Why you don't get published.
Unchosen captions:Page 3,541,157,355: ...having deserted my glorious attempts at a new career as a lawyer I determined, as was my want, to seek new life in a publishing endeavor...--Faceless MinionAnd I thought this story had no meat on its bones! --AngieWhoa. When they said 250,000 words, I thought it was for the actual historical novel, not the query for it. --Shosaanna BeaubahnaThis story will literally scare you out of your skin..." Doesn't anyone know what "literally" means?--anon. Man, I've been doing this a long time. --DougLast time I read a spy thriller in Morse code... --woThank you for reading my draft for The Necronomicon 2. If you would like your flesh returned, please sign the enclosed contract. --Faceless MinionI feel almost transformed by this manuscript - Bob Weir's memoirs of playing with the Grateful Dead. --VoterDammit, I put the laser specs on backwards again. --Rick DaleyNo, I'm OK," I said. "I'll eat once I'm through working on this fantasy trilogy," I said... --Steve WrightMrs. V, can you get me another coffee? No, I'm still not through War & Peace & Zombies. --StacyLook, Doc, there's nothing in this policy says this isn't covered. --anon.
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