Sunday, November 05, 2006
Guess the Plot
Forever for Ransom
1. The playboy son of a billionaire is kidnapped, but daddy won't pay up. The boy convinces his captors to start a ballad-driven soft rock band.
2. She's back! In this, the seventh book of the series, nosy parker Miss Amelia Pettipants is on the trail of Doctor Whatsis as he threatens the entire village with his time machine.
3. It can take a long time to raise twenty million dollars. Kidnapper Mitchell Beinhardt knows that. Plus it's really not that hard taking care of Paris Hilton's chihuahua. So he sets a ransom deadline of, like, whenever.
4. In a world where the few who control the time-travel mechanisms known as The Portals hold the power, computer nerd Teren Blanden must travel into the past and kidnap Ian Flass, whose lab accident created the first of The Portals. The future rests in the hands of a geek and the mind of an opportunist.
5. One man escapes the enslavement of the ruthless vigilante sorcerers--but will his soul be the price of vengeance?
6. Calipygia Jackson has been kidnapped seven times, and each time her husband has paid the ransom and gotten her back. But now a pretty widow has moved next door . . . and the ransom note has mysteriously disappeared.
I am seeking representation for my 120,000 word fantasy novel, Forever for Ransom.
The past holds us all to ransom, and for Arithein, the price is steeped in blood. With one word, he permitted magicians to enslave thousands. [And that one word was "uh-huh."] Thousands - including his son, Orim. Duty now demands he repeat that sin, and condemn innocent and guilty alike to a death without end. [Death without end sounds bad, but unless you come back as a vampire or a zombie, your death is without end.] Treachery comes from within though, and murder by any other name cuts as deep. [I have no idea what you're talking about. It feels like a bunch of phrases that sound okay separately, but have little substance when combined.]
Orim however was never the heir of the man he called father. Torn from himself, [No idea what that phrase means.] he escapes into a world he no longer knows. Forbidden magic pulls him to Yara, the one person who possesses both the will to save him and the power to destroy him; the only person more wanted by the magicians than Orim himself.
Confession by confession, Yara leads Orim toward vengeance, against magic, against heaven, and against the man whose betrayal destroyed him. What neither knows is that murder will revive the spell on Orim's head, [Whose murder, what spell?] silencing him forever. [Also known as muteness without end.] Hatred has its weakness though, hidden in the blood that binds Yara to Orim ... father to son. Enemies are closing, faith is dying, and Orim has only one currency left with which to bargain: his soul. [Either I'm in a drug-induced stupor, or you were when you wrote this. I say scrap it all and start over. Just tell me what happens in the book, not in the voice of Orim or Arithein or Yara, but as if you were talking to me, at a table in ________ (restaurant chain owners, contact me for pricing on having your company's name placed in the blank).]
My short stories have appeared in FlashSpec Volume 1 and Antipodean SF. Based on a three chapter sample, Forever for Ransom was short-listed for the 2006 Conjure Pitches Competition. I am currently working on the sequel, Paid in Silence.
I would be happy to send a partial and/or synopsis as suits you. I enclose an SASE for your convenience. Thank you for your time.
Yours sincerely, etc.
This sounds like the voice-over at the beginning of Lord of the Rings, but with no visuals to ground us, very little concrete plot, and no Cate Blanchett to make it sound ominous and edgy, rather than wildly overdone.