tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8997646237751939468..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 494Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91966634328850067622008-12-30T14:15:00.000-05:002008-12-30T14:15:00.000-05:00This was a very funny one by EE, and I hope you to...This was a very funny one by EE, and I hope you took it in that vein, Author.<BR/><BR/>Rereading this comment trail, though, I think this novel falls firmly in the Mary Sue line, and I would let it sit for a bit before submitting it. You might find (after you write a second novel) that this one, like many Mary Sue stories, is more about what you wanted to see happen than about writing a good story others would like to read. <BR/><BR/>In any case, do keep writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14272070622921129312008-04-11T19:07:00.000-04:002008-04-11T19:07:00.000-04:00thanks. I'm working on my second book in the serie...thanks. I'm working on my second book in the series, by the way. But I really want to get the academy published. and not self-publishing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17111148346786564072008-04-11T11:27:00.000-04:002008-04-11T11:27:00.000-04:00I'll beta read it too, FWIW...daveconifer@earthlin...I'll beta read it too, FWIW...<BR/><BR/>daveconifer@earthlink.netAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6789594056025415772008-04-11T10:51:00.000-04:002008-04-11T10:51:00.000-04:00I'm sorry, I thought the term "beta read" was pret...I'm sorry, I thought the term "beta read" was pretty universal online. It's an informal read-through and edit job by one of your peers (i.e. not a pro editor) where the reader tells you anything from plot problems to where your grammar's wrong. You usually get back either a marked-up copy of your book or a letter describing the good and bad parts. It's always free, although you might offer to read something of theirs in return. Email me at 150words at gmail dot com if you want to chat; I've beta'd for a few people on here already, and it's always fun to see someone else's work.<BR/><BR/>Don't hire an editor or book doctor; if no one wants this one, then just move on. What are you working on now?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80714163437138792392008-04-10T21:49:00.000-04:002008-04-10T21:49:00.000-04:00And, should I hire a book doctor/freelance editor/...And, should I hire a book doctor/freelance editor/query writer?<BR/><BR/><BR/>No.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73672374984294175062008-04-10T21:45:00.000-04:002008-04-10T21:45:00.000-04:00Thanks for the suggestions, stick and move and whi...Thanks for the suggestions, stick and move and whirlochre. 150, I was hesitant on your offer of a beta-read because 1) I have no idea what a beta-read is (remember, i'm homeschooled and my mom uses casual terms), and 2) I have no idea to send it to you (no offense, EE, but offering my manuscript for public review on your blog is a bit more than my fragile, newly-repaired ego can handle). And, should I hire a book doctor/freelance editor/query writer? I think I've gone through about 5/8 to 3/4 of the literary agencies that handle young adult books, and have either gotten a "i like it, but not what we're looking for" note along those lines, or no reply at all. Is it because my plot sucks or my query-writing sucks? I know as a fact that at least one of the aforementioned does. Thanks in advance.<BR/><BR/>authorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-15299908868778468942008-04-10T03:38:00.000-04:002008-04-10T03:38:00.000-04:00This is much, much better. You've tightened it up...This is much, much better. You've tightened it up and wrestled heartily with those demons enthusiatic about para 3.<BR/><BR/>Plus - nice to see your chin grew back.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36083820424550378262008-04-09T21:28:00.000-04:002008-04-09T21:28:00.000-04:00The revised version is a huge improvement over the...The revised version is a huge improvement over the original. HUGE. And with the suggestions from EE and 150, it will be even better. You've received some excellent direction here, author. And kudos to you for taking your beating the first time around, learning from it, and coming back for more. It's the only way to improve. Take your lumps, learn your lesson, apply it and move forward. This won't be your last lesson. I suspect if you get a knowledgeable beta reader (I highly advise you to take 150's offer to do the job, I'm confident you would get some outstanding insights), your manuscript will probably require a good bit of revision. Do it. Stay with it. You'll get there if you hang with it. Bravo for your persistence. Good job, young Minion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47866759355336268462008-04-09T18:07:00.000-04:002008-04-09T18:07:00.000-04:00Count everything and round up.Count everything and round up.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54667881175579596572008-04-09T16:13:00.000-04:002008-04-09T16:13:00.000-04:00My manuscript is 36,00 words in total- including f...My manuscript is 36,00 words in total- including fictional journal entries, etc. Should I put that amount, or the bare-bones 32,000?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39188998791418942232008-04-09T15:59:00.000-04:002008-04-09T15:59:00.000-04:00Thanks, EE. And also to 150. I'm going to add stuf...Thanks, EE. And also to 150. I'm going to add stuff in, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-27320301794364991752008-04-09T15:41:00.000-04:002008-04-09T15:41:00.000-04:00I could use some of your synopsis, right?If you're...