Sunday, December 07, 2014


Turns out the query for this title was sent not to Evil Editor the cartoon character, but to EE's scribe, and thus is not available for critique. But rather than waste the fake plots that came in while the title was in the query queue, here they are, along with the real one.

Guess the Plot

Alien Love

1. Just when Hilda Newburger thought she had tried all the dating websites -- with no success -- she finds one promising her love that's "out of this world." Unfortunately, she learns that under their handsome green skin, Martian men are just the same as Earth men: all they really want is to probe Uranus. 

2. Humans do not even understand other humans. Is it possible for them to understand a true alien female, no matter how alluring? Ex-SEAL Jack Starling seeks the answer to this question in his journey of self-discovery, and to others such as How come I never realized my father was an extraterrestrial?

3. Shelia thought they would be together as one--forever. That was, until she discovered her alien parts were the same as her boyfriend's. The Supreme Court can't decide which way to go, and Shelia cringes everytime she sees a local waste removal truck's advertising logo, '1-555-Got-Junk?' Halarity ensues.

4. Anna dated a vampire but found him too sparkly. She married a werewolf but the monthly moulting drove her to distraction. The angel she had a fling with was more interested in picking mites out of his feathers than in spending time with her. Perhaps now it’s time for some…Alien Love

5. When the body of NuProg musician Beth Campbell--AKA Alien Love--is found crammed into a mailbox in San Fernando, homicide detective Zack Martinez knows two things. One, she didn't shoot herself in the back before getting in the mailbox, and two, his daughter had better get cracking on her practice for the piano recital on Saturday.

6. Boston blue-blood, Preston Flournoy Wentworth IV lost his fortune in an investment scam. His patrician wife left him, taking the servants and her inheritance. So he hired an illegal Guamanian cook/housekeeper and turned his two century old estate into a bead-and-breakfast. Guilt lead him to resent his remaining employee, but Maria persevered and his resentment turned to admiration and finally to love. Also an angry squirrel.

Fake plots are now needed for the new title in the queue.

The actual plot description for Alien Love is #2.

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