Why you don't get published.
/me falls over laughing.That works very well, EE. And it'll save tal a lot of trouble, too!
Can we list her characteristics as in the Amelia Pettipants thing last year? It is still hilarious reading, even though we never did anything with it. Maybe Mrs. V is Miss Pettipants' long-lost cousin.
It appears Mrs. Varmighan is naked. I guess you know her better than I thought I did...
lol.Really, that's all I can say, because I'm still laughing.Yay for Mrs. V!
And with the help of Mrs. Varmighan, I can now dedicate myself entirely to captions that make no earthly sense at all.
Or is it kiersten who'll be saved the trouble?Forgive me, minions, if I can't always tell you apart :).
Oooh, I second what ril said. Let the nutsy captions commence, please.EE, I love what you did with her peaking through the hole. (Although I feel strongly she should have an old lady high-necked blouse on, though.)
That's okay, Buffy, you are a squirrel, after all. Humans probably all look the same to you.For the record, I've only ever been confused by the infamous Depends caption.I may have pretended to be confused on several others, simply because I like EE's explanations even more than the captions sometimes.And I don't know, Robin, I'm thinking Mrs. V's not a prude. She does have EE living in her attic, after all.
(Although I feel strongly she should have an old lady high-necked blouse on, though.)Sorry, I am not giving up my blouse.
Alright, I confess to more than the usual level of ignorance here. Who is Mrs. V., and what entitles her to make sense of a senseless world?
Mrs. Varmighan is obviously married to a man who is the offspring of a varmint and a ptarmigan. Would this be EE's long-lost good twin?
You're going to explain humor because someone doesn't "get" the joke? Surely you jest. Why, I'm shocked. Are you serious? Well, let me rephrase that, why would a joke be funnier after an explanation than before explanation? Or is it perhaps a second joke on the humorless that they will not find the explanation convincing and require additional input? Is that the inconstant and consistently humorless are in fact are mere beings that resemble the beasts who repeat themselves predictably? (Yes, virginia, there is a joke there.) How does this work, Mrs V (I think that stands for vermiform appendix and that her real name is Olive Oil's sister. She's the one who didn't get Popeye.) takes a frame to explain the joke to the one person doesn't understand the cartoon?Do the unfortnates get second and third chances like some wildly errant knights on fast-food eating binges at fast-food preparing buffets, gorging themselves like the great Niagara on endless, unappreciated wit?IS this the judgement of Paris? The Curse of Sisyphus? Or merely the whelp of runted dingoes turned werebeast?
Better make a Mrs. V caption to explain the Mrs. V captions, EE.
Hey you all, I know Mrs. V's not a prude. I'm just not all that thrilled with EE having a naked beehived woman in the house with him.
uly, see cartoon 102! I can barely get that out because I am still laughing at this whole Mrs. V (nekkid in my book) thing. I almost commented overthere*, but I much prefer to respond with overwhelming enthusiasm for the whole idea! Drag her out to correct the cartoon when necessary. Although I did appreciate Dave's question:Do the unfortnates get second and third chances like some wildly errant knights on fast-food eating binges at fast-food preparing buffets, gorging themselves like the great Niagara on endless, unappreciated wit?But that's for EE? eh??*per the actual cartoon in question, I was stuck on how EE (by himself) could be an infestation. I think it would need no explanation (with or without Mrs. V) if there were a bunch of evil-headed minions (maybe in a mole heap?)around or on the desk.ME
You know how to use paint now, Robin. Just draw in a pink beehive to your picture and taa-daa! you'll be happy and all of the other minions will be jealous of you once again.
I think "Mrs Varmighan Explains..." could be fun in many different ways -- not just the cartoon captions. She could help out with explaining the underlying message in facelift humor, key technical points in Q&A's, etc. I like it.
Me, too. I really like her - love her name. Mrs. V.The Subtleties and Subtext Queen.
I second ril's proposal, and further suggest you incorporate some kind of Flash/Java/thingy so that when you mouse over a joke, Mrs. V slides out from the side of the screen with her explanation.
Please Julie: Give up your blouse.~I've already done that once. Granted it was to save a life. He said his friend would bleed to death without something to use as a tourniquet. I, being a kindly sort, gave him my lovely, high-necked blouse with lavender lace at the throat.Another friend stayed with me while I stood there bare except for my Abigail's Secrets and Sachet's support garment that lifts and separates, while adding womanly curves and protection. Also available with matching chastity belt, but I don't recommend that as the lock tends to rust and WD 40 just.... Well, I don't recommend the chastity belt, but the chastity bra is nice.Anyway, I've already donated one high-necked blouse for a good cause.
Yeah! And the longer it takes you to "get it", the more of Mrs. V. is revealed.
We need her.
ril, I don't get it.*pulls out camera*
Yeah, Mrs. V is queen of the obvious. She can pop out whenever anyone just isn't getting the point or to explain the (obvious) point underlying a little EE humor.
LOL!!!!Just use Kiersten's photo. Especially with her current pose. It looks like there would be an explanatory speech bubble next to her photo! HAHAHAHAAAnd we'll still call her Mrs. V.:-)
Moles aren't an infestation, they are a VISITATION!!! (as in announced by an angelic choir, etc.)If you need an infestation, zombie meerkats© are available at reasonable rates.
Trees, on the other hand, are individuals!
Oooh, yesah- I second third and fourth ril, myself and BT.Cause this opens up so many wild caption options for ril, BT, and Whirl, and others. Oh yeah.
perceptive, that woman! ;) lol
I love this! But I pictured Mrs. V. as being a little more modest. Is she a closet exhibitionist? (Or is that an oxymoron?)
OMG what a can of worms this question has opened! Are you sure you want to venture into flash/java/appletts and whatnot to have moving imagery on the cartoons? I mean, EE, you do have a real job, too, don't you?
This IS EE's real job!
Wow, Chris. I'm pretty sure I don't want that dubious honor. I picture Mrs. V as a forty-something chain smoker, too thin and with a strong New Jersey accent. Also, by the afternoon she is always a little tipsy.I don't really fit the bill.
Also, I like to find a nice middle ground between high-necked blouses and nothing. I look good in neither.
::Quickly revises image of Kiersten based on new data::
This illustrates exactly why we need someone to explain the cartoons, or at least I do. See, I thought the woman was confusing the kid on the left with the real Dracula, and that Evil Editor had, umm ... oh wait, I get it.
By the way, is there any potential for a future cartoon caption book from Evil Editor Pubs or is color too expensive to ever print for a price that any of us would ever pay?
Writing Exercise: In 300 words or less, explain what happened to MR.Varmighan.
My guess is it would cost 15 to 20 dollars in small quantity (about 100 copies). I mentioned this a while back, and several people felt it would be better to use cartoons as filler in a new volume of Why You Don't Get Published. The trouble with that being there would be far fewer cartoons and none in color. I haven't given up on the idea yet, as I would like a book containing, say the funniest 100 or so.
Print it in B&W and ship it with a box of crayola. Fun for all the family.
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