Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Guess the Plot
1. The Prosthetic Gods are hailed as heroes for their proficiency at attaching hands to chins, the latest worldwide craze. Then the dormant computer chips awaken and the stranglings start.
2. Beautiful Kim Moseley has a secret--she stands on prosthetic legs. Meanwhile, Dr. Brandon McKay works to perfect a set of hands that grasp and feel like the ones he lost two years ago. Will a chance meeting between them lead to romance?
3. Three plucky young Indian-American orthotists fresh out of grad school start up a new shop and name it Prosthetic Gods. A trio of cranky, anti-immigrant techs down at Middlebrook Orthopedics, Inc. don't appreciate the competition.
4. On the run from the US Marine Corps for destroying their trillion-dollar killer robot, Jackie is rescued by a psychotic cyborg circus owner. But can she now survive invisible assassin bots and the world's deadliest lawnmower to take down the former Secretary of Defense?
5. They're called "prosthetic gods" because they're the best at what they do. But can they meet their biggest challenge yet, providing a prosthetic head to a decapitated cab driver?
6. Installing spare parts on robots isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when the robots like their original limbs and see no need to replace them with more advanced models. That's where Bill Bluto comes in. His job: convince robots to accept the latest technology, thus averting a second robot-human war.
Sergeant Jackie Woolcombe has just made the worst mistake of her life. She's killed a trillion-dollar project in the form of the latest and greatest of killer robots, and is on the the run from the US Marine Corps. She is rescued from the fate of eternity in the stockade by Bone, a psychotic cyborg circus-owner, [Is that a circus owner who's a psychotic cyborg, or a psychotic who owns a cyborg circus or a regular guy who owns a circus of psychotic cyborgs?] and his cybernetic technical support guru Steve. Steve and Jackie discover they have a shared homicidal hatred for the former Secretary of Defence, [Defense] Steve's foster-father, and they are conveniently capable as a pair to wreak vengeance on him. Too convenient – a cabal of interests has brought them together for just this reason. Jackie and Steve must find a way to execute the plan under the eyes of a conspiracy, and escape from the certain death that awaits them when they have served their purpose. They must overcome nano-swarms, invisible assassin bots and the world's most deadly automatic lawnmower before riding the Space Elevator to meet their destiny. [Does everyone ride the space elevator to meet their destiny?] [Divide that paragraph into two or three paragraphs.]
Prosthetic Gods is a science-fiction novel complete at 113,000 words. It has been critiqued by a writers group that includes by [by?] (recently well reviewed writer X) and your own (agency's author Y). [If this is of any interest to the reader, and I'm not saying it is, I'm guessing she would want to know what the critique group (or at least author Y) thought, not just that the book was critiqued.] I am seeking representation and offer it for your consideration.
Your [Yours] sincerely,
Notes on the title: The title comes from a Sigmund Freud quote and is intended to allude to the (mis)uses of robots and technology: “Man has, as it were, become a kind of prosthetic God. When he puts on all his auxiliary organs, he is truly magnificent; but those organs have not grown on him and they still give him much trouble at times.” [Would his switching the discussion from prosthetics to troublesome non-growing organs be considered Freudian slippage?]
Is Jackie immortal, or are you exaggerating when you say she'll spend eternity in the stockade?
Did you name the circus guy "Bone" as an homage to Freud?
Now that he's the former Secretary of Defense, what good does it do to kill him? What's his current job? What has he done to make Steve and Jackie want vengeance? Plenty of people wouldn't mind seeing Dick Cheney dead, but few actually take action, and if they did, he'd probably shoot them in the face.
Over the course of the entire book, the wacky highlights you've chosen to mention in the query may be welcome comedy relief. But packed together in these few sentences, they seem over-the-top. Thus I recommend getting rid of at least two of the following phrases: psychotic cyborg circus-owner; world's most deadly automatic lawnmower; riding the Space Elevator to meet their destiny.