Face-Lift 1511

Guess the Plot

Fatum

1. The Bachelor meets The Hunger Games on this reality show where dozens of women vie for one man's ring, with the winner becoming a star, while the losers . . . you don't wanna know. This is the story of one woman who bets it all on being the sole survivor. 

2. A middling student comes across this word and googles it, only to slowly realize through oddly powerful pangs of deja vu that she is Marcus Aurelius incarnate. She discovers that Pompey has been reincarnated as Trump and she now must find a way to dethrone him before civil war begins (and without getting sent to a psych ward).

3. Regular fatso, Tatum, acquiesces to joining weight watchers per his wife's request. But when he finds out his wife has begun an affair with her trainer, Tatum takes on the title of 'Fatum' & owns his identity as an obese man.

4. When Elsie goes to fat camp, it's to please her family, not to lose weight. When she sees the personified spirit of impending doom, it only encourages stress eating. When she returns home 200 lbs heavier, her family sues the camp.

5. When an oracle informs Fatum of his pre-ordained fate, an early death, he refuses to accept it. He kills the oracle. Now he's on the run from a lot of people intent on locking him in a small room with no window on death row. 

                              

Original Version

Dear [AGENT NAME],

Thank you for considering my query. Because of your interest in [PERSONALIZATION], I suspect you might enjoy meeting antiheroine Belén Kabar and following her journey through the glittering dystopia of Fatum, where The Bachelor meets The Hunger Games. [Italicize titles.]

Twenty-seven women enter Fatum in pursuit of one man’s final ring. Some want love. Some want fame. Belén Kabar wants out: out of her rotting country, out of obscurity, and into the heart of Tyche, the world’s entertainment capital. She’s betting it all on one goal: become the show’s next lead.

She knows how the game works: cry at the right time, kiss like you’re in love, and make the audience root for your happy ending. Because Fatum, Tyche’s number one reality show, isn’t just a TV phenomenon. It’s a cultural machine. A ratings juggernaut. A tool of soft power so influential, it shapes fashion, politics, and the very definition of desirability. Contestants are stripped of privacy, rewritten in editing rooms, and hunted for tears by moiras (producers) whose job is to break them open. The ones who play along can be made into stars. The ones who don’t vanish into obscurity. [Wait, the losers don't die? What about The Hunger Games? This is more like The Bachelor meets Top Chef.]

Belén arrives with more than just ambition; she has a secret connection to the show’s production, relentless discipline, and a mind built for strategy. But the deeper she gets, the harder it becomes to tell where the story ends and where she begins. Her scripted romance with the golden-boy, the show’s Destined, becomes both saccharine and sour. An old flame behind the scenes resurfaces. A magnetic rival starts to look less like an enemy and more like something far more dangerous. [Finally. An enemy. I hope she's formed some trustworthy alliances.] And all the while, the people at the top (the faceless, all-knowing “Powerfuls”) are watching. Pushing. Rewriting the rules.

Fatum (95,000 words) is a novel of dystopian women’s fiction that will appeal to readers who enjoyed How to Be Eaten by Maria Adelmann and Annie Bot by Sierra Greer. [See, now if you'd italicized the titles, I wouldn't have thought you were comping one title by Sierra Greer: How to Be Eaten by Maria Adelman and Annie Bot.] Fans of reality TV might also appreciate this novel, but only if they’re willing to look behind the Wizard’s curtain.

I was born, raised, and am currently based in [SOUTH AMERICAN CITY], where I work as an [BORING JOB]. Fatum is my debut novel.

You will find the first [XX] pages of my manuscript in the body of this email, below.  [Don’t give your page count in Roman numerals.]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best,

Notes

I have no complaints about this. The TV show would probably be a hit. I've noticed a couple agents putting books based on reality TV shows on their wish lists and they'd probably want to check this out. It's longer than ideal, so if you think that's a problem, here's a slightly shortened version of the plot summary, which might include a minor change or two that you like.:

Because of your interest in [PERSONALIZATION], you may enjoy following antiheroine Belén Kabar into the glittering realm of Fatum, the number one reality show in a dystopian world. Fatum isn’t just a ratings juggernaut. It’s a cultural machine that shapes fashion, politics, and the very definition of desirability. Contestants are stripped of privacy, rewritten in editing rooms, and hunted for tears by producers whose job is to break them open. The ones who play along can become stars. 

Twenty-seven women enter Fatum in pursuit of one man’s final ring. Some want love, some want fame. Belén Kabar wants out: out of her rotting country, and out of obscurity. She’s betting everything on becoming the show’s next lead, and she arrives with more than ambition; she has relentless discipline, a mind built for strategy--and a secret connection to the show’s production. She knows how the game works: cry at the right time, kiss like you’re in love, and make the audience root for your happy ending.

But the deeper she gets, the harder it becomes to tell where the story ends and where she begins. Her scripted romance with the golden-boy, the show’s Destined, becomes both saccharine and sour. An old flame resurfaces. A magnetic contender starts to look less like a rival and more like a dangerous enemy. And all the while, the people at the top (the faceless, all-knowing “Powerfuls”) are watching. Pushing. Rewriting the rules.

The plot summary feels like an exposé of a show like The Bachelor. If the losers are subjected to worse than obscurity, like death, or if a contestant gets murdered, that's worth working in.