Once upon a time on West Roxbury Main Street, a well-dressed businessman driving a fancy red car while giving his children gobs of candy came darn near close to squishing Chipping Camden to death.
Chipping Camden, being West Roxbury’s fattest and loudest mouse, screamed a thunderous scream and rolled all over the sidewalk on his beachball-shaped belly.
“I’m injured! I’m injured!” cried the pudgy mouse, holding up his flattened tail.
“He’s injured! He’s injured!” cried the sticky children, pointing at the mouse’s tail.
“Ssshhh! Ssshhh!” cried the fancy businessman, rubbing mouse fur off his right front tire.
Crowds gathered and fingers wagged. Somebody calling himself Mister Esquire came dashing over with a mouse-sized wooden cane. The businessman had to escape from the embarrassment of it all.
“I’ll make you a deal,” the businessman whispered to the mouse. “If you stop crying and screaming, I’ll give you this map I bought yesterday. It says it’s magical.”
Mr. Esquire ran up to Chipping, huffing mouse-sized huffs and puffing mouse-sized puffs. “Take no deal from an obviously dangerous and careless citizen without first consulting a personal injury lawyer.” Mr. Esquire looked at the businessman's clothing and jewelry and nearly had an embolism. “I see you're very seriously injured,” Mr. Esquire said to Chipping, whacking him in the knee with his cane.
“I'm in chapter 7 bankruptcy,” said the businessman.
“I see,” said Mr. Esquire. "Hmm. How much damage do you think this vandal did to your car?”
Opening: Chris Eldin.....Continuation: Bill H.