Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Guess the Plot
A Midsummer Night's Fling
1. Vera's young, newly single, and trying to forget her recent break-up from Cord on a Jamaican vacation. At Club Fantastique Vera has many admirers, but will she choose love, or a sure fling? And, how did Cord find her out here?
2. Torrey wants a real girlfriend, but his sights are set on Sheila--cheerleader captain who never dates a boy twice. Love struck, he ambushes Sheila in costumes so she never figures out it's him. But what happens when she falls for his gangsta rap persona? Also, angsty teen musings.
3. Nicola wins the role of Titania in A Midsummer Night's Dream, only to learn that Oberon is being played by Max, who was great between the sheets during the decade she dated him, but who broke her heart more than once. Will it be true love this time around, or just a summer’s worth of mind-blowing, meaningless sex?
4. Sixty-hour a week, workaholic John Trebuchet hates his neighbors. They party all night and their dog barks all day.The ASPCA investigates when one of the dogs is found--a pile of bones and fur--two blocks away. When PETA shows up at John's door with cans of red paint John wonders if he should have waited till winter to test his catapult.
5. The senior trip is a Caribbean island and Tiffany’s determined to get some strange. She drinks too much with a cute local guy then they walk to the beach. She doesn't show for the return flight. It’s an international scandal. Major networks send film crews and a plethora of detectives descend on the little island. Can PI Zeke Miller solve the case after everybody else has failed?
6. Woody had warned Tony to stay away from the strange woman who hung around the movie set, but she was too hot to resist. Now she's pregnant and Tony thinks it's his, but was it really her he fondled behind the tree in the dark?
7. A couple of eight-year-olds build a ginormous catapult in the woods and fling their baby sister into orbit. When she returns with photos of mysterious craft orbiting the earth, the kids have to run from the men in black and their outraged parents.
Dear Ms. Agent,
I queried you last year about another project of mine [my novel, Not Quite Good Enough]. You said at that time that you enjoyed my humor and would like to see my next book when it was finished. I am currently seeking an agent for "A Midsummer Night’s Fling," a contemporary romance complete at 100K [I knew "K" was an abbreviation for "thousand"; is it also an abbreviation for "thousand words"?] that should appeal to fans of the wry humor and playful sexiness in the works of Jennifer Crusie, Victoria Dahl, and Shannon Stacey.
After more than a decade of dating the man, [aspiring actress] Nicola Charles knows to stay away from Max Fiesengerke. [I could have told her that the moment I saw that his name was an anagram for "making sex free."] [[I recommend changing "the man" to "him". Then I recommend that "him" and "Max Fingerling" swap places in the sentence.] He’s already broken her heart—twice!—and she’s not dumb enough to go up for [risk number] strike three. [We'll see. I predict that she is dumb enough.] After several years of setbacks as an aspiring actress, she thinks life is finally going her way when she’s cast as Titania in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at a prestigious theater company.
Her luck has turned, but for the worse: Max is playing Oberon. The Titania part is a big break for her, but being in close contact [working] with Max every day is about as bad as being water-boarded every night for fun [torture]. Nicola doesn’t want to fall back into the quagmire of Max’s guarded heart, [Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, TSTL.] [It seems to me that Nicola would be the one with the guarded heart, not Max.] but the chemistry between them, onstage and off, is not to be denied. Max has always been a caring and attentive lover if nothing else, so what could it hurt to use him for a good, old-fashioned summer fling? [Yeah, that'll teach him.]
Max knows he hurt Nicola. Twice. But he can’t get her out of his head. Or stop thinking about what it might be like to steam up the sheets with her again. For old time’s sake. The play throws them together again, and Max is more than happy to volunteer as Nicola’s love slave and offer her a summer’s worth of mind-blowing, meaningless sex. [Max is truly benevolent.]
But is it going to be just another midsummer night’s fling, [Another? They dated for over a decade. If their past consisted only of flings, why was Nicola heartbroken?] or have the two of them finally found what they’ve dreamed of all their lives? True Love. [You've provided no evidence that Max has dreamed of true love all his life.]
In addition to contemporary romances I plan to continue writing SF/F works, and I was recently accepted to the 2013 Viable Paradise writing workshop run by Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden. Under my old pen name E.D. Walker, I had two projects end up with small ePublishers who have since closed down. I currently have one of those books, a YA fantasy novel, self-published on Amazon. I am a member of Romance Writers of America. [I don't think this credits paragraph is doing you any good. If the publishers closed down after e-publishing your novels, those are worth mentioning. I'm sure if St. Martin's closes its doors, Jennifer Crusie will continue to include her novels among her credits.]
Thank you for taking the time to consider my work.
I think we need to know what Max did to break Nicola's heart. If they agreed to just have summer flings, but she eventually wanted more and he didn't, he's less of a jerk than if he left her standing at the altar a couple times. If you can't make us care about Max at all, we aren't going to want to read a book in which he and Nicola end up together. We're going to want to read the book wherein she takes her revenge.