<I>I could use some of your synopsis, right?</I><BR/><BR/>If you're asking to use what I wrote, then go ahead! :) If you're asking whether you need more than just what I put, you do--fill in the details and make them as specific and juicy as possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59248265422449494812008-04-09T15:34:00.000-04:002008-04-09T15:34:00.000-04:00do I include the third paragraph if the agent want...<I>do I include the third paragraph if the agent wants to know why the book is going to be good? Or why it's unique?</I><BR/><BR/>There's nothing of value in that paragraph. You've already told us it's for young adults. You've (presumably) already shown us it's entertaining. It's likely we can assume from the plot description that lessons will be learned. If you don't trust us to do so, you can throw in a sentence saying that in the end Kate and Alancia come to realize whatever.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66954152635794373392008-04-09T15:26:00.000-04:002008-04-09T15:26:00.000-04:00150,Thanks. That really really helped, cutting out...150,<BR/>Thanks. That really really helped, cutting out the wordiness... but I could use some of your synopsis, right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87521566538949749462008-04-09T15:21:00.000-04:002008-04-09T15:21:00.000-04:00Wait- to EE, or anyone kind enough to answer: do I...Wait- to EE, or anyone kind enough to answer: do I include the third paragraph if the agent wants to know why the book is going to be good? Or why it's unique?<BR/>I'm confused.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-77663970879207914462008-04-09T14:50:00.000-04:002008-04-09T14:50:00.000-04:00agreed. so that's why i deleted it.agreed. so that's why i deleted it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90050870222497388302008-04-09T14:33:00.000-04:002008-04-09T14:33:00.000-04:00That third paragraph -- absolutely horrible. Even...That third paragraph -- absolutely horrible. Even if it wasn't full of misplaced self pity and misguided social commentary, no agent is going to accept that you should be the one to determine what books are 'needed'.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37296338599760844842008-04-09T10:16:00.000-04:002008-04-09T10:16:00.000-04:00I'm sorry, this is still dreadful. Try this:At Rut...I'm sorry, this is still dreadful. Try this:<BR/><BR/><I>At Rutherford Academy, the rich rule and the "scholarship slobs" settle for their scraps. When middle-class Aspen Thomas arrives, her looks and charm earn her a spot in the eighth grade's most coveted clique. But [SPECIFIC THING HAPPENS*], and the clique snaps into two vicious halves. Aspen--and whatever allies she can gather--must [SPECIFIC GOAL] before [SPECIFIC CONSEQUENCE].<BR/><BR/>The Academy is a middle-grade book that celebrates acceptance and diversity. It is complete at 32,000 words.</I><BR/><BR/>*NOT general like "rumors start to fly", specific like "someone writes LISA IS PREGNANT on the bathroom wall".<BR/><BR/>Notice especially how I killed the wordiness in the first and last paragraphs. You don't need all those words to say what you say.<BR/><BR/>Would you like me to give you a quick and dirty beta-read? This is short, and reading it, I might be able to work up a better summary. I like middle-grade stuff and it's always good practice to write other people's queries.<BR/><BR/>(Blue-eyed blondes aren't the majority; blondes are only 10% of the world.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58818834517074007782008-04-09T09:34:00.000-04:002008-04-09T09:34:00.000-04:00I think you should take out the last paragraph(bef...I think you should take out the last paragraph(before the thanks) about why you wrote the academy. Focus on the story, and nothing else, unless you have been pubbed before, then mention your credits.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49281917823968514122008-04-08T18:51:00.000-04:002008-04-08T18:51:00.000-04:00This was a revised version, but I decided that I h...This was a revised version, but I decided that I hated the third paragraph: sounded too passionate, self-assured, confident, etc. So I deleted it. But I included the paragraph in because I had sent it to an agent and got rejected. =(<BR/><BR/>Dear Evil Editor:<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Rutherford Academy's social hierarchy structure has stayed the same since 1896: the kids from the wealthier, more influential families automatically inherit the throne. The poorer, scholarship students dutifully polish their rulers' already-gleaming shoes, and attend to doing the dirty work. And, of course, social and economic classes are more segregated than a fifth grade boy-girl dance. But that's all going to change. Enter Aspen Thomas, a middle-class suburbanite from Greenwich, Connecticut, who arrives at Rutherford. Aspen is charismatic, charming, and drop-dead gorgeous. She is also blissfully unaware of the unwritten private-school rules. Aspen is soon intertwined in the lives and friendships of four popular eighth graders of Rutherford: Kate Cordelle, Melanie Behr, Lia Wong, and Alancia Peterson. Unwanted gossip about one of them breaks out across the school, forcing Aspen and Alancia to kill off their connections to Kate, Melanie, and Lia. Together, the two social-suicide offenders make decisions that will change the course of Rutherford Academy forever…<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The Academy is a 32,000-word young adult fiction manuscript, which I am currently seeking representation for. It is also my first real stab at publishing my fiction.