tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post7317377870277627188..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 517Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70806462910401666692008-04-19T22:32:00.000-04:002008-04-19T22:32:00.000-04:00My comments are vanishing again. I had said that I...My comments are vanishing again. I had said that I assumed the kid forged a parental name on the lease and used some of his stolen lunch money to hire some homeless guy to pose as his father for interviews.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-86198484228387970502008-04-19T17:13:00.000-04:002008-04-19T17:13:00.000-04:00I don't buy into the boy learning not to be a bull...I don't buy into the boy learning not to be a bully--what about the situation prompts him to confront the bully inside himself? Seems like wishful thinking to me.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-78012742200194162352008-04-19T13:13:00.000-04:002008-04-19T13:13:00.000-04:00I didn't get that he lived alone either. I just as...I didn't get that he lived alone either. I just assumed that his parents were there but not central to the story.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-61379147080402799662008-04-19T03:43:00.000-04:002008-04-19T03:43:00.000-04:00This has monster scope and works well as a query.B...This has monster scope and works well as a query.<BR/><BR/>BUT—while I'm perfectly OK with monsters romping around all over the place, it's a fantasy premise that needs a rock solid foundation upon which to rest and I don't think the Home Alone 12 year old will wash.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74454600899030263412008-04-18T22:35:00.000-04:002008-04-18T22:35:00.000-04:00Maybe I'm the only one, but I assumed the parents ...Maybe I'm the only one, but I assumed the parents or parent also being homeless was a gimme. Also I assumed it was just a phrasing choice and that Mo was just being self-centric, you know, the world revolving around him and his problems.<BR/><BR/>Overall, the concept sounds pretty interesting.<BR/><BR/>JodiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-42559840038182596482008-04-18T18:07:00.000-04:002008-04-18T18:07:00.000-04:00I don't know what an agent would think of a possib...I don't know what an agent would think of a possible logic flaw, pjd, but if I saw that on the back of a book jacket, I would probably debate on the author's skill or lack thereof. Might keep me from buying the book. But she'd have the second chance at that point, because if I picked it up, I'd probably look at the first page.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89569624991093309182008-04-18T18:06:00.000-04:002008-04-18T18:06:00.000-04:00Basically a very good query.Basically a very good query.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11582419222397545882008-04-18T16:48:00.000-04:002008-04-18T16:48:00.000-04:00We're worried that there is no explanation, that t...We're worried that there is no explanation, that the author assumes middle grade readers won't see a problem with the premise of a 12-yr.-old moving into an apartment alone. <BR/><BR/>One well-known agent was occasionally seen rejecting crap(o-meter) submissions when she didn't buy the premise.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73911234115468351242008-04-18T16:47:00.000-04:002008-04-18T16:47:00.000-04:00pjd - deefinitely a fair point, but given that a *...pjd - deefinitely a fair point, but given that a *lot* of us are thinking the same question, I'd say the query writer would be wise at least to consider whether that reason couldn't be included without destroying the balance of the letter. It's an obvious weak point, and eliminating that could leave the query pretty much impervious to agent nitpicking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10023965780975170782008-04-18T16:26:00.000-04:002008-04-18T16:26:00.000-04:00give some sort of hint about how you handle it in ...<I>give some sort of hint about how you handle it in the book since several of us are getting hung up on that point</I><BR/><BR/>But all of you hung up on this point... if you were in an agent's shoes, would this keep you from requesting a partial? I'm thinking you might still request the partial, in which case the questions could be answered in the first 30 pages of the story.<BR/><BR/>I'm concerned that if the author tries to stick in the explanation for this point, it'll throw the query off focus or out of voice, doing more harm than good.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39049055987458824482008-04-18T16:09:00.000-04:002008-04-18T16:09:00.000-04:00It's funny what people are willing to believe and ...It's funny what people are willing to believe and not believe. I, too, was completely willing to accept monsters in an apartment complex, but not a twelve-year-old kid living alone. You might want to give some sort of hint about how you handle it in the book since several of us are getting hung up on that point.<BR/><BR/>Good luck.Deborah K. Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06015248910515441842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35896284669965772252008-04-18T15:19:00.000-04:002008-04-18T15:19:00.000-04:00My only concern would be labeling it as a coming-o...My only concern would be labeling it as a coming-of-age story. I've read a lot of agents saying that is a turn-off. It's a bit cliche, and the story is clearly a coming-of-age one, so I don't think you need to call it such.<BR/><BR/>Fun premise, and I agree that a homeless twelve-year-old sounds odd in a query, but could probably be explained in a playful enough book.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54466165124293366662008-04-18T14:51:00.000-04:002008-04-18T14:51:00.000-04:00I'd read it. I did think parts of it sounded a bit...I'd read it. <BR/><BR/>I did think parts of it sounded a bit too coincidental - like the Monster name and the 'Monster' Apartments. Makes it sound a bit on the hokey side.<BR/><BR/>Looks like a few minor tweaks and you're good to go.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47206330723579955802008-04-18T14:36:00.000-04:002008-04-18T14:36:00.000-04:00Reminds me a little bit of Where the Wild Things A...Reminds me a little bit of Where the Wild Things Are. I like the minotaur as the bully monster.<BR/><BR/>I don't agree with the first anon's advice of making it all a dream.<BR/><BR/>The way the query's written, I think I'd take on faith the details that get him homeless and into his own apartment. After all, there are monsters living there, so something's already amiss. I'd read it. Well done.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-64686423368460796182008-04-18T13:29:00.000-04:002008-04-18T13:29:00.000-04:00Yay! I was hoping this would come up soon. The aut...Yay! I was hoping this would come up soon. The author is in my online critique group. I know she's in Florida vacationing right now, but I hope she gets a chance to log in!!<BR/>The story is really good. I hope she posts the beginning.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32765504761942080612008-04-18T12:56:00.000-04:002008-04-18T12:56:00.000-04:00I too thought it acceptable to live with monsters ...I too thought it acceptable to live with monsters but not alone at the age of twelve. We do have child services...Scott from Oregonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01331284708780612453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-64121361543694515742008-04-18T12:32:00.000-04:002008-04-18T12:32:00.000-04:00This sounds like it could be a neat kids' book. T...This sounds like it could be a neat kids' book. The thing that snagged my attention and raised questions was that the kid's called Monster and he gets sent to the Monster Apartments. A bit too coincidental for me.<BR/><BR/>I like that you say this book is fun; but it sounds a little dark. The "before you can spit" paragraph does lighten the mood a little bit. However, it doesn't really answer the question as to how Mo must solve his problems, or what the problems specifically are. I think maybe just a little bit more about what's at stake and the struggle Mo goes through might be added-- in particular something that makes the book sound more like the fun romp you say it is.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89319386518435295722008-04-18T11:56:00.000-04:002008-04-18T11:56:00.000-04:00Gosh, I'd read it.Gosh, I'd read it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-69099611486252990762008-04-18T11:21:00.000-04:002008-04-18T11:21:00.000-04:00Yeah, the premise is too loose for the age group, ...Yeah, the premise is too loose for the age group, as EE said. Maybe it could all be a dream, after which he wakes up and is a good boy.<BR/><BR/>Good letter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com