Photography's great lies 1) You look better in soft focus (means sharp focus shows those wrinkles) 2) I need a wider lense (means you are too fat to fit in the frame) OR I need to move back (which also means you're too fat) 3) Nothing a little retouching can't take care of (means that the retouch will {remove those bags from your eyes,} {remove the zits,} {remove the cold sores,} {hide the split ends since you didn't comb your hair, etc...} 4) The camera has a funny aspect ratio (means that they can remove 5 pounds of ugly fat and make you look slimmer by adding 10% to the height and not the width of an electronic image) 5) Just a slight color adjustment (will remove that jaundiced, yellowy, pasty skin with the red blotches)
The difference is that the final picture looks like a Paris fashion model when the initial picture looked like the cryptkeeper.
Caption: anon.
Hah! I was at a loss for this one.
ReplyDeletePhotography's great lies
ReplyDelete1) You look better in soft focus (means sharp focus shows those wrinkles)
2) I need a wider lense (means you are too fat to fit in the frame) OR I need to move back (which also means you're too fat)
3) Nothing a little retouching can't take care of (means that the retouch will
{remove those bags from your eyes,} {remove the zits,}
{remove the cold sores,}
{hide the split ends since you didn't comb your hair, etc...}
4) The camera has a funny aspect ratio (means that they can remove 5 pounds of ugly fat and make you look slimmer by adding 10% to the height and not the width of an electronic image)
5) Just a slight color adjustment (will remove that jaundiced, yellowy, pasty skin with the red blotches)
The difference is that the final picture looks like a Paris fashion model when the initial picture looked like the cryptkeeper.
Cute and simple. Just like I prefer my...um, photographers to be.
ReplyDeleteWasn't that originally a Garfield joke?
ReplyDelete