tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post7513649426169046076..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 794Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87628805908334279372010-07-10T10:58:31.960-04:002010-07-10T10:58:31.960-04:00I agree there's too much in there, but I also ...I agree there's too much in there, but I also think the book sounds interesting, quirky and fresh. Post a revision!Blodwynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-45923725784718505192010-07-10T10:49:36.311-04:002010-07-10T10:49:36.311-04:00King Evil,
Thank you for mapping this out for me....King Evil, <br />Thank you for mapping this out for me. Your alphabetizing with cross referenced numbers sure cleared up my questions. <br />I drew this on my wall. The arrows help. I'll photograph it before I paint the wall. <br />I'm all for an Avian Bird Flu crisis in the Pair a Keets which brings the WHO into the picture, the international group, not the other group group.<br />Like I needed to figure this out today. <br /><br />Author, it was a fun query. Take the advice. <br />Best, <br />BibiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-64863362713053912392010-07-10T04:57:39.697-04:002010-07-10T04:57:39.697-04:00This reads more like a synopsis than a query.
A q...This reads more like a synopsis than a query.<br /><br />A query should paint a picture to build interest, not play 20 questions, not produce every plot twist in detail.<br /><br />I agree with whomever said this situation wouldn't likely turn into an international incident if it actually happened.<br /><br />I get the feeling that you're positing an international incident to raise the stakes. The problem is, if Ann is your main character the stakes -for her- still aren't high.<br /><br />You only say Ann's conscience won't let her ignore it, and that she "has to know the truth." Why?<br /><br />Also, your final sentence is ominous. I get the feeling you're going to have Merino shoot Ann and end the book that way. She seems pretty naive if she thinks the threat of spreading the whole story alone will keep her safe.<br /><br />Readers don't usually sympathize with protagonists who have TSTL-syndrome (too stupid to live).M. G. E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08995766358224581297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-57200301754956073222010-07-10T02:23:38.928-04:002010-07-10T02:23:38.928-04:00My highschool-level Spanish tells me your grammar ...My highschool-level Spanish tells me your grammar is wrong. In fact, it looks as though you plugged "Are you interested?" and "Thank you for your time and consideration." into an online translator.<br /><br />I recommend you find someone who speaks the language, or better yet, just say it in English. "Cute" often isn't.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-40058227864127719252010-07-10T02:15:15.104-04:002010-07-10T02:15:15.104-04:00My Spanish is feeble, but I'm pretty sure that...My Spanish is feeble, but I'm pretty sure that last "usted" (you) should be a "su" (your).Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03317745369702853183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84548464392436571772010-07-09T18:26:46.178-04:002010-07-09T18:26:46.178-04:00Yes, there's too much detail, but...this sound...Yes, there's too much detail, but...this sounds like a book I'd like to read. And I do find it easy to care about Ann; she's intelligent, she has a pretty active conscience, she'd conflicted...what more do we need? <br /><br />It sounds as though Eduardo could be left out of the query. (I presume Eduardo is really Edalina, but I don't know if the double identity is important to put into the query.)Joanna Hoythttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13447960126998692419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-16235180701971646882010-07-09T17:35:57.570-04:002010-07-09T17:35:57.570-04:00My brain hurts.My brain hurts.Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-29717158503934284372010-07-09T13:44:49.627-04:002010-07-09T13:44:49.627-04:00I've never seen encoded birdsong as a key plot...I've never seen encoded birdsong as a key plot element -- so I think that right there is pretty cool.<br /><br /><b>HOWEVER--</b><br /><br />You have to handle it better, at least in the query. EE's questions about the mechanics of using parakeets (they had 1.44MB floppies in 1991) and the larger, more important question of What Drives Ann have to be answered. After all, Ann is an editor. Why on earth would she want to <i>prevent</i> bloodshed?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51996288320210921522010-07-09T13:32:26.345-04:002010-07-09T13:32:26.345-04:00To be a concentration camp guard in 1941/2/3/4 mea...To be a concentration camp guard in 1941/2/3/4 means that a person had to be at least 20 years old. At the fall of the Berlin wall in 1990 is 45 to 50 years away. <br /><br />I do not get the impression that any character is sufficiently old enough for your story. That lack of credibility really hurts (IMO). <br /><br />My understanding of Germany in 1991 is that Nazi's would have been immediately turned over to a court. The Germans wouldn't hesitate. Even the East Germans. <br /><br />Who is the hero at the end of the novel? Is the mysterious Eduardo finally punished? What truth about Nathan does Anna discover? Is Edalina still living? Is Nathan the equivalent of Elie Wiesel? There are lots of Holocaust chroniclers but very few with enough stature to be an international incident. <br /><br />I ask those questions because you bombarded the reader (agent) with those names. Is Edalina alive or just a memory? Did Eduardo really participate in WW2 and if so, do he and Nathan know each other? Is Nathan a survivor or is Nathan a son or grandson of a survivor with a mission? How could Nathan have suppressed or hidden memories of a love affair and be anti-Nazi? What is Anna's relationship with Nathan? <br /><br />I'm a little lost here.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39944779739848241042010-07-09T11:36:27.599-04:002010-07-09T11:36:27.599-04:00There are too many characters and too much going o...There are too many characters and too much going on. Pare it down to Ann, Nathan, and Edalina, then tell us the basics of the story and why the characters should matter to us. All we know now is that Ann is smart enough to do detective work. What sort of person is she? Why should we care about her?<br /><br />Eichmann was caught in Buenos Aires in 1961; that was a big deal. If I remember correctly, Israel rejoiced, Argentina got mad, Germany stayed out of it, and everybody else made disapproving noises about invasion of Argentina's sovereignty while quietly congratulating Israel.<br /><br />In short, I could believe someone's career going down the toilet over an affair with a Nazi. I'm hesitant to believe it'd be an international incident.<br /><br />But what needs to happen most here is simplification. This isn't a soap opera. Keep it simple._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.com