Face-Lift 222

Guess the Plot

Where Evil Resides

1. It looked like just another historic home tour - until the door opened and a devastatingly handsome editor ushered the group in.

2. A delightful illustrated tour guide to such varied buildings as The White House, The Bates Motel, and several New York publishing houses.

3. Attempting to recreate the Inferno, Dante blows up a power plant. If anyone can stop his quest for world domination, it's the yodeling cowboy.

4. A paperboy turns to extreme measures when his subscription payment at the Kneivel house is way overdue.

5. Real estate agent Carrie Fordham has sold her share of tough properties, convincing homebuyers to look past lead paint, radon levels that would choke a horse, and the occasional cracked foundation. But when 666 Elm Street in Amityville comes on the market, Carrie must take her sales skills to a whole new level.

6. Postman Sal Magundi has never met a letter he couldn't deliver. So when little Clara Hexton misspells the addressee of her Christmas list as "Satan," neither fire nor sulfur nor hordes of marauding demons will keep this carrier from completing his task.


Original Version

Dear Evil Editor,

Tranquil, quaint and unquestionably safe is what most residents thought of life in the northern Arizona town of Pine Ridge. [Then . . . the zombies came.] [Is this the same Pine Ridge as in the movie Yodelin' Kid from Pine Ridge?] [Quote from the movie:

Col. Millhouse: Marvelous, Autry, marvelous! You certainly have that animal trained and I don't see how you do it.
Gene Autry: The secret in training a horse, Colonel, is that, ah, you have to know more than the horse.]

That changed the day the plans to build the Sycamore Canyon Power Plant outside of town were announced.

Over the weeks following the announcement Pine Ridge became a town divided as the residents subtly aligned themselves. There were those who welcomed the progress and jobs [and electricity] the power plant offered while others feared it would forever change the landscape of their lives, and yet another, small, sinister faction that saw the division of the town as an opening to pursue its own agenda.

That group named themselves the Pine Ridge Alliance or PRA. They furtively began recruiting members from those who not only opposed the plant but also had reason to hate or fear the government. [In other words, everyone except the filthy rich.] As the group grew they began their campaign of terrorism under the guise of environmental conservatism. Their attacks began with minor acts of subterfuge while the sprawling plant took shape. [For instance, graffiti slogans like "Nuke the Plant" and "Free the Yodelin' Kid."] Over the two years it took to bring the plant online the acts became increasingly more violent, finally culminating in the bombing that disabled the plant and shook Pine Ridge to its very core. [Core? Is this a nuclear power plant?]

Many PRA members tried to leave the group then, believing that boundaries had been crossed, but they soon found their lives were no longer their own. [Had they been members of PRA, or PRA, they would have had no trouble getting away.] Dante, their shadowy leader now ruled by intimidation and threats against their families. [Now that the plant's been bombed, what more does Dante want from his followers?] When two members were viciously murdered as an example, someone went to the feds and helped infiltrate federal agents into the group.

Ultimately the undercover mission led to the apprehension of several members and that’s when Department of Justice agents Shelby Ryan and Carson Billings of the domestic terrorism unit arrived in town. [These wouldn't be your main characters, arriving in chapter 19, would they?] Their task was to investigate and build the prosecutorial case against the suspects as well as aid in the capture of Dante and the members still at large.

Over the months Agents Ryan and Carson work with local Sheriff’s Lieutenant Gabe Navarro to stop Dante, whose ultimate goal entails a far more iniquitous attack than anyone could have envisioned. [He plans to bring in PRA to assist in destroying the peaceful town.]

Where Evil Resides is a completed 70,000 word thriller. I would be happy to send a synopsis [I think you just did.] and sample chapters. Thank you very much for your time.

Regards,


Notes

It's a bit long on plot. The PRA legally requires you to get it down to a page.

Why are we keeping the sinister faction's agenda a secret? It's Dante and the PRA that makes this a thriller, yet we don't know what their threat is. Is it a threat to Pine Ridge, or the US, or the world? We need to know what's at stake if we're to be hooked by the query. Also, is there a character we follow throughout the book who's a good guy? Usually in a good guys versus bad guys story, we meet the good guys early on.