Thursday, June 27, 2013
Guess the Plot
1. Herc is back. And this time it's personal. Also, sirens.
2. Ashton Kuchar knew he had hit the jackpot when he married a god. Sure, she was used up and literally ravaged by Bruce Willis, but Ashton didn't care. Eventually, he'll get Moore than he bargained for.
3. When your father's a god and your mother's a statue, mockery from the other kids comes with the territory. But should you also have to endure man-eating predators, vengeful spirits and vicious spirit slaves. Should you?
4. Oh sure, the nearly unlimited power, endless chicks, devoted worshipers and palatial retreat come with the job. But why, wonders R'Cepier, does he have to have all these yokels on the Internet trying to disprove his existence?
5. Somewhere in Nebraska the new order is rising. Gilgamesh has been reincarnated as a girl. And she's ready to kick ass.
6. Rosamund knows the big head floating over her city telling everyone what to do is a hologram. The mayor's son Zand has been hiding his father's death, and having too much fun. Zand has asked Rosamund to marry him. She is sharpening her sword, and choosing her wedding dress.
Dear Evil Editor,
When the half-human son of an ancient god is born from a headless statue, Cora, a young midwife and Candlemaid of the Temple of Elassa, must give up her simple village life to protect the newborn from the forces that seek to exploit his power.
Cora loved each child she helped bring into the world as if they were her own. [You can avoid using a plural pronoun for a singular noun by changing "each child" to "the children."] But fate had taken away the man she loved, along with her dream of motherhood. [No need to start that sentence with "But."] After the arrival of Rendryck, a mysterious sorcerer, a child is born bearing the markings of a Demigod. Upon learning the man’s sinister plans for the newborn, Cora has no choice but to leave her beloved village to save the child’s life.
Cora must face the dangers of the Feral Wood in order to reach the Sanctuary of Weal, [Isn't this the plot of The Legend of Zelda?] a safe haven south of the forest, all the while being pursued by Rendryck and his vicious spirit slave. She soon learns the Demigod is the son of a long dead malevolent god [If he's long-dead, how did he knock up the headless statue?], but believes she can raise him to use his power responsibly through the teachings of her goddess, Elassa the Benevolent. Throughout her tortuous journey, Cora [the Naive] is tormented by vengeful forest spirits, nightmarish man-eating [demigod-eating] predators and the many gods whose interests have been sparked by the child’s ancestry. But when the follower of an “evil” god saves Cora’s life, she comes to question her faith and the true motives of her own “benevolent” goddess. [Usually when someone saves your life you don't switch to that person's religion. Why is Cora really questioning her faith?] [Also, no need to start that sentence with "But."]
Demigod, a fantasy adventure in the vein of George R. R. Martin [Full name please: George Railroad Martin] and Tad Williams, is the first in a projected series and is complete at approximately 90,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Paragraph 1: must give up her simple village life to protect the newborn
Paragraph 2: has no choice but to leave her beloved village to save the child’s life.
If the entire book consists of the journey to the Sanctuary, then we mainly need to clean up the organization. You want each sentence to follow logically from the previous sentence as you tell us a story.
Now, if the journey is just the setup for the main plot/conflict, we can shorten this to one paragraph, something like:
When a child is born bearing the markings of a demigod, Cora, a young midwife, pledges to protect him from Rendryck, the mysterious sorcerer who seeks to exploit the newborn's power. Cora must get the child through the Feral Wood, with its vengeful spirits and nightmarish predators, to the Sanctuary of Weal, with Rendryck and his vicious spirit slave in hot pursuit.
. . . which leaves plenty of room to tell us what happens at the Sanctuary and what Elassa the Benevolent did to suddenly become Elassa the "benevolent."