tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8262488338406104792..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 688Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46051049048700872542009-10-22T09:03:30.055-04:002009-10-22T09:03:30.055-04:00In class, Vic learns about her classmates lives, b...In class, Vic learns about her classmates lives, but the faculty don't teach about her own. Yet. Slowly she remembers and learns about herself.<br /><br />This school is in a blank space in the afterlife. They want to escape because they feel something is always missing. They hate this place - it's dull and mundane and they are going a bit mad. Basically, they want something more. They want LIFE.<br /><br />It's written in first person, so I'm not sure how to add that voice to the query. But I'll take those stats out.Lisa Aldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05423334732254639943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-34674806390897390332009-10-21T20:20:48.767-04:002009-10-21T20:20:48.767-04:00What do they learn at the school? Where is it? Why...What do they learn at the school? Where is it? Why do they need to escape? Where would they go once that happens?Ubermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15200097976135970004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75343571274112734332009-10-21T19:57:45.692-04:002009-10-21T19:57:45.692-04:00if Vic doesn't remember who she is, how does s...if Vic doesn't remember who she is, how does she know that the classes revolve around others' lives, but not her own?Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00923975835078747456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24307148176295493332009-10-21T18:36:31.618-04:002009-10-21T18:36:31.618-04:00Sounds like an interesting read to me. I do agree ...Sounds like an interesting read to me. I do agree to drop the stats and start with the story.<br /><br /><br />EE, your list was a sick scream. Enjoyed it.Robin B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11471528485010071521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17226526456342610292009-10-21T16:15:46.781-04:002009-10-21T16:15:46.781-04:00This story actually sounds really good. But I coul...This story actually sounds really good. But I could do with a bit more voice. Is it possible to infuse the query with some of Vic's sarcastic wit?Chelsea Pitcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301150715189103602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88772044707314312462009-10-21T13:44:46.539-04:002009-10-21T13:44:46.539-04:00the true origin of sock puppets
Hank Stohl? Rodney...<i>the true origin of sock puppets</i><br />Hank Stohl? Rodney and Knish? Lambchop? Shari Lewis?Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54544669609174004212009-10-21T13:17:07.577-04:002009-10-21T13:17:07.577-04:00Author here! I'll revise the name of the schoo...Author here! I'll revise the name of the school. That was more a place-holder that I haven't fixed yet. <br /><br />It's hard to describe this story. It's told from Vic's point of view and she's sarcastic and a bit of a smart ass so that brings humor to it. I'll need to revise the query to show that voice more.<br /><br />It's dark because of the content, but there's certainly humor I think. Thanks for all the great feedback.Lisa Aldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05423334732254639943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89175035039868116602009-10-21T13:08:27.455-04:002009-10-21T13:08:27.455-04:00This brought out some wonderful GTPs and I liked E...This brought out some wonderful GTPs and I liked EE's summary of your book. If that was an accurate summary then I would love to read it.<br /><br />I agree with the other commenters that suicide doesn't seem to go with Mr. Grim's Boarding School for the Criminally Deceased, although I love that name. <br /><br />Maybe you can fill us in about the plot more and make it clearer if this is funny, upbeat, dark, or whatever by the tone of your query.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36295289294233900442009-10-21T12:22:31.252-04:002009-10-21T12:22:31.252-04:00but Mr. Grim's Boarding School is less like an...<i>but Mr. Grim's Boarding School is less like an educational institution and more like a prison, full of secrets of its own.</i><br /><br />This might sound better without the comparison statements:<br /><br />but Mr. Grim's Boarding School isn't an educational institution. It's a prison full of secrets of its own.<br /><br />Or another phrase that says what the school is as opposed to what it's like.<br /><br />Hope this helps.Faceless Minionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80404026870737460102009-10-21T12:04:31.747-04:002009-10-21T12:04:31.747-04:00Take out what EE says and I think this is going to...Take out what EE says and I think this is going to be a good query.<br /><br />40,000 words? In YA? I think that's a little on the short side. I mean, I'm not going to quibble too much if you edited all the junk out of it and that's how short it was, but still...._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17741815351763908872009-10-21T11:25:50.804-04:002009-10-21T11:25:50.804-04:00As a simple matter of tact, it's best not to s...<i>As a simple matter of tact, it's best not to show new boarders the ropes until you're sure they didn't hang themselves.</i><br /><br />LOL - Good one, EE.<br /><br /><br />This is an interesting concept, but EE's right (of course) you're query reads depressingly like statistics laden non-fiction. I'm assuming your book is a lot more exciting. The trick is getting the tone of the book into the query. Good luck!Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59071779026650202282009-10-21T11:11:05.452-04:002009-10-21T11:11:05.452-04:00I have a hard time relating teen suicide to "...I have a hard time relating teen suicide to "Criminally Deceased". <br /><br />Not good.Mamehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04853842158606222286noreply@blogger.com