Guess the Plot
The Books of Alexandrea
1. Every library has its books. But in this library the books want to escape and they'll do it any way they can--even if they have to burn the place to the ground.
2. The women need access to the spellbooks in the Library in order to do magic, but the men won't let the women into the Library's magic section. Only one girl, Alexandrea, can bring magic back to womankind, but what's in it for her? She's doing fine without magic.
3. A used book store is the cover for a ring of scammers selling knock-off jewelry they hide in hollowed-out books. When a book-loving girl scout comes calling, can they buy her off with cookie purchases, or will they face life under a new boss ten times as diabolical as themselves?
4. Alexandrea discovers she's the latest incarnation of the protective spirit of the Library of Alexandria, doomed to mortality for failing in her duties, forced to write out all of her lost books, no matter that the originals were complete rubbish. In other words, she's like every other author seeking help from Evil Editor.
5. Andrea has many books. One keeps track of what she owes the butcher, another how much she's into the baker. But the book that troubles Andrea most is the one she keeps on the candlestick maker, a lustful, humorless man with waxy fingers. Will she never learn that the piper must be paid?... oh wait, that's a different book altogether.
6. Alexandrea has the ability to enter books and live in their worlds. Unfortunately, when she brings a second book into a horror novel as an escape route, she scrambles the space-time literary continuum. Now she's trapped within a million books, her only hope of return the diary in which her bratty sister imagines killing her.
7. Alexandrea really got into those mindful coloring books. She amassed a huge tower of 'em, cheap, since they fell out of vogue a few years ago. And now spends all day with her pretties. But now... one book is really upset with the color scheme she chose for it. Upset enough for its characters to step out of its leaves and enter her dreams...and change more than just her colors...
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor,
A vast and ancient Library hides all magic. Once belonging to women, magic now resides in countless books, coveted by the men controlling the Library. [Claiming the men control the library, when they can't get the magic they covet from the library books, is like me claiming I control the Ben and Jerry's store when the kid behind the counter refuses to sell me a pint of Cherry Garcia.] Outside the Library, almost no one believes magic exists.
Alexandrea Hawthorne knows her Aunt Heather runs a monthly Book Club. When Alexandrea tells her aunt about her recurring nightmare, “Come to Book Club” isn’t the response she expects. [Perhaps you should tell us about her recurring nightmare.] Heather can’t explain she’s been waiting all Alexandrea’s life for this moment: to remove the curse that makes her unable to see, hear, or know magic. [Why can't she explain it? If my aunt is gonna suddenly start uttering incantations over me, either she explains why in advance, or I'm out of there.]
The curse means Alexandrea doesn’t know Heather’s Book Club is a witch’s coven. [This curse sounds more like a spell.] [You don't need a curse to prevent someone from knowing your book club is a coven. You just need to not tell anyone.] [Shouldn't that be witches coven? Or witches' coven?] She doesn’t know they’ll use the same two-hundred-year-old spellbook her own father used to place her under this curse. She is unaware what harm this may cause her, or how to survive it. [I'm not sticking around for a process that I might not survive, not when I was getting along just fine under the curse. But that's me.] She is aided by the Book club, a group of women from diverse backgrounds and orientations. [The sentences in this paragraph aren't connected well enough.] [Also, you capitalized "Book" but not "club." I'm not sure why we need to capitalize either, with the possible exception of in "Heather's Book Club" if that's the actual name of the club. As for "Library," I'll give you that one, assuming the place is just known as the Library.]
Success and failure threaten Alexandrea equally. Alexandrea is faced with an impossible choice. Failure means the loss of magic for all women for all time. Should she succeed, two men wait to extract her magic to make their own book. Until Alexandrea can understand magic, she must trust even those who seek to do her harm. [Usually characters must trust no one or trust but verify. Alex must trust everyone? What will happen if she doesn't trust those who seek to do her harm?]
THE BOOKS OF ALEXANDREA, 125,000 words, unfolds in a contemporary world where magic has been hidden in books for so long few still believe in it. Even women who call themselves witches doubt magic’s existence. The truth is not always what they believe, and that pits friends against friends and pairs enemies as they fight to return magic to womankind. [When did womankind lose magic? When Alex was cursed? When men got control of the Library? Gradually over millennia?] Similar to JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL, where magicians don't believe in magic until they see it for themselves or THE HUNGER GAMES where adversaries aren’t always the most dangerous people.
