Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Guess the Plot
1. "Sora Finch. Then I sora pigeon. Then I sora another finch. Then I sora shitload of sparrows." David Beckham takes us on a stroll through some of the world's greatest ornithological spotting grounds, mate.
2. 8-year-old Sora Finch's life has been the same routine of begging and scraping since she can remember. When an old man, Jode, turns up and offers to pay her if she'll learn to read, life gets almost cushy. That is, until Jode is found slaughtered on the dockside and the king's men are looking for her...
3. Ella gets out of Boston for a day, and returns with green skin, an implanted microchip and no memory of what happened. "Sora finch," is all she says, uttering the phrase over and over.
4. Sora Finch lives in a skyscraper community because living on the surface is too dangerous, what with bloodthirsty stray dog-creatures roaming about. Then Sora befriends a captured stray and steals a hovercraft to take him below before her father can kill him, but she crashes and gets captured. Ever have one of those days?
5. Sora's talent on the violin has brought her fame, but her travel schedule keeps her from making any close friends. She'd like to go to high school, but her parents have gotten used to living the high society life--and banking Sora's paychecks. Then Sora meets Charlie. Conflict ensues.
6. Is it a code name? An anagram? A message from beyond? No one's sure, but when the words "sora finch" appear in the sky, panic engulfs the world's population and wars break out across the globe. Hopefully it doesn't turn out to be the name of some fat guy's sled.
Dear Evil Editor:
Born and raised in a skyscraper community 800 feet in the air, thirteen-year-old Sora spends most of her time tumbling along the walkways that connect the eight towers of Cumulus City. Everyone knows not to look down but Sora can't help it. [It seems every super-tall building has an observation deck so people can look down. Why is looking down a bad thing?] She wants a closer look at the blood-thirsty strays (dog-like creatures) that forced society to move to the sky decades ago. [Looking down at dog-like animals from 800 feet up isn't going to provide a close look.]
When her father, a stray hunter, catches one alive, Sora's curiosity leads her to the cage, where she discovers the beauty in the monster she's been taught to fear all her life. As Sora develops a secret friendship with the creature, the scientists decide it is too dangerous to keep alive. The night before the death sentence is carried out, ["It's too dangerous to keep alive . . . But let's not kill it until Thursday."] Sora, with the help of her two best friends, "borrows" a hovercraft and flies the stray out of the community to safety. [Do they let the stray out of the cage, or do they take the cage to the hovercraft?]
When the hovercraft crash [hyphen] lands in the center of a traveling town, [What's a traveling town?] Sora and her friends experience their first taste of the world below. They are immediately held captive [captured] by a boy named Trick, who lives among the strays. Sora convinces the boy that they mean no harm but before Trick will let them go, Sora must help with his mission, a mission that will pull her back into the sky, where she will confront her disapproving father [His daughter freed a bloodthirsty creature and stole and crashed a hovercraft, and he "disapproves"?] and discover the power that lies within her compassion.
Sora Finch is a middle-grade fantasy complete at 40,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Human befriends creature. It's a time-tested plot, from Frankenstein to Beauty and the Beast to the Julia Roberts/Lyle Lovett marriage.
There's gotta be a bigger attraction to the walkways than just trying to catch a glimpse of strays, if Sora spends most of her time tumbling along them. What exactly does "tumbling along" them mean?
People have moved into skyscrapers to avoid strays, and even though we have guys whose job it is to hunt strays, we haven't been able to take back the surface for decades? What are we hunting them with, squirt guns?