<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>There is a need for books that teach meaningful life lessons and are entertaining to read at the same time, aimed at the middle grade-to-young adult audience, in the marketplace. There needs to be books that teach morals and life lessons, and to not measure their self-worth by how much money they have. Many people subconsciously know that there should be books that celebrate diversity and make girls of color feel like they belong in pop-culture, consumer America. There has to be books that make teens with different skin tones, different languages, and different traditions feel like they are equal in worth, equal in chances, and equal in spirit to the blue-eyed. blond-haired majority. And that's why I wrote The Academy.<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>The complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/>Sincerely,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48675586690963651552008-03-01T20:08:00.000-05:002008-03-01T20:08:00.000-05:00Certainly in the top 50% as far as funny goes, but...Certainly in the top 50% as far as funny goes, but I doubt it'll make this year's top ten.<BR/><BR/>While it's exciting to get interest from an agent, if you're new at this you might want to make sure it's not a scam agent by checking them at Predators and Editors.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37447665898557959022008-03-01T19:56:00.000-05:002008-03-01T19:56:00.000-05:00thanks. I read somewhere that agents hated apologe...thanks. I read somewhere that agents hated apologetic tones- they think, if the author doesn't believe in their work, then why the hell are they emailing me for?<BR/><BR/>evil editor- would you say that you were extra humorouss in my query?<BR/><BR/>but hey, I sent that email query and got an interested agent.<BR/><BR/>authorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62266697065748457502008-02-27T22:23:00.000-05:002008-02-27T22:23:00.000-05:00I can't believe I missed this. Where the hell was ...I can't believe I missed this. Where the hell was I? <BR/><BR/>Oh, well.<BR/><BR/>OK- so now you've been here, and you had the courage to post your query, and good for you for doing that. Honestly. Better to be target-practice fodder here than after having sent that puppy out into the world, asking for representation.<BR/><BR/>I'm not nuts about self-congratulatory pats on the back, simply as a matter of course, so I wasn't crazy about yours in your query. But now you know more, so take that and move on, and don't worry about it. <BR/><BR/>I think others have said this - but just about anyone here has had their query reemed if it needed reeming. You're not alone, believe me. <BR/><BR/>And there's a difference, <I>quite</I> a difference, between a query desperately in need of an overhaul (which you've just been given, and that's a good thing, not a bad thing), and a bad idea, or a badly written novel. <BR/><BR/>I know it's been a major drumroll out there that to prove you can write a novel, you need to prove you can write a query. In all honesty, I think these are two different skill sets (and I think a lot of other things about this process that I'd better keep to myself). <BR/><BR/>But it's a skill that has to be learned, apparently, in order to be considered worthy of passing muster on any other level - as in having a human being read the work you've done - so there you go. You learn it.<BR/><BR/>But I really think the negative comments about the subject natter of your work can be ignored. If it's written well, it's written well. <BR/><BR/>Hope you stay around.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4724883010790842222008-02-27T22:11:00.000-05:002008-02-27T22:11:00.000-05:00Was it over when Wham! broke up? HELL NO! George M...Was it over when Wham! broke up? HELL NO! George Michael kept on pounding away! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO! Was it over when-<BR/><BR/>I'll stop, but you get the point. Writing is a journey until you reach your destination...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-16790401355730098292008-02-27T21:49:00.000-05:002008-02-27T21:49:00.000-05:00Dang, long post got lost due to Blogger maintenanc...Dang, long post got lost due to Blogger maintenance. Oh well. In a nutshell:<BR/><BR/>Chin up, writer, don't be discouraged. Every one of the true Minions has taken their beating here, it's like initiation. Welcome to the club, you're officially a Minion now.<BR/><BR/>You have a big emotional investment in this book. Okay, so stick with it. Give this story some stakes. Maybe one of the Downers needs a life-saving operation but her family doesn't have the cash and Alancia and company overcome their infighting and manipulations to raise the money for the poor girl's operation, but Kate nearly blows it or something and and they have more obstacles to overcome but somehow manage and save the day and learn their lessons or whatever, but give us a reason to root for someone here, someone to cheer for and feel good about at the end of the story, after we've lived and breathed with them for 70,000 words or so.<BR/><BR/>Don't give up, but try to learn and see what your story lacks, then rework it. This is a tough road you've chosen, but hang in there and keep at it and you'll get there. Keep hanging around here, you can learn a lot from EE and The Minions. Good luck!Wonderwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13118126631519254865noreply@blogger.com