Feedback Request

The author of the book featured in Face-Lift 1559 would like feedback on the following version of the query.

 Dear XXX

I am seeking representation for The Black Bear Inn, an 85,000-word mystery set on Minnesota’s rugged North Shore. For readers who enjoy Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera and None of This is True by Lisa Jewell, this novel combines atmospheric small-town suspicion, a framed protagonist, and a media-driven investigation.

Out of options, self-proclaimed city girl Adeline Sinclair reluctantly returns to her family cabin on Lake Superior, accepting a job at the Black Bear Inn. For the first time in her life, she’s accepted into a friend group thanks to her charming manager, Val Grant, but her fresh start is threatened when a stack of photos and [No need to mention photos if you don't say what they depict.] a note addressed to Val arrives at the Inn: Stay out of it. [Maybe that message should be in all caps.] Val is cagey when pressed for answers, and days later, Val goes missing. Adeline turns to Val’s boyfriend for comfort, unable to deny her feelings for him. [It seems to me Val's boyfriend is more likely to need comforting than Val's employee.] When Val’s body washes up on shore with suspicious injuries, and a photo of Adeline kissing Val’s boyfriend surfaces online, the community accuses Adeline of Val’s murder. 

Once again, Adeline’s left alone, grappling with guilt. Desperate to clear her name, she [joins forces with Jackson Thorne,} follows the clues Val unknowingly left behind, confronting Jackson Thorne, a guest at the Inn: a true crime podcaster [who'd been] working with Val to uncover crimes against women on the North Shore. Adeline joins forces with Jackson, and together they discover another woman has vanished, just as the police are closing in on Adeline. Now a formal suspect, she [Adeline realizes she’s being framed by the one person who’s claimed to believe her. But can she prove it] must uncover what Val was about to expose before the police arrest her--and before the killer can silence her?—a killer would do anything to silence the missing woman who turns up dead—before she’s arrested for a crime she didn’t commit. Adeline discovers she’s being framed by the one person who’s claimed to believe her, but who will believe an outsider? 

(Bio)

Thank you for your time and consideration! I would be delighted to provide you with the full manuscript upon request. 

Notes

It's better now, with more specific information. 

I'm not convinced Adeline would be unable to deny her feelings for Val's boyfriend at this point. It undoubtedly makes sense in the book, but as this is a mystery, it might be better to leave the romantic angle out of the query.]