Sunday, January 27, 2008

Fake Query 6

Where do souls go when they aren't good enough for heaven, nor bad enough for hell? Deed, Montana. Trevor Montgomery just woke up in Deed, and he is about to begin the adventure of his after-life. (Friends in Deed)


Trevor Montgomery is, errr . . . was, a fifteen-year-old kid who recently got smashed by the tail end of Mr. Herbert’s pick-up truck.

The town didn’t blame Mr. Herbert for killing the irksome lad. Instead, they made him a hero and bought him a new truck. Trevor, on the other hand, received a variety of floral arrangements from Mrs. Herbert’s garden, a couple of Hail Mary’s, and a blanket of North Carolina’s finest soil.

When Trevor’s ghostly self appears next to a sign that reads Deed, Montana, he is surprised but makes the best of things. Trevor always wanted to be an invisible prankster. He doesn’t know that by terrorizing the kids at Deed Middle School, he’s poaching on some other ghost’s territory.

The two warring ghosts cannot see each other. Yet, they creatively battle for the screams of Deed Middle.

When the other ghost takes the pranks too far, Trevor must decide between protecting the kids at Deed Middle school or going back to North Carolina.

Church Lady

8 comments:

Robin S. said...

Cool, CL. Write it!

pjd said...

Nice take on the fake plot, and I especially like the opening paragraph of the query.

Sarah said...

This is another good one! You fleshed out the plot really nicely.

Phoenix said...

CL, I think if you and "Ghost Boy" Mckoala teamed up on this one, you'd have a real, hands-down winner. I'll go pjd one better (hah, see if you cut MY character again, pjd) and say how much I loved paragraphs 1 AND 2.

Khazar-khum said...

If Trevor was a jerk, but undergoes a real change of heart as he sees the others kids' suffering, you could have a Middle Grade success.

Or not.

ME said...

Although this did remind me a little of "Highlander", I really enjoyed the plot development as presented and this is another one I might try to match up the Fake #Fake progression.

"Trevor, on the other hand, received a variety of floral arrangements from Mrs. Herbert’s garden, a couple of Hail Mary’s, and a blanket of North Carolina’s finest soil."

That line got me in and kept me reading. I guess I am not paying attention because I just got that Trevor is "deed" not "dead"!

Church Lady said...

Thanks!
I was so happy to get this GTP. I wasn't a minion back then.
I might actually give this a try....

who cares what my fake name is said...

Good job. You have given the idea some real depth. I think it would make a great book.