tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post6842892819342877860..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 692Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-52709565005290134722009-10-31T01:18:41.668-04:002009-10-31T01:18:41.668-04:00I'm a little worried about merk giving inhuman...I'm a little worried about merk giving inhuman powers ... does that mean it's going to wind up being post-apocalyptic crack? Is Jetta queen of the drug dealers? Or is it going to turn out that merk is really rainwater and people are so hopped up on radioactivity that they don't recognize health when they see it?<br /><br />It all sounds a little too Dune to me, but I'm not a post-apocalyptic fantasy reader so that might be OK for everyone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-15236754304884228312009-10-30T23:26:38.091-04:002009-10-30T23:26:38.091-04:00The thing I didn't get from the query was merk...The thing I didn't get from the query was merk as a currency. Knowing it's used as one makes sense and clarifies the story.Polenthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14029549865473069051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-68328284651216730862009-10-30T22:44:03.488-04:002009-10-30T22:44:03.488-04:00I pig out on truffles.
A couple years ago I poste...I pig out on truffles.<br /><br />A couple years ago I posted a query on here and felt the response was so negative I pretty much let it go. (I also got lazy.) Then I came back about 6 months later and realized they weren't all that bad and that I was just too attached to my own brilliance.<br /><br />Good luck with it.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38001462560918552712009-10-30T20:20:33.183-04:002009-10-30T20:20:33.183-04:00I think a book about a truffle pig could be cool.I think a book about a truffle pig could be cool.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76158315578573620752009-10-30T20:13:49.300-04:002009-10-30T20:13:49.300-04:00EE-No, no, I definitely appreciated your comments,...EE-No, no, I definitely appreciated your comments, and didn't interpret any of your comments as negative. <br /><br />Nor yours, FacelessMinion. I appreciate the questions and constructive criticism.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was expecting people to shower me with praise. Not at all. :) But I guess I'm feeling the pressure to get this query right. There are a lot of world building aspects and it's hard to know what to put into the query and what not to.<br /><br />That said, I am working furiously on a new version, which I will post asap. <br /><br />Thanks to all.Renee Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170818341212519937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5909598307208892552009-10-30T19:42:17.655-04:002009-10-30T19:42:17.655-04:00Don't be discouraged.
Also, I apologize if I ...Don't be discouraged.<br /><br />Also, I apologize if I came across as negative, that wasn't my intention.<br /><br />The merk seems like more of a plot element than just a MacGuffin, but I wasn't sure if it needs to be more than that in the query. Mentioning that it can be used as currency to buy her way to freedom might help.Faceless Minionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-25685235848991757972009-10-30T19:24:04.746-04:002009-10-30T19:24:04.746-04:00Hey, I didn't say anything bad about it. I jus...Hey, <i>I</i> didn't say anything bad about it. I just suggested a few fix-ups and asked a few plot questions. Letting us know she doesn't want the merk to gain inhuman powers, but just to gain transport/bodyguard/etc. is a helpful bit of info.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89418469407190082982009-10-30T19:14:05.046-04:002009-10-30T19:14:05.046-04:00FacelessMinion-Yes, I see what you are saying. And...FacelessMinion-Yes, I see what you are saying. And I should clarify in the query that others are trying to find it. It's just in a very dangerous location, and it will be much faster to find if you have the ability. However, it is a race for the reserve in many ways.<br /><br />I will definitely post a new version when I have one. <br /><br />Pacatrue-A kind word! Thank you! I definitely appreciate it. (I was starting to feel pretty discouraged, to tell the truth.)Renee Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170818341212519937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88188241252741822302009-10-30T18:50:51.209-04:002009-10-30T18:50:51.209-04:00This sounds like a good story, and the query is qu...This sounds like a good story, and the query is quite clear; however, the voice here just doesn't put me in Jetta's corner. (Though it doesn't at all make me root against her.) Like Dave said, it needs more heart.Xiexiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265895952183646895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12571440255963773002009-10-30T17:50:27.836-04:002009-10-30T17:50:27.836-04:00Wow, almost all negative comments. I liked it over...Wow, almost all negative comments. I liked it over all. Just clarify what the plan is, which should give her and the plot motion.