Reticulons show up and the anal probes start.

6. Zorpha Qv'naul has had to deal with one too many creeps who think, just because they paid for immersion in the nutrient vats, she should drop her carapace and become brood-host to their natal swarm. So she's written a handbook of practical advice for the single female tentaculoid playing the dating game on Eta Horologii IV.


Past winners may be viewed by clicking the label below.

And for those who wondered, the real plots were
Lesser Species: 3, N: 2, Death Ray: 2