Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Guess the Plot
Heirs of the Collective
1. Justin and Eliot inherit Uncle Norman's priceless Borg memorabilia collection, little knowing that the entire Phoenix Star Trek convention is plotting to steal it.
2. Gordon believes his son Jackson is destined to lead the Collective, but other members of the Collective believe that Collectives don't have leaders; that's the whole point of a Collective. But eliminating Jackson won't be easy, for he has developed secret super powers.
3. When the last hippie of the Love Shack Collective finally dies of old age, he leaves everything to a pair of cats, Sparky and Muffin, two of the worst behaved felines Brenda, the new maid, ever met. What is she to do with these vile creatures? And how can she get their hunky guardian, Brent Wiggins, to go for a roll in the sack?
4. 11-year old Jonah lives with his extended family in an illegal beekeeping collective. When Grandpa Henry suddenly dies, Jonah's relatives struggle for control of the operation. Can Jonah survive the infighting and uncover if his grandfather was murdered, all without exposing the beekeeping to the authorities?
5. The year is 1953. Piotr Nikolaievitch Rusanov and his sister Yulia Nikolaievna have just received a broken-down tractor, four hundred kilogrammes of mildewed grain, and fifteen men's boots, left, size twelve. They are forced to conclude that, back in the days of Tsarist imperialist oppression, will readings were a lot more fun.
6. An orange growth on Holly Bond's bathroom ceiling informs her that it's part of humanity's collective conscious. As she scrubs it off, everyone in a small town in Nebraska loses their memory. Can Holly stay one step ahead of the government agents descending on her quiet town?
Since you are looking to build your list with fantasy and paranormal, you may be interested in my debut novel, Home: Heirs of the Collective (92,745 words). Heirs is part contemporary women’s and part paranormal romance* - the first novel in my Home trilogy. It alternates between the two protagonists’ POV:
Pregnant wife, DABNEY, discovers her divine partner, GORDON, is a future leader in a Santerian Collective that “benevolently” inhabits “disposable” (druggies, homeless, etc.) humans, transforming them into thriving citizens. [I don't know what you mean by "divine," by "Santerian Collective," or by "inhabits."] The multi-ethnic group exists in isolation until their procreation efforts go awry, requiring breeding vessels. [I wouldn't mind knowing what you mean by "go awry."] Dabney’s enlightenment requires living among beings born to maximize and utilize their natural purpose for the good of the Collective. An attack by Gordon’s half-brother on her newly conceived child forces her enlightenment. [What is "enlightenment"? What is the "natural purpose" of the beings Dabney is required to live among?] His plan: co-op the fetus since Gordon vacillated on completing the process, [What is the "process"?] and show Gordon’s deficiency as a leader. Gordon’s plan: realize his, and his son’s, inherited destiny despite growing resistance and facilitate acceptance of the woman whose chi matches his own. [Time out. I need a few moments to close my eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine I'm in a peaceful place...] [Okay, I'm back, but let's take it slow; we don't want anyone's head to explode.] Dabney’s plan: salvage her life and protect her son who vowed, from the womb, to protect her. Dissidents also feel they have a right to the heir. They feel a different call to action than Gordon or the Council [The Council? I don't remember the Borg collective needing a Council. Everyone had equal say in everything.] for the continuity of their race, and have plans to ensure that Gordon loses both his inherited destiny and his son. They don’t factor in something else only Dabney knows: Jackson, the first fully successful hybrid, has advanced abilities. [Is that what makes him fully successful? What were the unsuccessful hybrids like?] The wild card exists in that Jackson formed his own sense of propriety almost from birth. [Head explosion imminent. Roll out the tarp and get a mop.] He, also, clearly, [You've, gone, comma, crazy.] to an unknown degree, shares his father fidelity to the Collective. [Jackson is Dabney's child? I wasn't aware he'd even been born yet, and you're talking about him like he's an adult.] Dabney loves the man she hopes Gordon still is and fiercely loves her son. Gordon loves them both with every molecule of his real self, but pragmatically knows that larger issues sometimes eclipse even extraordinary love.
While the market for steamy and erotic paranormal and romance remains constant, I believe that readers are thirsty, not just for vamps, et al in lust, but for all stories, especially with a love element, that provides escape from the ordinary, the doom and gloom. And they don’t necessarily need non-stop erotica: [At the moment, that's exactly what I need.] witness the many adult readers of Twilight, Evermore, etc. Home novels have enough love scenes to interest readers of erotic romance, but more of the elements that interest the contemporary audience. [I'm not sure whether agents find it insulting, annoying, amusing, or just a waste of space when writers profess to know more about markets than the agents do, and thus must explain all this stuff. Get rid of this whole paragraph.]
My Home series is an *urban fantasy/paranormal meets contemporary romance, in that there is equal emphasis on the relationship/challenges and saving their world. It is essentially a love story that encompasses survival and life changing choices. One that asks whether the good of one seemingly superior group trumps potential harmful impact on another.
A fuller 2-page synopsis and bio follow this letter. The Heirs conflict continues in Home: Escaping Destiny (editing)-synopsis available upon request. I’m completing the third, untitled, installment, and am also toying with a prequel on the Collective’s origins in the Mayan jungle. You can also read additional writing samples at (link deleted)/
I am grateful for your consideration of Heirs of the Collective, and look forward to sending the entire manuscript. I hope the characters I love pique your interest. Thank you.
You make this sound like hard science fiction while calling it romance. The audience for these genres is different. You also seem to imply that contemporary romance is non-stop erotica. The average contemporary romance has two to four love scenes that may be erotic, and surrounding them is an actual plot.
Whattaya mean when you say the Collective inhabits the homeless? All of the Collective? How big is the Collective?
This somehow manages to be too technical while being too vague. Here's what I think your plot may be:
Dabney has given birth to Jackson, the first human/Santerian hybrid and destined to one day lead the Santerian race. Jackson's father, Gordon, a member of the Santerian Collective, is torn between his love for Dabney and Jackson and his loyalty to the Collective. Dissident members of the Collective want Gordon and Jackson out of the way, but they don't know that Jackson has latent super powers. Can Dabney protect her son from the Collective--and possibly his own father--until he develops his powers and reaches his destiny?
I may have it wrong, but the point is that I've attempted not to dumb it down, but to clear it up. Trash the whole thing and focus on the heart of the story.