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8498994484101162072009-10-30T17:21:27.559-04:002009-10-30T17:21:27.559-04:00Eric P.- Yeah, I was being sarcastic. She's de...Eric P.- Yeah, I was being sarcastic. She's definitely human. <br /><br />Also . . . slavery isn't exactly plush living arrangements, but you have a point. It is a harsh world for a young girl traveling by herself. In fact that's the reason she's never tried to escape before. <br /><br />However with a lot of merk, which is essentially currency among survivors, she could purchase a little security: guns, transportation, a body guard, etc and make her break for the mountains. That's her plan. That's why she has to get the reserve first.Renee Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170818341212519937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91871773878221170682009-10-30T17:12:39.290-04:002009-10-30T17:12:39.290-04:00I think it is clear that the ability to find merk ...I think it is clear that the ability to find merk is rare. What isn't clear is how big "huge reserve" is and if there's something else that would stop people from finding such a thing should they suspect it exists. People can't mutationally sense gold (unless you know something I don't) but it hasn't stopped them from finding it by other means.<br /><br />If you weren't referring to my comment, the above might not apply.<br /><br />If you're interested in more feedback, feel free to post revisions.Faceless Minionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46156175619409336732009-10-30T16:50:08.353-04:002009-10-30T16:50:08.353-04:00Wait, what?... "She is a truffle pig"?!?...Wait, what?... "She <i>is</i> a truffle pig"?!?!?<br /><br />You're kidding, right?<br /><br />If not, you <i>definitely</i> didn't make that clear enough in your query. Try mentioning it; that might help. <br /><br />(Usually when someone says "seventeen-year-old" we assume "seventeen-year-old <i>human</i>"... speciesist, I know, but what can you do?)<br /><br />Otherwise, I second EE's comments and Dave's. Clarify the "plan" and show us why we should care. <br /><br />I also don't see what exactly the benefit is of being "free" in a post-apocalyptic world-- given the choice between a life of security with regular meals provided and a life as a fugitive alone in a hostile, barren wilderness running from mutant killer dogs, where's the appeal?Eric P.http://www.ericpazdziora.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1928959929550323022009-10-30T15:48:10.948-04:002009-10-30T15:48:10.948-04:00Thanks for the comments, especially you EE. I'...Thanks for the comments, especially you EE. I'll give this some thought for sure. <br /><br />I guess I should clarify in the query that not everyone is able to find merk. It's a rare mutation, so very few can.<br /><br />Anon 12:57-Yes, she <i>is</i> a truffle pig! Didn't I make that clear enough in the query?Renee Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170818341212519937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73791633057203813292009-10-30T15:15:18.646-04:002009-10-30T15:15:18.646-04:00This is a little bit like that roller skating post...This is a little bit like that roller skating post-apocalyptic kids-digging-holes-in-the-desert movie I once wasted a few hours on... I'm trying to remember the name from out of the zombiefied fog that surrounds the memory... Solarbabies. On roller skates no less, woo-hoo what a thrill that was (my eyes roll)... <br /><br />This query needs some heart. We have to like or adore or love or feel sympathy for Jetta and her search for Merk the magical liquid. Now if she saves the world and restores some form of civilization, that would be neat. But you didn't say that in the query.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-69726602270538671722009-10-30T12:57:45.099-04:002009-10-30T12:57:45.099-04:00I'm not seeing why it has to be her. Is she a...I'm not seeing why it has to be her. Is she actually an animal? Sounds like maybe the plot is based on trifles of a truffle dog. Or do they use pigs?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37638030880764162352009-10-30T12:53:07.742-04:002009-10-30T12:53:07.742-04:00My first thought on seeing the GTP for this was th...My first thought on seeing the GTP for this was that I'd read it somewhere before. I'm not sure why :/<br />____<br /><br />A few things that didn't work for me in the query:<br /><br />If there are still people in the ruins of Denver, I wouldn't classify them as abandoned.<br /><br />Why would there be a reserve of merk? Why doesn't Dagan go after it?<br /><br />Can merk heal people without giving them inhuman powers, or are all those healed sick people now mutants with inhuman powers? Or does merk affect dogs differently? Do mutations remain if/after the powers fade?<br /><br />Why doesn't she just head for the mountains?Faceless Minionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49812279602392037712009-10-30T11:49:48.804-04:002009-10-30T11:49:48.804-04:00"commodity in it’s hidden places."
ITS...."commodity in it’s hidden places."<br /><br />ITS. Please._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.com