Friday, November 16, 2012
New Beginning 977
Guido Marionetti sauntered through the Piscataway fish market, searching for inspiration. He paused at a tray of flounders, their flattened bodies nestled in crushed ice, eyes staring skyward. The creatures at the fish market often sparked Guido’s sadistic creativity, and Guido wanted something exceptional for his next target. Killing Big Nose Narducci wasn’t just another job.
Tourists at nearby picnic tables swung wooden mallets, smashing boiled crabs to expose the tender flesh within. Guido watched for a moment, then moved to a display of octopi. The boneless tangle of limbs and limp bodies made Guido smile. He purchased a crab mallet and a bottle of pickled octopus before climbing into his Escalade and hitting the turnpike.
Guido was known for the gifts he sent to his soon-to-be-victims. Like the two dozen oysters—clearly dead and no good for eating—left on Sal Fiorellli’s front steps in a be-ribboned gift basket. When Sal went missing, a search of the family yacht found a large cement sphere dangling off the bow, the remains of Sal inside, a pearl necklace twined around his neck. Nice touch, those pearls. But that was yesterday’s news.
Today's news? An oceanload of vengeful octopi moms threw themselves at Guido's face and suffocated him to death for murdering their children.
Then they cooked a feast of spaghetti bolognaise for all the other distraught seafolk but accidentally became part of their own menu thanks to a miracle of form over substance.
"Hell," said Guido's sister. "Worstest I evah thought of my bro wuz he had zits and yeh once he step on mah hampster but hell fuck him the bitch for messin' with the whole o' mankind ocean kinda thang cos like the trees we depend on them ole tentacle crustacean suckers for all the Lord's oxygen plus the cheat he owe me ten dollar."
Opening: IMHO.....Continuation: Whirlochre