Guess the Plot
Masks of Meat
1. For the pure carnivore, these beauty aids using all-animal products will take years off your appearance and add commas to your budget.
2. Vance "Meat Eater" Volt is a complete failure on the pro wrestling circuit until his next opponents are a trio whose shtick is, well, look at the title. Also, a honey roast recipe.
3. When all the cryogenically frozen prisoners in a futuristic dungeon wake up, they realize they must disguise themselves if they are to escape the prison island. So they fashion . . . well, look at the title. Also, sharks.
4. The theme at Prince Orlack's annual costume ball seems rather odd, but no one is willing to question it . . . until all the exits are locked down and the lions are released into the ballroom.
Original Version
Dear (Agent),
I am seeking representation for my novel, MASKS OF MEAT (77,000 words), an upmarket, gothic sci-fi/horror. It merges the psychological paranoia of Peter Watts’ Blindsight with the eerie horror of Jeff VanderMeer’s Annihilation. Masks of Meat is a multi-POV standalone novel with series potential.
Lord Arthur Lan refuses to accept the tragic death of his wife. He is drawn into a horrific bargain; trading his son’s soul to reclaim hers. [Unless his son is a serial killer, I predict Mom is not gonna be onboard with this.] When his dead wife whispers to [shrieks at] him from the darkness, he is overcome with guilt and breaks his deal. He saves his son by binding the boy’s soul to a metal body [Where is his son's body?] and [unintentionally?] unleashes a power far older than anyone can comprehend. [How does he have access to his son's soul? He traded it away.] [Which of the following metal bodies most resembles the one Arthur's son is in?
Lured by his wife’s voice, Arthur and his reincarnated son travel to Nightfall, a desolate dungeon, its inmates frozen in endless cryosleep. Now the prisoners are awake, [Five words after you call the cryosleep endless, it's ended.] and Arthur's ship is destroyed, leaving them stranded with no way home. [Arthur has a ship? The dungeon is on a desolate island? You could have said, in the previous sentence, they sail to Nightfall, a desolate dungeon on a remote island, so we're not shocked when you mention the ship.] [ Was the ship destroyed by the unleashed power or by the released inmates?] [ Other ships must come to the island to bring new inmates. or supplies for the guards who maintain the cryopods, so they should be able to leave eventually. Not thst leaving will protect them from the all-powerful whatever that's been released.]
Instead of finding his wife, [If you gave the wife and son names, you wouldn't have to keep saying his wife and his son.] they discover the guards, dead and displayed. After one of the prisoners is violently attacked, panic spreads. Only Arthur knows the truth, in his grief, he called into the darkness, and the thing that answered has come to claim the soul Arthur promised. [Arthur traded his son for his wife. Later he breaks the deal, which I assume means he traded his wife back for his son. (The thing that has his son isn't gonna give him up for nothing.) Now the thing is back wanting the son. Is he gonna give up the wife again to get him? Is either of these characters ever gonna be satisfied?]
As the dwindling survivors turn on one another, and his son’s borrowed body begins to fail, [Shoulda got the extended warranty.] Arthur must decide who he is willing to sacrifice, his son or the entire group; before the entity decides for him. [The entity, I assume is what was previously referred to as the thing and the power. The "group," I assume, is all the prisoners who were so irredeemable they were put into endless cryosleep. Obviously, sacrifice the group.]
Notes
Everything I've questioned about the plot is undoubtedly clear in the book, but the agent may not be as confident of that as I am. And I was lying when I hinted that I was confident.
How does Arthur bind a soul to a metal body? And even if that's possible, what made him think it would save his son from the entity? Is this super-powered ancient entity allergic to zinc?
Even if the story is wacko, the query shouldn't inspire questions. Leave out the crazy stuff like binding souls to metal, and focus of what Arthur's wants and how he plans to get it.
