tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post6892555147347943176..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 364Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46470061543325556842007-06-30T20:07:00.000-04:002007-06-30T20:07:00.000-04:00You're on the right track, Sylvia. Sendoa is indee...You're on the right track, Sylvia. Sendoa is indeed ready to turn away.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82389110991950470702007-06-30T09:00:00.000-04:002007-06-30T09:00:00.000-04:00I also live in Spain and I disagree with Karen. I ...I also live in Spain and I disagree with Karen. I mean, I agree that painting the ETA as freedom fighters will leave a sour taste in the mouth of a lot of people but the nastiness and fear and violence that your story starts with makes no sense for the Catalans.<BR/><BR/>However, I do think you need to give the ETA a bit more personality in your query: good or bad but at the moment it feels very indifferent. Yet Another Political Party, where I suspect the majority of Canadians know very little about the issues and the causes.<BR/><BR/>Personally, I'd like to see Sendoa sickened by the violence and turning away from the group whilst still believing in the concept. That would give more merit to the consideration of melting away...Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05925593802209715440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10157834578973704402007-06-29T00:10:00.000-04:002007-06-29T00:10:00.000-04:00My pen name is on my blog! My real name is kinda l...My pen name is on my blog! My real name is kinda lame.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47841316257153804342007-06-28T17:17:00.000-04:002007-06-28T17:17:00.000-04:00Hooray, Chumplet! But isn't is time to start marke...Hooray, Chumplet! But isn't is time to start marketing your real name?! The way December Quinn is now starting to combine her pen name with her real name = December/Stacia. Or do we look for you by "Chumplet" on Wild Rose Press? :o)<BR/><BR/>(PS: Just checked out your profile -- we could be twins! Age, Zodiac sign, LOTR, Steely Dan and The Who ... it's like my pofile's looking in the mirror!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-34717491030698357792007-06-28T14:48:00.000-04:002007-06-28T14:48:00.000-04:00Phoenix, you rock. You really do. This is extremel...Phoenix, you rock. You really do. This is extremely helpful. I appreciate the efforts of EE and all the minions, since you all helped immensely with my first 'Face Lift' (Face Lift 36). That novel is being released digitally next week.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-3063247810496941462007-06-28T12:58:00.000-04:002007-06-28T12:58:00.000-04:00Hi Chumplet:If a critiquer really wants to help a ...Hi Chumplet:<BR/><BR/>If a critiquer really wants to help a critiquee, it usually works well to be exposed to the work first without background and then to get the author's explanations. That way we can say, "Going into it cold as an agent/editor would, these are the issues I see," then we can look at the author's take and maybe help bridge the gap between where the writing is and where the author wants it to be. So I'm all for author interaction.<BR/><BR/>In this case, knowing you consider the book primarily romance, my suggestion would be to be sure you cover the story arc of the Hero and Heroine in this. What draws them together and what keeps them apart? I really don't get that vital romantic interplay from this query. Here's my idea for the query's outline, emphasizing the romance (sorry, this is extremely rough, but may give you an idea of where I'm coming from):<BR/><BR/>When the poignant symbol of the Basque plight, Picasso's Weeping Woman, is stolen from a Barcelona museum, negotiations for its return result in murder. Vacationing Amanda, a non-political airhead, not only witnesses the murder and inadvertently learns where the painting is stashed, but gets caught up in the Basque struggle. <BR/><BR/>She meets Basque freedom fighter, Sendoa, and becomes drawn to his passion for the movement, appreciating how he reviles the violence associated. That's when Foster, the murderer, targets Amanda and Sendoa, putting them to flight across the Pyrenees. Escaping close calls with Foster's men as they search for the painting leaves little time for Amanda and Sendoa to explore the attraction so obvious between them, but it does give Amanda time to learn to appreciate Sendoa's side of things. By the time A & S locate the painting, Amanda is convinced the Basque struggle is a worthwhile one -- and that some things are worth the fight. <BR/><BR/>Together, A & S steal back the painting and do whatever they do to Foster. And Amanda, bippy airhead no longer, decides to stay in Spain and help Sendoa realize his dream.