tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8765208532762782671..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 587Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20144714884217161652009-01-03T17:36:00.000-05:002009-01-03T17:36:00.000-05:00Hey, how did you find that statue of me playing do...Hey, how did you find that statue of me playing double bass? I thought no one knew about that.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03365582623380288038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-44774839729705846962009-01-01T08:02:00.000-05:002009-01-01T08:02:00.000-05:00I think December puts it well. Anything you put i...I think December puts it well. Anything you put in the query your reader will assume is important.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-13759453401342013302009-01-01T07:23:00.000-05:002009-01-01T07:23:00.000-05:00I agree this could be a very interesting story, bu...I agree this could be a very interesting story, but the query needs some work. Why should we care about Lenore? And honestly, you don't need to tell us everything that happens on the isle. Just that she's off to find the musician so Daddy will love her.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51188720146016613382008-12-31T14:36:00.000-05:002008-12-31T14:36:00.000-05:00Hi Evil Editor (and minions),Thanks for the feedba...Hi Evil Editor (and minions),<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the feedback. The photo insert was hilarious. This was my first attempt at writing a query letter, and I hadn't shown it to anyone before so it's really helpful to know how it comes off (or doesn't).<BR/><BR/>Thanks again,<BR/><BR/>AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80563650043211319002008-12-31T13:10:00.000-05:002008-12-31T13:10:00.000-05:00Her willingness to endanger family members just to...Her willingness to endanger family members just to find this musician gives us some inkling of WHY Dad doesn't love her.<BR/><BR/>Just sayin'.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41267597705467992132008-12-31T12:03:00.000-05:002008-12-31T12:03:00.000-05:00I love writtenwyrdd's idea of Lenore being the dau...I love writtenwyrdd's idea of Lenore being the daughter of the musician and her "father" the guy who killed him--very exciting :)<BR/><BR/>We just need more plot details about the nature of the quest, and maybe fewer vague sentences about how Lenore must put her life at risk to discover what happened, etc etc. I would figure that if she's on a quest, she'll be in danger and have to use her cunning, wits, etc.Anna Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08774415814789806840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4743605951190063662008-12-31T11:41:00.000-05:002008-12-31T11:41:00.000-05:00I'm with Writtenwyrdd on thinking Lenore is the of...I'm with Writtenwyrdd on thinking Lenore is the offspring of the adultery. I'm also guessing that the man who appears to know so much may actually <I><B>be</B></I> her father.<BR/><BR/>Actually, <I><B>I</B></I> was thinking this was for a younger audience (mid teens) - even with the adultery, providing it was not stressed too much.<BR/><BR/>You caught my interest, but you have left a lot of questions. Is the figurine important (and if the musician is her father, why is it in the house) except to act as a photograph of sorts? How sick is her step-father? If he's that near death, would Lenore really go traipsing around with a resolve not to return no matter how long her quest takes?<BR/><BR/>Her nationality is important, but you don't tell us what it is. Neither do you give any real reason why lies are required and why/how she must place a member of her newfound family in danger. By the way, are these family members from her mother (where is she?), her step-father, or her real father?<BR/><BR/><I>The fact that no sane man can tell her where he is</I><BR/><BR/>That was like a slap in the face to me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to make of it, other than it must be important.<BR/><BR/><I>the fact that he may be dead won't stop Lenore from bringing him back</I><BR/><BR/>I'm not sure what to make of that. I guess it demonstrates resolve, but it doesn't make sense. In my mind, if the guy is dead then her quest instantly fails.<BR/><BR/>I have no problem with any of the questions. I just want to know the answers are there. In a query letter, I think you should provide them.<BR/><BR/>You have piqued my interest enough that I would like to read the story. <BR/><BR/>The title is <I>kinda</I> blah. If I may continue to be so bold may I suggest dropping "At Play on".<BR/><BR/>E.E. - I love the photo insert.Beviehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04285435228657659873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-13704058763644015092008-12-31T10:22:00.000-05:002008-12-31T10:22:00.000-05:00The way the letter is written, I thought the disco...The way the letter is written, I thought the discovery of the adultery and her 'long lost' family were precursors to learning she's the daughter of the musician, and her father is likely the guy who killed him. THAT I'd have liked to read; the story you show us in this letter sounds pretty dull. Now, since I'm sure you write better than that, you might want to show us in the query why your story isn't dull. What's the plot, the danger, and, as EE asks, the reason bringing a dead guy back home to dad is a good idea? (Is the dead guy a zombie? I'd love to read that, too! And if you have a zombie, that would be exciting stuff you ought to share.)writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.com