Guess the Plot
1. Hopeful writer Christina Brown considers herself a Rowling in potentia, and that's how she signs her query letters: "Christina, RIP". But it's not working. So she comes up with a new plan: she'll deliver her queries in person, as Strip-o-Grams. Law enforcement ensues.
2. You work your whole life to get ahead, to make a home for you and your family, to have something decent for a change...and then the miserable whore goes and sleeps with half the neighborhood because she's 'lonely'. Well, "Mr. There-For-You" wasn't, when I had the gun, was he? Enjoy your dirt nap, bitch.
3. Though a host of YA novels have convinced Christina that after her suicide her life will really get interesting, and everyone will be sorry they were mean to her, that turns out not to be the case. Instead, she's doomed to an eternity haunting the school lunch room listening to the Mean Girls say mean things about her.
4. Christina, RIP. Has a problem. No matter how she manages her diet, she can't stop farting, RIIIIP. Nobody will sit next to her in class, RI-RI-RIIIIP; and she's a pariah in the lunch room, rip. Just when it seems it can't, POOT, get any worse for Christina, RIP. She gets invited to the cute quarterback's firework party, RIIIIP, KA-BOOOM!
5. Being dead hasn't brought Christina peace, so she takes possession of her cousin Tiffany's body. Tiff always hated Christie, so she'll do anything to drive her back out. Conflict ensues. Also, an evil witch.
6. At the funeral of their classmate Christina, several students reflect on what they could have done to prevent her suicide. Pretty much all of them had a hand in it. They agree to get together later that night for a party.
I am offering my novel, CHRISTINA RIP for your consideration.
Christie’s life took a turn for the strange after she died. She can see and hear people, but nobody is aware of her presence. [I believe the technical term for her condition is "ghost."] Her best friend blames herself for Christie’s demise, [Technical term: "murderer."] but Christie herself has no memory of what happened. [I'm starting to wonder why the title isn't Christie: RIP.]
Her nerdy spirit guide is no help, dispensing confusing information about what she needs to do to pass to the “next level”. [The levels after death include ghost, zombie and vampire. Possibly you go ghost-zombie-ghost, as your spirit wouldn't know you were going to become a zombie till after you were a ghost (you go back to ghost when someone shoots you in the face or cuts off your head). With vampire, the spirit knows you'll be a vampire because it saw a vampire bite your neck, so the first ghost level is set aside until someone manages to drive a wooden stake through your heart. Eventually everyone's a ghost and the next level, according to the Doctor Strange saga (see Marvel Premiere #8-10, 1973, in which The Ancient One dies) is becoming one with eternity.] Maybe the joke about not wanting to be ‘seen dead’ with a geek like him wasn’t such a good idea after all. Seems there’s a family curse, involving her evil witch Nonna. [Her evil witch? What does that mean?] And if Christie doesn’t want to fade to nothing for eternity, she needs to lift the curse.
But she is experiencing increasingly longer periods of nothingness, and figures that unless she can undo the curse pronto, she will fade away forever. [You just said that in the previous sentence.]
So when her cousin Tiffany organises a séance, Christie takes this opportunity to possess her. [Ghosts can possess people only during seances? Convenient that Tiffany is staging one.] But even back inside a body, answers still aren’t that easy to find. [No need to say "still" when you've already said "even." Also, "that" can go.] Christie needs to ease her bestie’s guilt, and undo the family curse, all the while struggling to keep control of Tiffany’s body. Tiffany hated her while she was alive, and hates her more now she’s taken over her, so will do anything to drive Christie out. [Terrible sentence. Better to drop it than to fix it.]
Christina, RIP is a 70,000 word YA paranormal with comedy elements.
Why is Tiffany organizing a seance? Surely not to talk to someone she hated.
This needs a major organizational overhaul. The setup:
Christie doesn't remember how she came to be dead. All she knows is that her best friend blames herself, and that a family curse is preventing her spirit from moving on to the next level. According to her nerdy spirit guide, she will fade to nothingness if she can't lift the curse.
Breaking the curse and easing her friend's guilt will be easier in human form, so Christie takes possession of her cousin Tiffany's body. Tiffany hated Christie when she was alive, and she's none-too-happy about this new arrangement. She'll do anything short of killing herself to drive Christie out.
Wherein you tell us how Christie plans to deal with her problem, what goes wrong, etc.