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66627053611785028042007-06-28T11:22:00.000-04:002007-06-28T11:22:00.000-04:00Karen, there is a Canadian consulate in Barcelona,...Karen, there is a Canadian consulate in Barcelona, and my main character is Canadian.<BR/><BR/>I had the great fortune to live in Spain -- I love the country, but it was during the 70's and you can imagine what times were like then.<BR/><BR/>At the risk of annoying those who don't like the author to 'explain', I'll clarify that this is primarily a romance, and the political stuff is only background. There's a fine line between preaching and telling a story, and I'd rather just tell the story.<BR/><BR/>A funny coincidence -- I recently discovered that my great-grandmother was a Basque.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84401051547956824122007-06-28T10:29:00.000-04:002007-06-28T10:29:00.000-04:00This is all very helpful. Thanks.This is all very helpful. Thanks.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76877015950481229332007-06-28T08:39:00.000-04:002007-06-28T08:39:00.000-04:00The first version was better sounding, despite all...The first version was better sounding, despite all the problems. In this version, I do not find anything that makes me like anyone or want to know more.<BR/><BR/>I agree, the bumbling terrorists sounded at least accessible. That was a relationship between the woman and her captors that felt like it had potential for a story; whereas this version doesn't really give me any of that stuff.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10619544996265614132007-06-28T03:37:00.000-04:002007-06-28T03:37:00.000-04:00Actually, there is no American Embassy in Barcelon...Actually, there is no American Embassy in Barcelona. It's in Madrid.<BR/><BR/>I live in Spain, and I have to say from the point of view of people here (not that it matters, I guess, as they're not your audience) a book where Basque "freedom fighters" (AKA ETA) are painted the long-suffering heroes will taste a bit sour. The tenth anniversary of an ETA bombing in Barcelona not far from where I live just passed-- and it still stings.<BR/><BR/>Maybe your heroine should join up with the Catalans. They want their freedom, too, but they're pretty non-violent about it. I find seeing them as helpful heroes much more believable.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16464886520985123626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73281943590483465962007-06-27T21:46:00.000-04:002007-06-27T21:46:00.000-04:00The treatment of the mystery & crime stuff here do...The treatment of the mystery & crime stuff here doesn't seem very tight or sophisticated, so I'm guessing you'd do best to call it a Romance with a thriller subplot, rather than visa versa. <BR/><BR/>It's my impression that you're very keen on the Basque cause and hope to rouse international sympathy and understanding through this book. A noble cause, I'm sure, but your basic American doesn't know a Basque from a sofa. Also, thanks to the blatant fiasco of Iraq, "freedom fighters" of every variety are currently viewed with a great deal of "good luck, buddy, can't help ya" skepticism. War stories have consistently bombed at the box office in recent years [with the notable exception of 300, which, alas, doesn't help you because it has nothng in common with this story]. <BR/><BR/>What does this mean for you? It means you're much more likely to sell the book despite the Basque thing, rather than because of it. All the more reason to pitch it as a romance and let the political Basque connection be discovered through reading the manuscript. Like in Dr. Zhivago. <BR/><BR/>Also, nobody's going to waste their money on a couple of heros who don't immediately embark on the obvious rescue mission and then just bumble into the correct town [can they not read maps, or what?] and then still are plagued with indecision about whether to do the right thing or not. You might dally around like that, but you're not a character in a book.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-13808084648529550852007-06-27T14:08:00.000-04:002007-06-27T14:08:00.000-04:00I suppose I should see the movie 'Memento'.I suppose I should see the movie 'Memento'.