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Guess the Plot

The Kings of Aelfren

1. The queens of Nerflea have an unusual hobby - luring their lovers into the secret room behind the mirror and biting off the heads of the men who would dare to woo them. But when those men behind the mirror grow new heads and begin to form an alliance, the queens are in for the fight of their lives. Also, a didactic alligator.

2. Forget primogeniture, the tradition in Aelfren is for omnigeniture, in which all the king's sons become kings themselves. Within ten generations, there are more kings than peasants in Aelfren, and with a far greater sense of entitlement. Let the regicide games begin!

3. A sweeping family saga. Over the course of 300 years, from the days of the Puritans to the Watergate scandal, the King family of Aelfren, New Hampshire, occasionally thinks of doing something or going somewhere but invariably changes its mind.

4. Mitch and Lee were finally going head to head in the match of the century. Althea was the hostess with the mostest, and she made flags with each of the competitors' crests. She loved them both, but she couldn't let them know that fact. With the fate of modern knighthood in her fragile hands, would she finally find her knight in shining armor, or would they both turn out to be university prats?

5. Accused of killing the king of Aelfren, Dunstan of Abrotanum is on the run. Will the new king of Aelfren hunt him down before Dunstan can clear his name and regain his own throne and find out who framed him and take his revenge and save his childhood sweetheart?

6. Okay, it's complicated. Aelfren has two kings, one of whom occupies the throne when Aelfren is at war, and one who occupies the throne when it isn't. The system has worked for centuries, but King Chelron is beginning to suspect that King Lesther is prolonging the war in order to keep the throne. Does a peacetime king have the guts to start a civil war with a warrior king?

Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Dunstan of Abrotanum used to be a prince. Now he is a fugitive, accused of murdering good King Balther of Aelfren. Dunstan is innocent, but his only proof is that someone tried to murder him as well – [If only he had an alibi, like he was in bed with a princess the night of the murder.] and since he fled to escape his assassin, even Dunstan must admit he looks guilty.

In a war-torn empire of quarreling city-states where the three remaining kings play against each other at every turn, Dunstan must find out who is friend and foe – for someone he once trusted is trying to kill him. Is it his fellow prince and childhood friend who seeks more power of his own? [No. It's never the first person on the list of suspects.] Is it his old mentor who struggles to keep the realm together after Balther’s death? [That guy wouldn't hurt a fly.] Is it the cunning princess he accidentally slept with the night of the murder? [Accidentally?

Princess: Was it good for you?

Dunstan: Was what good for-- WTF?!]

Surprisingly, the only person he knows didn’t try to kill him is the one who has every right to want him dead: his traveling companion Kevoca, a warrior maiden whose people have been butchered for centuries by the warriors and kings of Aelfren and who vows to protect him after Dunstan saves her life. [This makes it sound like Dunstan's people have been the butchers, but Dunstan is Abrotanumian and the butchers are Aelfrenians. I know this from the first paragraph, which states that Dunstan of Abrotanum is accused of murdering Balther of Aelfren.]

[Kevoca: I know your people have been butchering my people for centuries, but if you let me be your traveling companion, I'll protect you.

Dunstan: Okay.]

With Kevoca by his side to keep his noble head on his shoulders, Dunstan has three goals. First, clear his name and regain his rightful throne. Second, save Orora, his childhood sweetheart, the daughter of King Balther. [From what?]  Third, find out who framed him and take his revenge – even if it means killing a few kings along the way. [That was five goals. Six if I include killing a few kings.]

THE KINGS OF AELFREN is fantasy, aimed at the crossover between YA and adult. It is my first novel.

Thank you for your consideration.

Notes

Is Aelfren the name of the empire, and the three kings are kings of countries within the empire? Or does the "Kings" in the title refer to past and present kings of one country within the empire?

What's this about Dunstan regaining his rightful throne? What throne is rightfully his? Abrotanum's? Does Abrotanum have a king?

Is any story set in a fictional place considered a fantasy these days? I think of a fantasy as featuring something fantastical: wizards/sorcerers/magic or dragons/monsters or vampires/gods/weredingoes. Does this book have a supernatural aspect?

Is Dunstan aware that Kevoca is the only woman he can be happy with, or does he think Orora is his true love? Orora's the one who tried to kill him. She was hiding in his closet, planning to surprise him the night he "accidentally" slept with the cunning princess.

Evil Editor's rule for those who insist on making lists: no more than one list per query, no more than three items on the list. You can condense the Goals paragraph down to: With Kevoca by his side to keep his noble head on his shoulders, Dunstan vows to clear his name and regain his rightful throne – even if it means killing a few kings along the way.