tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post6586516513722117434..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 518Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-19471063617740460362008-04-22T15:05:00.000-04:002008-04-22T15:05:00.000-04:00talpianna: Thanks for the information. I never th...talpianna: Thanks for the information. I never thought "juvenile" was pejorative, but I'm an old fogie.<BR/><BR/>I like that first plot, too. Maybe I can work it into Book 2.<BR/><BR/>You certainly should get ice floe cred. I know quite a bit about Svalbard now, even though it's not a location used in the book. Once I found out Pullman used it, I made up my own island.<BR/><BR/>freddie: Sorry you don't like the title, but more than one agent (along with a rejection) said they loved the title. I think I'll stick with it for now. I checked on Amazon and there isn't any other book with the same title.Cellophane Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08166797508899835493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-18778975733581545872008-04-21T20:53:00.000-04:002008-04-21T20:53:00.000-04:00Like the idea. Like what I know about the plot. Th...Like the idea. Like what I know about the plot. <BR/><BR/>The title? Not so much.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03365582623380288038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-29776352454013612412008-04-21T20:51:00.000-04:002008-04-21T20:51:00.000-04:00NOTICE: I posted about this before. If you use t...NOTICE: I posted about this before. If you use the preview function, the Publish function under the Preview yellow box won't work; you have to go back and use the Publish button under the Leave your comment box.<BR/><BR/>Since the late 1960s, I have been involved with a fanzine that was largely devoted to fantasy. The commonest term for fantasy aimed at what are now middle-school readers (we didn't even have that term back then!), like the Chronicles of Narnia, was juvenile fantasy; that meant for older kids, like Tamora Pierce's books, was called Young Adult fantasy. There was no negative connotation attached to "juvenile."<BR/><BR/>I know someone who has actually been to Svalbard. Does that give me any more street (or ice floe) cred?<BR/><BR/>I do wish someone would write #1!talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6983976876503898812008-04-21T16:27:00.000-04:002008-04-21T16:27:00.000-04:00Anon 2:53 here. Yeah, I could be wrong about the ...Anon 2:53 here. Yeah, I could be wrong about the fantasy thing. It's just that I was thinking that I'm pretty sure there are more kids book writers that shun fantasy than those that represent it. That may not even be true! If it true, though, I was thinking you could get away with NOT having "fantasy" in your query. I thought it might get a few extra fair shakes from agents that way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91217633865230262922008-04-21T15:34:00.000-04:002008-04-21T15:34:00.000-04:00If you are aiming for around thirteen, you can cal...If you are aiming for around thirteen, you can call it transitional middle grade. Not quite YA, but not young middle grade, either.<BR/><BR/>I've seen a lot of agents say that they like "reality based fantasy," meaning fantasy set in this world (Harry Potter, Diane Duane's Young Wizards, etc). This distinguishes it from high fantasy, where the world and the people (species?) in it are unconnected to ours. So, judging from your description, you could justify this as a reality based fantasy.<BR/><BR/>If you want to avoid sending up Pullman warning flags, you should just leave out mentioning the polar bears in the query. I'm sure that they are nothing like his in your actual manuscript, so there wouldn't be a problem.Kiersten Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05780265683043033609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54146193915281870122008-04-21T15:11:00.000-04:002008-04-21T15:11:00.000-04:00Anonymous: Interesting thoughts. I thought the pr...Anonymous: Interesting thoughts. I thought the presence of magic and magical beings made it fantasy. It might be called paranormal, but that always implied horror to me.<BR/><BR/>Epic fantasy (which this is not) certainly involves world-building, which is why there are so many 600-page novels.<BR/><BR/>I'd certainly entertain the idea of a different genre. What the heck! Suggest away!Cellophane Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08166797508899835493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66135424880887497722008-04-21T14:53:00.000-04:002008-04-21T14:53:00.000-04:00Shoot. That confirms that my other comments were ...Shoot. That confirms that my other comments were eaten. Here's what I tried to say. It'll probably sound grumpier the second time around.<BR/><BR/>I don't think this sounds like fantasy. Fantasy, to me involves complex world-building, creepy thingamabobber peoples, bizzare rituals and confusing social mores (yeah, I'm not a fantasy reader).<BR/><BR/>This story seems more like a straight-ahead kids story with a few supernatural but not too heavy characters. It's like calling 'Star Wars' a sci-fi story when it's really just an adventure (it has more in common with Westerns than Sci-fi).<BR/><BR/>I think this is an important distinction because Fantasy is a wedge genre for many agents. Some (most?) will read the first paragraph, say "I don't do fantasy" and stop reading. Others will say "Fantasy, that's my bag!" but then read on and find that it isn't really fantasy at all.<BR/><BR/>Or I could be wrong. That's my take on it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37608875269785712332008-04-21T13:53:00.000-04:002008-04-21T13:53:00.000-04:00Did this comment come through? Maybe I shouldn't ...Did this comment come through? Maybe I shouldn't 'preview' my comments.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5462311270931188872008-04-21T13:14:00.000-04:002008-04-21T13:14:00.000-04:00Thanks to everybody for the good suggestions.I hav...Thanks to everybody for the good suggestions.<BR/><BR/>I have, indeed, tossed out many of the egregious parts.<BR/><BR/>It's a shame about Pullman's book, since I finished writing this before the movie brought my attention to the Arctic connection. So, I'm not a copycat. I have it on kid-authority that Pullman also misplaced Svalbard. I'm still avoiding his books so as to not be derivative.