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48018511657301284182007-06-27T14:05:00.000-04:002007-06-27T14:05:00.000-04:00Mr. Evil, I thought you were smart, but now I know...Mr. Evil, I thought you were smart, but now I know you're even smarter. For what it's worth, I know how the story ends.<BR/><BR/>Pete, you're right about the background stuff. Good call.<BR/><BR/>Bernita, the bad dude has a lot of control in Barcelona and the embassy there won't do any good so they're going to Bilbao.<BR/><BR/>Dave, great lesson on Guernica! Fascinating stuff, and a lot of people are unaware of the history behind the Basque struggle. All they see in the news is ETA.<BR/><BR/>The Tree of Guernica survived the bombing, but it was sickly, so was replaced a few times. Think of the White Tree in Lord of the Rings.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37626705909833732372007-06-27T13:58:00.000-04:002007-06-27T13:58:00.000-04:00I liked my GTP where the guy had a speech impedime...<I>I liked my GTP where the guy had a speech impediment. EE must have a bias against me!</I><BR/><BR/>Here you go: <BR/><BR/>A man with a speech impediment describes his recurring dream to his roommate. IN the dream, Julius Caesar has returned to his farm and is harvesting crops. Also, Paris Hilton goes to jail.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62740348592683075552007-06-27T13:34:00.000-04:002007-06-27T13:34:00.000-04:00I thought the weeping woman was going to turn out ...I thought the weeping woman was going to turn out to be Kristin Nelson.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60207892567594049392007-06-27T13:33:00.001-04:002007-06-27T13:33:00.001-04:00It's always a bad sign when so many people reading...It's always a bad sign when so many people reading a query or synopsis keep mentioning the movie 'Memento'.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36004625872937002352007-06-27T13:33:00.000-04:002007-06-27T13:33:00.000-04:00I liked my GTP where the guy had a speech impedime...I liked my GTP where the guy had a speech impediment. EE must have a bias against me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20898901410757597942007-06-27T13:31:00.000-04:002007-06-27T13:31:00.000-04:00I actually like the old version (Beyond Ordino?) b...I actually like the old version (Beyond Ordino?) better. Is this really the same book with bumbling terrorists replaced by greedy art dealers? Or am I being had?<BR/><BR/>BTW, that GTP from the original was a brilliant performance by the author, the GTPers, EE and also the commenters...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21208801394916258592007-06-27T13:04:00.000-04:002007-06-27T13:04:00.000-04:00Back in the 80's, the Museum of Modern Art in NYC ...Back in the 80's, the Museum of Modern Art in NYC held a retrospective of Picasso's paintings. <BR/>The painting, Guernica, occupied <B>one</B> wall of a gallery <B>all by itself</B>. People would walk in the door and stop as they faced the immense canvas. It is nearly 12 feet high and 25 feet long. The emotional impact of the painting is astounding. None of the patrons were prepared for the image on the wall. The Weeping Woman and the other studies for Guernica were on the back wall of the gallery where the door was. So I saw both pictures. <BR/>Picasso's Last Will & Testament specified that Guenica only return to Spain when it became a democracy. <BR/><BR/>For anyone who doesn't know what the picture commemorates, the NAzi's bombed and destroyed 3/4's the Town of Guernica in April 1937. This was viewed as a terror bombing.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84270427546764845352007-06-27T12:35:00.000-04:002007-06-27T12:35:00.000-04:00Aren't there embassies in Barcelona?If your life i...Aren't there embassies in Barcelona?<BR/>If your life is in danger, the fate of a painting, no matter how iconic, doesn't seem like much of a dilemma.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9914376821001594792007-06-27T12:32:00.000-04:002007-06-27T12:32:00.000-04:00To me, reading this felt a lot like watching the m...To me, reading this felt a lot like watching the movie Memento. (A movie I loved, but not a good model for a query letter.)<BR/><BR/>EE's rewrite is excellent. You don't need all the art history in the beginning; everyone knows that an original Picasso is worth a lot and might be stolen. We also don't need a lot of background on the others (<I>e.g.</I> the paragraph about Sendoa's family history).<BR/><BR/>I love the GTP about the pop-up book. That's some pop-up book!PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.com