In 2019, I published A GOAT AND TEN COINS OF SILVER in World of Myth Magazine and GOODNIGHT in Exposition Review’s February Flash-405 Contest (republished in 2020). I also write genre movie reviews at the Tribeca Film Festival for SciFi4Me. In real life, I work in marketing and write a seasonal blog featuring the food and wine industries of Long Island’s North Fork. [These credits aren't needed.]
Thank you for your time and consideration,
PS: The Books of Alexandrea is a play on the Library of Alexandria. Here, the books are the aforementioned spellbooks....
Notes
It's not clear to me what Alex's choice is. Does Heather give Alex the option of having the curse removed, and tell her the pros and cons?
The curse shielded Alex from knowledge of magic, but apparently Heather knows about magic. Is it illegal for women to enter the Library and access books in which magic resides?
As I understand it, the curse affected only Alex, and the reason womankind no longer has magic is not because of the curse, but because they've been kept from it by men so long that they've forgotten it exists. But how does removing the curse from one woman/girl, thus giving her knowledge of magic, change anything? Men will still keep women out of the Library.
We need to know what's at stake. Among those who know of magic, women want magic, but don't want men to get it. Men want magic, but don't want women to regain it. I don't know if the world is better off with one or the other or neither or both having magic. What's the worst possible scenario, and what is the main character (whether it's Alex or Heather) doing to prevent it?
Give us ten sentences that answer these questions: Who's the main character and what does she want? What's her plan to get it? What obstacles stand in her way? What will happen if she fails to overcome these obstacles?
3 comments:
The first paragraph is contradictory. Not all magic is hidden in the library if there's a curse and a coven and who knows what else existing outside the library.
After the book club/coven is mentioned, there's a lot of vagueness. e.g. If you're going to mention there's an impossible choice, you might as well tell us what the choice is. If the truth isn't what they believe, it might help if we knew either what the truth is or what they believe is or both. What does "pairs enemies" even mean?
Why would magic be lost for all women for all time? For that matter, what use is magic in this world?
I'm not a fan of men vs women stories so ymmv
It sometimes help to focus more on the hook of the story instead of more plot details.
If you revise, we'll take another look. Good luck.
It is highly NOT recommended to use big name titles, or ones published 10+ years ago, as comps and the word count is too high, even for fantasy (way too high if this is supposed to be YA). The other information in that paragraph should be obvious from your plot paragraphs if it's important (which it doesn't seem to be).
I'm assuming Alexandrea is the MC. It might help to know why she's the "chosen one" here. Is she just a victim of fate? What skills/resources does she have? If it's people helping her, in what way do they help? How much is she doing on her own? What's at stake seems to be magic for womankind (although I do wonder why men having it too is a Bad Thing). What does Alexandrea plan on doing to gain/regain the magic? (aka EE's mc/stakes/plans/obstacles rephrased)
Rough outline:
P1 - Three sentences introducing the MC, her situation & goals
P2 - Three sentences introducing the opposition, their situation & goals
P3 - Three sentences talking about the clash. Ending with the Big Choice (if there is one) usually works well.
You may need a bit more than that, or to rearrange, but hopefully it helps in some way.
Hi Author. It’s heartening to see people still writing and spinning stories during these times. Thank you for posting!
I like this line: “When Alexandrea tells her aunt about her recurring nightmare, “Come to Book Club” isn’t the response she expects.” – it sounds like an inciting incident, and it’s funny.
EE, what do you think the answer is to What does she want? It could be “to have my recurring nightmare stop/get this curse off me” but it could also be something further on in the story like “to return magic to the world to cure disease and nightmares”. Which do you most need in a query?
Author, I see you also have some other answers in this version, so don’t give up!
What's her plan to get it?
Aunt Heather will remove the curse that makes Alex unable to see, hear, or know magic. They’ll use the same two-hundred-year-old spellbook Alex’s father used to place her under this curse.
What obstacles stand in her way?
Magic now resides in countless books, coveted by the men controlling the Library. Outside the Library, almost no one believes magic exists. Until Alexandrea can understand magic, she must trust even those who seek to do her harm. Even women who call themselves witches doubt magic’s existence. The truth is not always what they believe, and that pits friends against friends.
What will happen if she fails to overcome these obstacles?
Having the curse removed may cause Alex unknown harm, or death. Failure [unclear if this means failure to have the curse removed?] means the loss of magic for all women for all time. Two men wait to extract her magic to make their own book.
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