Thursday, July 11, 2013
Guess the Plot
1. A WonDerFul InNoVaTion In The LitErArY ExPeRiEnce In Which EveRy SylLaBle Is CapITalIzed. Thus, ObViAtIng The Age Old QuanDaRy Of When And What To CapITalIze.
2. Zina Casperelli may be a genius, but Newtonian physics isn't enough to save her grandma and take down an ancient evil. So Zina looks into new theories that give her fiery superpowers. But is it too late?
3. She came down from Yellow Mountain, riding her pony Wildfire through the cold Nebraska nights, whirlwinds by her side. But that was 30 years ago, and now she's stuck in a dive bar in Sioux County, listening to her failure of a husband sing that damned song again. Why did she ever think he'd be better than Wildfire?
4. When Quinn Masters, firefighter extraordinaire and chef with a flair for flambe, discovers a charred body in her garage, she totally throws up. But as the bodies begin to mount, Quinn secretly investigates the murders. The more she discovers, the more worried she becomes. Could she be the the serial killer?
5. Mr. Nelson steps out on his cabin's front porch and chokes on ash. The fires raging around his Mt. Charleston community have driven everyone out, and Mr. Nelson is the only one left. Can he get himself and his cat Mr. Peoples out before the fires consume them?
6. Wildfire busted down her stall and was lost in a blizzard on a cold Nebraska night. How she came down from Yellow Mountain in one of the flattest states in America nobody knows. By the dark of the moon crops were planted, and for six nights a hoot-owl drove her lover crazy howling outside his window while he waited for her return. Thank God, a killing frost and a whirlwind killed the damn bird. They’re gonna leave sodbusting behind and get the hard times behind them. But first they need to understand their unnatural relationship between one man and his horse.
Zina Casperelli is a certified genius, but she’s kind of dumb when it comes to cute, luminescent amnesiacs and secret kingdoms of superbeings. Seeking knowledge, truth, and a happy ending for her memory-impaired friend, Julian, Zina’s trust in Newtonian physics is rattled by the secret science developed by her comatose Granma Rosy. When Julian's accused of murdering his parents, her sense of wonder crumbles with the pieces of his story. [Not clear what that means. Could mean crumbles as the pieces of his story crumble or crumbles as she learns the pieces of his story.] Even memories can be illusions, so Zina falls back on her old school science and some light grave-robbery to unearth the truth. [Is light grave-robbery when you rob only shallow graves? Or is it when you rob fewer graves than most people do?] [The first sentence is designed to pique our curiosity with luminescent amnesiacs and superbeings. But I expect what follows to clear things up, and instead it keeps inspiring new questions with a secret science developed by a comatose woman, a murder accusation, grave robbing... The more you pile on, the more likely I am to give up. I'm looking for a story, and if you just give me pieces of a story my sense of wonder crumbles.]
As she learns new theories and discovers the facts behind her Grandma's affliction, Zina finally has hope that she can bring her back. But first she has to uncover the identities of a trio of masked assassins, face a fiery boogieman in the Seattle Underground, and contend with an ancient evil and his creepy crushing.
[Not sure what creepy crushing is, but it sounds more comedic than evil. Maybe it's the alliteration. Reminds of of Crispy Critters cereal. Note that even though there's a lion on the box, the alliterative title makes you smile instead of fear for your life. Look at it this way, which sounds more evil: Rocky Raccoon or Darth Vader? Tony the Tiger or Adolf Hitler? Chimichanga or Taco Bell 7-Layer Burrito Supremo?]
Zina can save her Granma Rosy and heal her broken family, [Is "her" Granma or Zina? The only family that's been described as broken is Julian's.] or she can save her friend Julian and heal the secret kingdom. But even in a world where anything seems possible, Zina can’t do both. [Why not? Proving the masked assassins murdered Julian's parents seems totally unrelated to bringing Rosy out of a coma.]
WildFire is a young adult, super-heroic fantasy adventure, complete in 87,000 words.
[The title comes from the fiery super-powers Zina gets.]
Is Zina like the Human Torch? Fiery superpowers don't strike me as useful in proving Julian didn't murder his parents or curing amnesia or bringing Granma out of a coma.
In what way is Zina's friend Julian "luminescent"? Did he become luminescent when he lost his memory?
The story seems to be Zina's friend Julian loses his memory and her grandma loses consciousness. Zina can't help either of them ... until X happens, giving her fiery superpowers! Now she has hope, but assassins and a boogieman and an ancient evil don't want her to succeed because it'll interfere with their plan to Y. To make matters worse, Zina can use her power only once.
Once you get the plot written out clearly, you can embellish it with intriguing details and voice.