After a date with one of Philadelphia’s elite goes terribly wrong, Basia, a director at a prestigious law firm, finds herself engulfed in a personal and professional firestorm. Her emotional and psychological wounds are laid open to public scrutiny. [It's surprising how often it's a mistake to date the elite.]
A college graduate on her way to med school, Marissa finds herself pregnant and abandoned by her [elite] Rhodes Scholar boyfriend and living back at home with her bitter mother. Her entire life’s plan in shambles, she struggles to cobble together a new plan for herself and her future child.
Thirty-something Caitlin, a self-professed slut and misanthrope, sinks deeper and deeper into unsatisfying hedonism. How long until the one man who tries to save her gives up? How far could rock bottom be?
And then there’s Tara, a retired military nurse devoted to family and Catholicism. A tragic car accident, killing her daughter’s family, leaves Tara as the end of her family line. Railing against God, she turns away from everything she once believed and valued.
When these four women find themselves aligned [Basia found herself engulfed, Marissa found herself pregnant, they all find themselves aligned . . . time to find yourself another phrase.] at the center of a freak lightning storm on a beach in Cape May, NJ, their lives converge. Bizarre coincidences that cannot be dismissed are eventually deciphered with the help of a diary written by Tara’s daughter as a teenager.
Without their knowledge or intent, these women have been gathered to form an unlikely coven. Their ages, their locations, the dates of their personal crises within the “Wheel of the Year,” all these details and more point to underlying Wicca forces that must be recognized and appeased. One undeniable fact becomes clear: blood is required. With the Where and When all too clear, these reluctant witches race to figure out the Who, How and, most of all, the Why. [You forgot the What, the Huh? and the WTF.] [Whatever you do, get rid of that last sentence. It has too many "W"s.
Despite their doubts and fears, a sacrifice is performed. In the end, whether they forestalled the end of the world or simply committed a cold-blooded murder, the remaining three women will never know for sure. [Killing someone isn't something you should enter into when you have doubts. Is anyone among them confident that they must kill?]
Here's what I think the plot portion of your query letter sounds like:
Four strangers, each suffering her own version of hell. A freak lightning storm on a beach in Cape May, New Jersey. Drawn together by extraordinary circumstances, Basia, Marissa, Caitlin and Tara are forced to acknowledge unseen bonds connecting them. Unwittingly they have assembled to form an improbable coven.
Their ages, their homes, the dates of their personal crises within the “Wheel of the Year"; all these details--and more--point to underlying Wicca forces that must be appeased. A blood sacrifice is performed. Have they gone too far? Was it cold-blooded murder? Or have they forestalled the end of the world? The remaining three women may never know the answer.
The synopsis doesn't add much to that; it adds brief descriptions of the characters, mainly how they arrived at their personal hells. No doubt you've devoted a chapter or more to each woman's background, but your story begins when their lives converge. I'm less interested in each woman's past than in what's going on. And what leads them to kill one of their own. I would develop the brief synopsis with details of the bizarre coincidences, how their ages and locations and crises figure in, what's in the diary, why they think the end of the world is near, what has drawn them together. In short, What's going on?
Presumably this is the book whose opening appears here. Somehow it never occurred to me that that was a book about witches and sacrifice.