<BR/><BR/>I used the Arctic setting since much of the action takes place in Norway. That's where the trolls come in. While the Barents is big, as EE points out, Galdurheim is less than a hundred miles off the Norwegian coast. A lot of the fairytale concept is Scandinavian, but not the Thor/Odin stuff.<BR/><BR/>Rune is Katya's half-brother. His father is a vampire. Her father is stuck in the glacier. Yes, the evil shaman is related to Dad.<BR/><BR/>I'll use middle grade then, although the 13+ also falls within YA guidelines.<BR/><BR/>Again, many thanks (mange takk) for the comments.Cellophane Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08166797508899835493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90040089112232239382008-04-21T13:05:00.000-04:002008-04-21T13:05:00.000-04:00"When you're the writer of magical formulae, one m..."When you're the writer of magical formulae, one misspelled word can lead to disaster. When Laurelei's teensy mistake leads to a smoking crater where the Imperial Palace used to stand, the surviving royal heir takes exception."<BR/><BR/>By all means, nancy, go ahead and write that one. I came up with it, but I'm not good at funny stuff. <BR/><BR/>Oh, and Marva, my apologies. How in the world I ended up with katya...writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-63481948570589022882008-04-21T12:20:00.000-04:002008-04-21T12:20:00.000-04:00My main concern is the title.I can't help thinking...My main concern is the title.<BR/><BR/>I can't help thinking it's been done, and when I toyed with a fake plot, it was the first stone I turned over.<BR/><BR/>Having read the synopsis and salivated over the possibilities of werewolves, vampires, zombies and ex-trolls on ice, I suspect there's a better title for this.<BR/><BR/>That said — I like the sound of this and I'm guessing it will read better once revised.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67185972948143545012008-04-21T12:00:00.000-04:002008-04-21T12:00:00.000-04:00I'm not saying you can't sell this story, katya, b...I'm not saying you can't sell this story, katya, but to my ears, anyhow, the elements seem like a smorgasbord with borscht. Sort of dont' go together. Doesn't mean it won't work; but I think you need to get Siberia, ex-trolls, half-vampires and spellcasting to sound like they belong together or leave the terminology out. Do we need to know the boyfriend's an ex-troll or that her brother's a half-vampire?<BR/><BR/>I think you have the elements of a good fantasy adventure, in particular with that set up of the family curse. Perhaps you might add in the consequences of failure to give it a more emotional punch? That, and whatever emotional conflict your hero is experiencing?<BR/><BR/>That you set this in Polar regions makes me think a bit of Philip Pullman, which could be good or bad, depending on how you carry it off.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47933309487202882272008-04-21T11:31:00.000-04:002008-04-21T11:31:00.000-04:00I'd focus on the adventure as much as the magic. R...I'd focus on the adventure as much as the magic. Right now, you're focused on the magic side but if I'm guessing right, the story is an adventure of her crossing the Arctic with the good creatures and battling the bad creatures. <BR/><BR/>I am also guessing that her brother is her half-brother and that his father is a vampire and her father was related to the frozen magician. They share a normal mother.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43477636133861354682008-04-21T11:21:00.000-04:002008-04-21T11:21:00.000-04:00When you're the writer of magical formulae, one mi...<I>When you're the writer of magical formulae, one misspelled word can lead to disaster. When Laurelei's teensy mistake leads to a smoking crater where the Imperial Palace used to stand, the surviving royal heir takes exception.</I><BR/><BR/>Somebody please write this one - sounds like it could be a real hoot. ("But, Sire, who thought spelling it as 'L-O-O-S-E' when I meant 'L-O-S-E' would blow up the castle?")<BR/><BR/>Anyway...juvenile fantasy? I haven't heard it called anything like that. Maybe it's YA (Young Adult, although I doubt it at 44,000 words). MG? (Middle grade?) Maybe those who actually write that can come up with something more intelligent where that's concerned than I can.<BR/><BR/>What EE pointed out also confused me. Are you talking about the shaman or the father's body being encased in a glacier? What's up with the shield - and why do we need to know about it?<BR/><BR/>And the ex-troll (as pjd said, was he stripped of his, um, trollism somehow?) - how does he figure in this story? To me, it seems as if that's just kind of tacked on.<BR/><BR/>I'd also be careful of word choices; make sure you choose the words that mean what you want to say.<BR/><BR/>I like the title, BTW. :-)<BR/><BR/>Good luck!Nancy Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06214579721075450777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12458326002698732622008-04-21T11:18:00.000-04:002008-04-21T11:18:00.000-04:00We usually see middle grade here if it's suitable ...We usually see middle grade here if it's suitable for those under the young adult ages.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46155920946459326672008-04-21T11:13:00.000-04:002008-04-21T11:13:00.000-04:00Thanks for the shredding. Good ideas.First senten...Thanks for the shredding. Good ideas.<BR/><BR/>First sentence leads from "You represented blah blah." That changes as needed. Any suggestions on what to call it rather than juvenile, when the age range is ten and up? <BR/><BR/>I have fixed a few of those problems while waiting to reach the top of the list. <BR/><BR/>Back to the the query for another round.<BR/><BR/>Love the Guess the Plots. Folks are very clever here. I feel like writing a different book based on one of them.<BR/><BR/>pjd: It's all explained in the book how a troll becomes an ex-troll. Nobody but a few beta readers will ever know.Cellophane Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08166797508899835493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58208863877785616862008-04-21T10:18:00.000-04:002008-04-21T10:18:00.000-04:00How does a troll become an ex-troll? Blogless, an...How does a troll become an ex-troll? Blogless, any insights on this one?PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.com